Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
Aren’t sexual intimacy problems everywhere? People who have come in for emotional intimacy issues can be communicating clearly to their partner: “Get lost!” “It’s all YOUR fault!” It’s so very normal to get caught up in these communication pitfalls. It’s a negative loop of hope, desire, ... Views: 2316
Whether you have been in a relationship for 20 years or 20 days, celebrating your relationship is one way to unleash the power within your relationship and add gallons of enjoyment to your life. When you notice other couples who you admire and would like to have what they have, what do you ... Views: 1241
It’s no shock that the description of women in magazines makes women feel like dirt. But did you know pictures of hot women make men feel worse, too?
Everyone knows that the way women are portrayed in our culture – sexy, skinny, and tall – makes the most women feel a bit like the gum. When ... Views: 3003
Understanding men in relationships, though many single women will disagree, is quiet simple. The reason is that men, unlike women, are very simple creatures. They have simple needs, desires and are not overtly emotional, like women.
Still, many women find themselves in a situation where they ... Views: 1622
The lyrics as sung by Frank Sinatra: “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again..” offer a positive way of getting through life’s challenges. Sometimes, however, it takes a lot more healing and work to get through tough times.
It is said that 3 of the most difficult ... Views: 1731
Empowerment, that’s a good thing ~ right? Any time we have the ability to empower someone to do their best or make good decisions, it’s a positive in their life. So how do we get caught in the trap of negative empowerment? And what exactly is negative empowerment?
Have you ever noticed ... Views: 5109
Communication ~ it's such an important aspect of life and yet so few people really know how to communicate well. So many of us don't even realize we are poor communicators. Mixed messages are just one of many ways that people communicate poorly. Mixed messages occur when spoken words don't ... Views: 5807
John Gottman is a psychologist in the US who has studied married couples in great depth. This man has got the art of reading couples so off pat that he can tell within three minutes of observing them interact whether they will stay together or separate. He's spot on 96% of the time! When ... Views: 1400
We are so used to always seeing things from our own viewpoint. We know that what we experience is determined by our beliefs and filters and that these beliefs and filters were set in place at a young age before the life you are living now even existed. Yet we are so attached to our limited views ... Views: 1375
Inspire Your Family; families don’t really exist until they “connect.” Personally, I don’t define a family by who its members are or even by how those members might be related to each. I define a family by how it behaves and by the degree of connectedness and cohesion between its members. Even ... Views: 1041
Why Mindfulness 101 is a Lifesaver
Are you curious about new scientific research on baby-easy meditation that can help overcome chronic insomnia, reduce high blood pressure, and support self-control over anxiety?
Would you be interested in scientific research on how about 9 minutes of ... Views: 2022
Are you resisting letting men help you or do nice things for you? Maybe you’re thinking it threatens your independence or makes you seem weak. Or maybe you’re just trying to be low-maintenance; thinking that this is what men want.
As I’ve said time and time again, letting a man do for you – ... Views: 1630
Rianna and Joel consulted with me because they kept getting stuck in their relationship whenever there was a conflict. It wasn't the issue itself that kept creating a problem, but how they were dealing with the issue.
Married for 7 years with three children, they loved each other deeply, and ... Views: 4426
Halloween. Every year it's a challenge to be creative and accommodating to my I'm-not-wearing-that sweetie at the same time.
I love creative costumes. My ex was cooperative. He once allowed me to dress him as a topless dancer. The boobs I made for him out of balloons, cut up pantyhose, and ... Views: 1252
“We’re stubborn. We butt heads,” said Jan. “We’re both used to doing things our way, and the more the other pushes, the more we dig in our heels.”
A lot of couples bring me this problem in their first marriage counseling appointment. Maybe you can relate.
Bill was sitting on my couch, ... Views: 1524
Live and Let Live
“There will always be war, famine & poverty as long as anyone believes that he has the right to impose his will on another.” I wrote that on Twitter a few weeks back and it seemed to resonate with some people. That sentence is my conclusion of what people like you and I must ... Views: 1523
Is anger management really effective? That is a question asked by many with fairly limited information to support a non-subjective answer. Yes, there are numerous studies on anger management where the research has been published in a scientific journals and reviewed by peers. Most of these ... Views: 1674
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Kids! We love them. We cherish them. They bring joy to our lives. When we have children in a marriage, we understand finally, and once and for all, what eternity means. While we are not immortal, we learn the meaning of everlasting life when we ... Views: 6774
Couples who are going through a difficult period in their relationship should consider the support of a pre-marriage counsellor or marriage counsellor to help provide them with tools for managing their challenges.
Pre-marriage counselling and marriage counselling is a process of identifying, ... Views: 1007
Marriage counselling is a common type of therapy sought by couples in London and throughout Central Ontario. Marriage counsellors can help you with a variety of situations, but often focus on improving communication skills. Many counsellors and mental health professionals teach couples better ... Views: 932
How many times have you seen a person and judged them strictly on their appearance? Or, how many times have you turned away or avoided someone simply because of their appearance? If you find yourself making judgments or avoiding people based on their appearance, you are missing out on ... Views: 6650
With the holiday season upon us, do you find your hope-filled plans mixed with anxiety? Do you long for the perfect holidays of your youth but fear a repeat of last year’s performance? This year, invite peace and pleasantry to your party.
Using these 5 actions creates a holiday celebration ... Views: 1372
"Lewis, you are late! You only think about yourself. Nobody else matters! Dinner is ruined. Why can't you be on time for once in your life?" We will use this opening barrage of criticism to demonstrate an effective way to communicate a tough message effectively and yet maintain a loving ... Views: 1054
John had a disappointing day at the office -- he lost a key account. His partner Jane had a fantastic day at the office -- her boss loved her presentation. After their commutes home, John and Jane sit down to dinner. John is still feeling down about this day, whereas Jane is happy and ... Views: 1215
If you've decided to step back into the world of relationships, dating can feel pretty awkward at first, if not downright terrifying. After being married, having kids and getting divorced, we can't say we always enjoyed the experience, but we sure did learn a lot. In fact, it was a time of ... Views: 1190
In our article "Keep Your Relationship Loving by Speaking Up Sooner - 3 Tips," we recommended speaking up as soon as an issue arises to prevent arguments in your relationship. We recently found an added benefit to speaking up sooner.
We are on a quest to share information and help other ... Views: 949
Asymmetry refers to the imbalance in a particular area between the partners in the relationship. For example, one partner may have a higher paying job or more financial assets. Another partner may be much more outgoing and have many more close friendships.
In our minds, we call these ... Views: 987
To be demanding isn’t all bad, but there are many ways in which it can be unloving. It is one thing to be persistent in asking or requiring something, but excessively demanding one’s own way regardless of others’ rights or how they are treated indicates self-centeredness. Overly demanding people ... Views: 14550
Your First Steps To Changing
By Therese Benedict
In this world we walk around thinking that we are good people inside, yet we do such hurtful acts. In the beginning of our change, we need to recognize what belongs to us in those hurtful acts. Face them, say hello and put the actions with ... Views: 1992
TO LOVE IS TO BE LOVED
By Therese Benedict
We all want love in our lives. We all want to be loved and understood. We want people to hear our hurt, when that hurt is caused. We want each other to listen to what actions caused that hurt, so it is known and can be stopped.
What hurts us the ... Views: 3290
TO BE WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE
By Therese Benedict
We tend to think that just because we have freewill that we can be whom we want to be, instead of being who we are meant to be. This is a wrong way to think about whom we are and what is the reason of why we are here. God has created us with ... Views: 2445
One of my favorite TV Shows is House, M.D., about a brutally honest brilliant, irreverent and controversial doctor who trusts no one. While devoid of any bedside manner, Dr. House thrives on the challenge of solving medical puzzles in order to save lives. The title role is masterfully played by ... Views: 1304
The last two weeks, I received at my place at North Easton,MA (USA) about 150 people for the celebration of my wedding to the most amazing person God blessed me to be with: My wife, Dr. Vanessa Estelle Fossouo. There were people everywhere, some people I haven’t heard of for more than 10 years, ... Views: 1099
Many clients I work with take things in their lives and relationships personally. When I first introduce the concept that many things they think are personal really are not personal, I hear responses such as:
"How could I not take it personally? I am the one being rejected!"
"It's not ... Views: 4985
How have you answered that most perplexing and essential question in our lives, “Who am I?”
I found my answer by thinking of my heart as my essence. My heart is love and the feelings and behaviors associated with it are warm and peaceful. Being connected to my heart I feel a oneness and ... Views: 895
As a psychiatrist, I have observed that relationships are one of the major sources of exhaustion for many of my patients. In “Emotional Freedom” I discuss how to deal with different kinds of draining people to avoid getting fatigued, sick, or burned out.
It’s important to identify if you are ... Views: 5867
As a psychiatrist, I strongly believe that it is important to know about the narcissistic personality so you can have realistic expectations when dealing with coworkers, friends, or family members who may have some of these qualities.
In “Emotional Freedom” I describe how to recognize a ... Views: 9456
One of the questions I am most frequently asked is what couples counseling can do to restore a relationship. I can think of a thousand ways marriage counseling can be of use, but then I'm a bit biased and that would make for a mighty long article. So instead here are the top 7 ways couples ... Views: 1148
Are you a woman who suspects that your man is cheating on you? One of the most common questions asked by women who have been cheated on is “why do men cheat?”
When it comes to determining why men cheat on their wives or their girlfriends, it is difficult to come up with an exact reason. Why? ... Views: 3132
Lets talk about hidden agendas, shall we? The term “hidden agenda” can be a bit confusing. We may know we have expectations when communicating , and then again we may not. (An expectation is an underlying agenda that we hope to achieve.) Sometimes it’s even hidden from us. That’s why I ... Views: 892
In a loving relationship or marriage, most individuals want the very best for their spouse or partner. People want their partners to be successful, healthy, fit and happy so that each can enjoy the other for as long as possible. There are two ways to handle being involved in your partner's ... Views: 1497
It is no secret that men and women haven’t always been able to communicate properly. The concepts and ideas that are innate in most women are usually difficult concepts for most men to grasp. By the same token, things that are obvious to men are not easily understood by the majority of women. ... Views: 2696
A man is attracted right away, or he's not. They are way more visual that we want to admit. Women often tell me they think a man will 'become' attracted after he gets to know them. It doesn't work that way. That's how women often fall in love. We might be attracted initially, but then he does ... Views: 1852
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Okay, the children have all left home. You and your spouse are finally alone after two decades of marriage. Now what? How do you cope? What lies in store for the two of you?
These are questions faced by millions of married couples worldwide ... Views: 10628
Something I have been saying most of my adult life is, “Anger is wasted energy.” As much as that is true, it is only part of the story. Anger can actually bring poor health and shortened life spans. We all know that anger can bring on lengthy bouts of distress and strained relationships with ... Views: 1966
Each relationship is unique with each partner bringing their own idiosyncrasies into their relationship.
And as a unit, couples can develop their own particular relationship bad habits.
As the saying goes, bad habits are hard to break. In a relationship it is crucial to put in the work to ... Views: 1471
People resist intimacy primarily because they are hurt and afraid. To whatever degree you find yourself pulling away from your partner, resisting having one or buffering yourself from really being close with someone is the degree to which you are caught in a cycle of hurt and fear followed by ... Views: 1745
Thoughts of vacation to exotic spots, enjoying the world's most mouth watering foods, meeting wise, other-worldly shamans and living with love attraction are what terrific books and flicks are made of. Are they simply fantasies? Do they just come about to award-winning journalists and the like? ... Views: 1348
Relationships Cycle Predictably
by Jan Denise
Whether you dread or cheer summer’s end, autumn arrives. So, too, each season of your relationship takes a turn, repeating a cycle as predictable as spring, summer, fall, and winter.
Why not transition through the seasons with your eyes ... Views: 1296
You’re in Heaven, on Cloud Nine, blissed out, and every other love-smitten cliché in the book. HE actually was the one to celebrate your first month anniversary, you practically swooned with delight. Your friends are so bored with your bombardment of “He remembered how I take my double-chai ... Views: 1217