Being a human on this planet can be fraught with challenges. We go through illness, accidents, divorces, violence...sometimes, life is not very easy. Challenges come to help us choose a new reality – one of forgiveness, unity and peace. On the way, most of us will go through some emotional storms…visiting the depths of sadness, terror and loneliness.

It often takes some serious “inner muscle” to haul ourselves out of those pits of despair. We can do it, and the more we do, the stronger our muscles of focus and commitment become. Like any kind of exercise, the more we practice, the better we feel and the stronger we get.

Emotions are dear friends along the path of life, giving depth and texture to our experience. Some emotional states are expansive, and some are contracted. Depending upon our outlook, we’ll feel either fear (contraction) or love (expansion). Once we learn from our contracted emotions, we can let them go and return to love.

The following 3 Step Coming Back Process is offered to support you to “come back” to an easy flow with love and life. Try it when things get rough. May you “come back” more and more quickly as your inner muscles become beautifully supple and strong!

The 3 Steps

Step One: Release The Tension
As soon as you notice yourself experiencing tension, anger or anxiety, breathe out slowly. Put your hands on your heart and belly, or put both hands on your heart. Release and relax with some long exhales, witnessing whatever thoughts you’ve been running in your mind. Learn from your thoughts, accept your feelings, and - with humble honesty - gather vital information about yourself in the world. Spend some time here with the relaxing breath. Move on to Step 2 only when you have felt a shift in your awareness.

Step Two: Keep Your Power & Give Your Love
Continuing to use your breath, reconnect with your Divine Self. Inhaling, say to yourself, “I keep my power.” Filling your entire body enthusiastically with breath, consciously reclaim whatever power you’ve unconsciously given away – to another person, to a desire, to some attachment or aversion, to an ideal, etc. Focus intently on the inhale part of your breathing and imagine divine power rising up and down your spine. Come back into your body, heart and mind.

Play with the inhale breath and the thought, “I keep my power” for a few breath cycles until you are comfortable with it.

Then focus on your out-breath. Exhaling say, “I give my love.” Give love and trust to yourself and your world and to whoever is involved in the present situation. Feel the power of truth going up and down, and in and out of your body with your breath. Connect with your caring heart. Open to the heavens through your head and the Earth through your feet.

Experiment with bringing color inside your body while you align with your inner state of being; for example, fill your lungs and whole body with gold or blue or white or purple – whatever color feels supportive and appropriate in the moment.

Releasing your mind’s hold on all of the tantalizing details of your situation, allow divine grace to flow from you. It may feel like a fountain of color, or waves of sensation emanating from you out to the world. By giving good energy away, you return to your true purpose as a channel of love.

Step Three: The Rose Technique
Roses are a symbol of beauty, soft strength, perseverance, and the aspect of God called the Divine Feminine.

The Rose Technique is a visualization of roses around your physical body. You can do this a few different ways:
• Imagine one rose (of any color) half way between yourself and another person
• Visualize many roses all around you.
• Sit or stand inside an immense rose that expands all around you.

By imagining the rose(s), you consciously bring to yourself the healing power of the holy feminine. You say to yourself, “Inside this rose is my space - which I freely choose to fill with compassion, acceptance, strength, beauty and divine power. I tune into my arms and hands and send light through them. I lift my chest, feel my heart, and send power consciously through my feet. I continue the breath mantra: I keep my power. I give my love. I recognize the divine in myself and all people involved in the situation.”

You are now ready to listen with an open heart. You are ready to receive feedback from others that may serve and enlighten you. You can begin to look forward to the lessons you will receive from what you’ve created in this situation. Choose the power of peace and give thanks. Welcome back!

This essay was originally printed in The Mountain Spirit Chronicles, Mount Shasta, CA.

Author's Bio: 

Ana Holub is a forgiveness counselor, teacher and mediator. She specializes in practical skills for your happiness, peace and inner connection. Get free downloads and learn more about how forgiveness can open up a whole new life for you! Individual, couples or group sessions. Phone sessions, too!