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Trust is an essential key in any relationship. I’ve helped couples rebuild trust after an affair, financial dishonesty, physical and emotional abuse as well as constant lying over small things. I’ve also worked with individuals to trust again after previous childhood trauma or relationship pain ... Views: 157
Payam Ghassemlou Ph.D.
For over twenty years, I have been listening to life stories of many incredible people. It is part of my job. Many people might think I am listening to their problems, but I hear stories. People who come to me are brave storytellers. It is a ... Views: 108
Today we live in an age that promotes self-awareness BUT when it comes to relationships, it fails to show us how to use our self-awareness to arrive at good decisions. Most of the advice we get makes our problems even worse.
There are literally millions of men and women ambivalent about ... Views: 131
A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
A single lie discovered is enough to create doubt in every truth expressed.
If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past. If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.
We all know how difficult it ... Views: 184
Years ago, the words 'cheap' and 'travel agents' would rarely be used in the same sentence. People paid big bucks for their holidays, but since the growth of the Internet, the whole industry was turned upside down.
Travel agents pricing has lowered dramatically to compete in the worldwide ... Views: 213
Many people say with pride—“I’m a giver.” However, no one announces, “I'm a receiver”—albeit there are more receivers than givers.
The age old question— “Is It better to give than to receive,” is a miss nomer. The truth of the matter is, while you are giving you are receiving and while you ... Views: 217
I haven’t posted any new material for well over a year. Apologies. My goal is to create at least two blog posts per month and strive towards two new podcasts per month. I’ve suffered from horrible writer’s block, and until today I couldn’t move past my current ‘block’
If you’ve followed me on ... Views: 356
Dear Dr. Romance Recently, I have gone back to online dating but have some very strong concerns. I just severed a 5-year relationship with a man who seems to have an internet addiction. He worked from home and was constantly on the porn and personals (by looking ... Views: 261
I recently created a meme saying, “Allow People to Align With Your Truth,” and thought I’d explain what I mean by this. It all starts with aligning to yourself first, meaning acknowledging what you want and need to be happy and fulfilled. Knowing your truth will help you communicate it to those ... Views: 303
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Here we are. Deal with it. Love it up, even! The way to deal with and appreciate it, especially for more spiritually-based women, is to realize that while we’re all from the same planet, our spiritual growth processes occur differently. ... Views: 297
Summer blockbusters are full of Masters of the Universe—Superheroes/heroines, Emperors and Kings—in righteous battle. And, when someone storms your castle – be that of your thoughts, your actions, your behavior—don’t you defend it with all your might? “You’re wrong!” “You messed up, not me!” “I ... Views: 242
It can be difficult to know when a relationship needs to end, particularly if you've been with your partner for a long time. While there are things you can do to improve a relationship that has simply become stagnant, sometimes it's best for everyone to simply cut your losses and end things. ... Views: 407
You’re a woman. You feel things deeply, don’t you? You love ferociously and when you’re hurt you can feel it in every corner of your heart. Since you and your boyfriend parted ways, your life has been in turmoil. You miss him and the break up has forced you to really realize just how much he ... Views: 419
Dear Dr. Romance:
My boyfriend and I have been having problems in our relationship lately because of of the time I spend in chat rooms. I estimate that in a 48 hour period I spend 8 hours chatting with my friends. He estimates that I spend 15 hours there. One ... Views: 294
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read Age Differences in Dating I did date for about 3 years a woman about 4 years older than me. I love her still and we separated because one thing I felt was that she never wanted to open up about herself. The following comment caught my attention: ( I underlined and ... Views: 323
Dear Dr. Romance:
My wife has developed a connection with someone at work. Can I ask her to give up her job? If the guy she works with is the source of her attention, would it not be better to ... Views: 268
“A failure to confront is a failure to love.” Scott Peck
No one likes to be confronted, even in a nice way, for failing to keep an agreement. And many of us have come up with some very effective ways to discourage others from giving us feedback that we’d rather not hear. The problem with ... Views: 221
Relationships can be challenging, each with its own unique set of issues. Whether on the job with co workers who can at times be condescending, to social encounters with individuals who are overly critical, to our most personal relationships with family members who deeply offend us with hurtful ... Views: 538
Most unfaithful partners underestimate the damage and fallout after infidelity. Many claim that they didn’t think of the consequences and often, when faced with losing what they have, panic. This panic can lead them to make further mistakes in their attempts to help their injured partner.
If ... Views: 630
Dear Dr. Romance:
Excellent advice and a most excellent article I just read about older women dating younger men and age differences. I'm a 50 year old single male and have been single for 15 years with no children and have dated younger women on several occasions but did ... Views: 496
Before that loving Valentine's Day momentum fades away, think of this season as a great time to focus on effective communication with your partner. So regardless of what else is going on between the two of you, by keeping these essentials of good communication in mind, you can only make things ... Views: 552
What is Trust Made of?
What is Trust? How does someone earn your trust? What happens once it’s broken? Do you trust yourself?
There are many definitions for the word trust but to me it means that, “I can have faith that you will do what you say you will do, when you say you are doing it. ... Views: 534
If you are turned on by eyes, you may have a form of partialism, or in other words, a fetish for one particular part of the body.
Many people have heard about people with a foot fetish, but not that much is known about other weird attractions to bits and pieces of the body, not including ... Views: 551
Dear Dr. Romance:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. There is a seventeen year difference in age. I left for two and a half months to help my older sister during her second pregnancy because her husband was in Iraq.
When I came back I found out ... Views: 611
In existential terms, for us to transcend dysfunction, we must accept the anxiety generated by the awareness of the nature of existence as inherent to our lives and learn to live with it as authentically as possible. The authentic self, which is both grounded in and aware of its transient ... Views: 432
Dear Dr. Romance:
I have been married for nearly 20 years and thought we had a great marriage. 10 years ago I got hurt and have had 6 back surgeries. At one point I would double up on meds and drink to ignore life. During this time my husband was an angel; until he discovered I ... Views: 440
I read somewhere that if there is a way of living that you would like to accomplish, a goal that you have set for yourself and haven't gotten there yet, the best way to magnetize it would be to pretend you are already there. So in essence you would create a circumstance that has you doing (even ... Views: 456
EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE CHECK
Each adult person has different types of emotional baggage.
If you have been lied to and/or cheated on, you may have a fear of deception.
You may show signs of being overly suspicious of others and guarded.
You expect the worst in most situations ... Views: 868
Dear Dr. Romance:
I have a friend who's asking for an advice and accidentally, I saw in the internet your advice to some heart problems. So I told myself to try ask help from you also. This lady friend of mine is well, kind of in love with a man who's also in love with her. However, a ... Views: 363
One of the most daunting tasks in being a healthcare provider is charting. With the sheer volume of patients one has to treat in a year, it's easy to lose track of data. This is why it is so important for any healthcare provider to have a standardized and easy-to-use system of data collection. ... Views: 360
Have you ever disappointed someone or broken a promise? Was the incident serious enough to ultimately compromise the trust between you? We all have been untrustworthy at some point. That doesn't mean that we're bad or selfish. Sometimes, even under the best of circumstances, we let people down. ... Views: 836
As I was swimming last week, a young couple came into the pool. Instead of doing laps or walking, like most of the gym members, they were just enjoying themselves. He started splashing her, and she said “Joey, stop it!” but she said it in a placating, whiney voice. He just kept ... Views: 562
Research shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family, but all friendships are not beneficial. A healthy friendship has mutual caring, mutual respect, mutual responsibility and good communication.
Breaking up with an important friend ... Views: 600
Maybe you grew up in a dysfunctional home in a codependent relationship. In the bestselling book, The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls tells of her hardscrabble childhood. Her father was an alcoholic, her mother abdicated her role as caregiver, and the children had to fend for themselves. Walls’ ... Views: 1313
Guilt is a painful, uncomfortable and often lingering emotion that many individuals I work with suffer from. You will learn about John and Dana’s experience today, and at the end are my 3 secret tips to letting go of guilt.
Take John’s case, after many years of endless agonizing and ... Views: 752
Lost in Translation
Hagar the Horrible was giving worldly advice to his your Viking son. He says, “The secret of happiness is be content with what you got,” …so, he continues, “get enough.” ~Dik Browne.
John married Mary, his high school sweetheart, and after 20 ... Views: 511
Trust is what allows us to believe in ourselves, in others, and in situations. When put into action, it looks like our being confident and knowing that all will be okay no matter what. Liberator of the constraints of our fears and anxiety, from a trusting place, we feel spacious, light, and more ... Views: 653
What to say to my ex to get him back; If you were trying to get your ex back after breaking up, what would you think the best approach would be? Immediately after breaking up try to get them to come back to you, or leave them alone for a while so the two of you can calm down and think things ... Views: 734
i want my ex back what do i do; How to get an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend back is something many men and women think about. You have been single for a while now and having left your ex, you now understand what a good thing you had going with them. Now you are in a place that you would like to get ... Views: 489
You have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting wants and needs. If you ... Views: 455
To Coexist Harmoniously, All We Need Is Tolerance
As a writer and educator, one of my routine daily tasks is scanning through my favorite newspapers to be familiar with current affairs.
Lately, most of them have been cluttered with items that focused on the tension between Muslims and ... Views: 645
Dear Dr. Romance:
My story will probably sound like a thousand others you've heard, but I am in desperate need of some answers. I am in my fifties, my wife is a few years younger. My wife had a hysterectomy about 15 years ago, so menopause is not likely part of this equation. As you are ... Views: 497
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am (or was, perhaps) in a fairly strong relationship for a few months now. Recently though, as the upcoming fall quarter approaches, my girlfriend doesn’t think she can handle a relationship. Between stress from school (she really wants her 4.0 this year), over-bearing ... Views: 725
Dr. Romance writes: Early in our marriage, after a difficult struggle between us, I gave my husband Richard a card. All over the front it said, "I love you," and inside it said, "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it." That phrase has carried us through many ... Views: 513
Many people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and work together ... Views: 458
Knowing what you want is only part of the process in living the life that you dream of. The transformation really begins when you can start to translate what you want into radical honesty in each moment - honesty with yourself and with everyone in your life.
Once we have connected to our ... Views: 507
Now I know what your probably thinking…what an obvious answer to this question it is that “Honesty is the best policy”…Right?
But if the answer was that obvious why would I write a whole blog on it?
Obviously this is still a necessary topic, as so many people in relationships still lie to ... Views: 1399
Ten Guidelines for Establishing Healthy Trust
“How do I know if someone is trustworthy?”
“How can I become trustworthy?”
“How can I ever trust again?”
Healthy trust is hard work. Betrayal, neglect, abuse, addiction and abandonment damage healthy trust but it’s never too late to learn how ... Views: 1127
Here’s a wonderful poem on friendship I came across, written by David Leonhardt.
Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paint
Is who you are and who you ain't.
Friendship is life's great support
When friends are of the right sort.
For all your dreams do they make room,
Or bring you ... Views: 515
Many of us have lived a life where we have become proficient in accomplishing goals; we live our lives in that state of mind. When we are close to the end of life, what is our goal? In our lives, we have been "the Doer," where we do things by focusing on our thoughts. Preparing for death ... Views: 571