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In existential terms, for us to transcend dysfunction, we must accept the anxiety generated by the awareness of the nature of existence as inherent to our lives and learn to live with it as authentically as possible. The authentic self, which is both grounded in and aware of its transient ... Views: 63
Dear Dr. Romance:
I have been married for nearly 20 years and thought we had a great marriage. 10 years ago I got hurt and have had 6 back surgeries. At one point I would double up on meds and drink to ignore life. During this time my husband was an angel; until he discovered I ... Views: 111
I read somewhere that if there is a way of living that you would like to accomplish, a goal that you have set for yourself and haven't gotten there yet, the best way to magnetize it would be to pretend you are already there. So in essence you would create a circumstance that has you doing (even ... Views: 128
EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE CHECK
Each adult person has different types of emotional baggage.
If you have been lied to and/or cheated on, you may have a fear of deception.
You may show signs of being overly suspicious of others and guarded.
You expect the worst in most situations ... Views: 124
Dear Dr. Romance:
I have a friend who's asking for an advice and accidentally, I saw in the internet your advice to some heart problems. So I told myself to try ask help from you also. This lady friend of mine is well, kind of in love with a man who's also in love with her. However, a ... Views: 98
One of the most daunting tasks in being a healthcare provider is charting. With the sheer volume of patients one has to treat in a year, it's easy to lose track of data. This is why it is so important for any healthcare provider to have a standardized and easy-to-use system of data collection. ... Views: 91
Have you ever disappointed someone or broken a promise? Was the incident serious enough to ultimately compromise the trust between you? We all have been untrustworthy at some point. That doesn't mean that we're bad or selfish. Sometimes, even under the best of circumstances, we let people down. ... Views: 222
As I was swimming last week, a young couple came into the pool. Instead of doing laps or walking, like most of the gym members, they were just enjoying themselves. He started splashing her, and she said “Joey, stop it!” but she said it in a placating, whiney voice. He just kept ... Views: 251
Research shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family, but all friendships are not beneficial. A healthy friendship has mutual caring, mutual respect, mutual responsibility and good communication.
Breaking up with an important friend ... Views: 295
Maybe you grew up in a dysfunctional home in a codependent relationship. In the bestselling book, The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls tells of her hardscrabble childhood. Her father was an alcoholic, her mother abdicated her role as caregiver, and the children had to fend for themselves. Walls’ ... Views: 286
Guilt is a painful, uncomfortable and often lingering emotion that many individuals I work with suffer from. You will learn about John and Dana’s experience today, and at the end are my 3 secret tips to letting go of guilt.
Take John’s case, after many years of endless agonizing and ... Views: 270
Lost in Translation
Hagar the Horrible was giving worldly advice to his your Viking son. He says, “The secret of happiness is be content with what you got,” …so, he continues, “get enough.” ~Dik Browne.
John married Mary, his high school sweetheart, and after 20 ... Views: 263
Trust is what allows us to believe in ourselves, in others, and in situations. When put into action, it looks like our being confident and knowing that all will be okay no matter what. Liberator of the constraints of our fears and anxiety, from a trusting place, we feel spacious, light, and more ... Views: 308
What to say to my ex to get him back; If you were trying to get your ex back after breaking up, what would you think the best approach would be? Immediately after breaking up try to get them to come back to you, or leave them alone for a while so the two of you can calm down and think things ... Views: 235
i want my ex back what do i do; How to get an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend back is something many men and women think about. You have been single for a while now and having left your ex, you now understand what a good thing you had going with them. Now you are in a place that you would like to get ... Views: 226
You have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting wants and needs. If you ... Views: 228
To Coexist Harmoniously, All We Need Is Tolerance
As a writer and educator, one of my routine daily tasks is scanning through my favorite newspapers to be familiar with current affairs.
Lately, most of them have been cluttered with items that focused on the tension between Muslims and ... Views: 288
Dear Dr. Romance:
My story will probably sound like a thousand others you've heard, but I am in desperate need of some answers. I am in my fifties, my wife is a few years younger. My wife had a hysterectomy about 15 years ago, so menopause is not likely part of this equation. As you are ... Views: 234
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am (or was, perhaps) in a fairly strong relationship for a few months now. Recently though, as the upcoming fall quarter approaches, my girlfriend doesn’t think she can handle a relationship. Between stress from school (she really wants her 4.0 this year), over-bearing ... Views: 280
Dr. Romance writes: Early in our marriage, after a difficult struggle between us, I gave my husband Richard a card. All over the front it said, "I love you," and inside it said, "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it." That phrase has carried us through many ... Views: 262
Many people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and work together ... Views: 203
Knowing what you want is only part of the process in living the life that you dream of. The transformation really begins when you can start to translate what you want into radical honesty in each moment - honesty with yourself and with everyone in your life.
Once we have connected to our ... Views: 293
Now I know what your probably thinking…what an obvious answer to this question it is that “Honesty is the best policy”…Right?
But if the answer was that obvious why would I write a whole blog on it?
Obviously this is still a necessary topic, as so many people in relationships still lie to ... Views: 364
Ten Guidelines for Establishing Healthy Trust
“How do I know if someone is trustworthy?”
“How can I become trustworthy?”
“How can I ever trust again?”
Healthy trust is hard work. Betrayal, neglect, abuse, addiction and abandonment damage healthy trust but it’s never too late to learn how ... Views: 346
Here’s a wonderful poem on friendship I came across, written by David Leonhardt.
Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paint
Is who you are and who you ain't.
Friendship is life's great support
When friends are of the right sort.
For all your dreams do they make room,
Or bring you ... Views: 312
Many of us have lived a life where we have become proficient in accomplishing goals; we live our lives in that state of mind. When we are close to the end of life, what is our goal? In our lives, we have been "the Doer," where we do things by focusing on our thoughts. Preparing for death ... Views: 255
When we think of trust, we think of people, places and things. That kind of trust, even though you experience it within, is directed outside of you. When we face a challenge, we need to learn how to trust ourselves. When we trust ourselves, we are open to receive powerful inner resources. When ... Views: 308
There is so much pain in this world. There’s personal pain that often takes the form of anxiety, depression, addictions, and intrusive thoughts. There’s the physical pain of illness, injury, and disabilities, both short-term and chronic. There’s relationship pain when we endure conflict with ... Views: 349
It is important for human beings to work together, and this is because they’re interdependent; they need each other. So when they’re able to put their differences to one side and to find a common ground, their own lives are going to be a lot easier.
This doesn’t mean that everyone needs to ... Views: 335
It is often said that people shouldn’t have expectations and this is partly because it will cause them to be disappointed or let down. And while this can’t be denied, having expectations is part of life in many ways.
For example: when someone expects more from life, they are likely to ... Views: 465
Dear Dr. Romance:
I started dating a man 2 years younger than me, who is from another country. I thought he was very sweet and gentlemanly and of course I'm really attracted to him, and he eventually asked me on a date. We've had several dates, and he's very considerate, very ... Views: 526
Ever wondered how con artists can get away with all they do? They know how to charm people, and they have mastered the art of looking as if they belong. Because they have no feelings of guilt about misrepresenting themselves, they can pull it off. But you don’t have to be dishonest and ... Views: 522
"Never make yourself feel like nothing, to make someone else feel like everything!"
Rationalizing has to be prevalent when there is Domestic Abuse because how else could you convince yourself to stay. First you have to recognize that you are being emotionally, physically and or sexually ... Views: 371
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm nearly 30 and have been living with my boyfriend for several years. Last year we encountered a rough patch and I felt neglected and unloved and like all respect had gone from our relationship. Unfortunately during this time I got very drunk and kissed another man. I ... Views: 759
Dear Dr. Romance:
This question is a little hard for me because it is very personal. My husband and I were married for 24 years before he passed away. During our time together, I developed a severe case of alopecia which has left me with very little hair. This did not bother my ... Views: 482
We all have dreams, wishes and goals. There are things we want for ourselves, our partner, our family. Sometimes though we find that it is difficult, if not impossible, to make our wish a reality.
We may want to start a new business, go back to school, learn a new trade, pick up a new hobby ... Views: 719
Dear Dr. Romance:When I was 20, I met a man of 37. For many reasons, including what I thought was love, moved in with him 3 weeks later. After getting engaged to my partner, I discovered he crossdressed. I cried, but he said he did it cuz he was alone for so long before he met me. Flash forward ... Views: 691
25 Sure Ways to Improve Communication
“The greatest problem with communication is the illusion it has taken place.” ~George Bernard Shaw.
Communication is the main currency in the today’s Information Age, but sadly, miscommunication is our number one failing ... Views: 582
Dear Dr. Romance:
I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 almost 6 months now. We hit it off from the very beginning and fell in love a couple months into the relationship. Both of us are independent people and level headed, but there's a deep connection between the two ... Views: 965
If human beings were inherently independent, it wouldn’t matter if someone didn't have relationships with other people; as they would be able to just carry on with their life. But as human beings and everything else on this planet is interdependent, it means that relationships play a vital part ... Views: 672
Without a doubt, one of the most powerful ways for someone in a position of authority to become a true leader is through the trust of their team. Obtaining the trust of your employees can mean the difference between a smooth flow of work, and having people doubt your capabilities and intentions. ... Views: 567
As human beings are inherently interdependent and therefore reliant on others, relationships play a vital role in not only ones survival on this planet, but also in their ability to thrive. And this means that how one perceives others will play a big part in how they experience life.
Of ... Views: 501
Relationships: Three Tips to Dealing with a Really Difficult Ex-Spouse
Dr. Romance’s three tips to dealing with a difficult ex.
1. Choose your battles.
One of my clients once said “I don’t want to die on that hill.” She meant: that battle isn’t worth what it will cost me – I’ll ignore ... Views: 812
One can enter a new relationship with the idea that it will be a completely new experience and unlike what they have gone through in the past. But while this might be their outlook in the beginning, this can soon come to an end as the relationship progresses.
This could be because of what is ... Views: 577
To recover from infidelity and save your marriage:
1. Tell the Truth.
Assuming your spouse found out, you didn't confess—this is the time to tell the whole truth. It's probably best done with a therapist present, to keep a lid on the emotional reactions.
2. Give your Spouse the ... Views: 567
Dear Dr. Romance:
Just read a fine article of your from a link off the internet, and was wondering your best recommendation of the books you've wrote for jealousy and suspicious minds in a marriage with no real proof?
"Handling the Green-Eyed ... Views: 643
Last month, Dr. Romance received the following letter from a reader:
“A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomenon which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated...even abused...by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a ... Views: 597
There are many experiences of the truth of who you are:
"The Authentic Self is the part of you that lives before and after this lifetime, that is eternal…When you leave [your experience here on earth] you have a lot more power. It won’t be ego-based power. Rather it will be beyond ego, ... Views: 526
You made up. The argument is long over; life with your sweetheart is back to normal. Except for that little nagging thought that keeps running through your brain, with the determined persistence of a hamster on a treadmill: “How could he/she do that? How could he/she say that about me in front ... Views: 581
Not being authentic is a big problem in dating if you’re attempting to be someone you’re not when looking for the love of your life. Many women are taught in childhood to be pleasers and to cater to their man’s wishes, and often that means we act as the person we think our man would want to be ... Views: 379