The things we tell ourselves throughout the day often seem like cold-hard fact. But if you step back and really look at what you’re saying to yourself and what beliefs you’ve bought into, you’ll realize you’re lying to yourself. And it’s making you sell yourself short in life; it’s making you settle for mediocrity.

These lies are NOT based on fact but on your insecurities and fears you’ve picked up throughout life. Now it’s up to you to pick through them and knock them out one at a time so you can start living with anticipation and joy.

5 lies you need to stop telling yourself

5. “My accomplishments are insignificant.” Somewhere along the way you’ve learned to minimize your strengths and skills and so the things you’ve accomplished using these gifts have now become insignificant too. If you’re guilty of this, you’ve bought into society’s definition of success, and if your achievements aren’t matching up to this vision, you’re dismissing years of hard work and effort by diminishing what you’ve done. There’s no better way to make yourself feel irrelevant and undeserving. Here’s a tip. Look down at your hands right now and think of the things YOUR hands have accomplished throughout the years (e.g., held your baby when she cried, the work they did to get a promotion, the work they did to get your family out of a crisis, the work they did to get your finances in order). You’ve accomplished all those things through applying your strengths and skills with your very own hands. Don’t dumb down your achievements for no reason.

4. “I don’t deserve it.” This lie is subtle and doesn’t always come in a form of spoken words. It’s not a message you would stand at the top of a table and yell out loud. It’s typically expressed as a FEELING – a pang in your heart when you want something but feel you’re not good enough or talented enough. If you ever accepted something with guilt or turned something down because you didn’t think you worked hard enough or didn’t think you earned it, you’ve definitely told yourself “I don’t deserve that.” Your value is unconditional. You don’t have to work hard to feel important and to ‘deserve’ it. Many experiences are a gift from the universe. You just need to accept.

3. “I am not capable.” Poor self-esteem and self-confidence leads women to believe they’re not competent; a thought that emerges for them on a daily basis. How many opportunities have slipped through your fingers because of this? Whether it’s being handed a new project and feeling worried you wouldn’t get it right, or fearing you’d screw up something important, these are subtle thoughts of incapability. They are false! With practice and time, you’re capable of learning, moving forward, and doing great.

2. “That’s just the way it has to be.” Nothing is the way it MUST be because nothing is etched in stone. It comes down to choices and the specific pattern of choices you’re making. It’s not always easy to get yourself out of a pickle... but that doesn’t mean your situation is the way it has to be. Believing you have to live with some form of suffering isn’t true. You have tremendous power. Choose to exercise it and you’ll see things aren’t the way they need to be.

1. “She knows better than me.” He, she, they... whoever... doesn’t know better than you when it comes to life or figuring things out. This statement is typical of many women with high self-doubt and low self-trust. Other people may have different skills but it doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of learning and growing. Don’t pass up on opportunities because of your insecurities. Remember, no one has an advantage when it comes to life decisions and predicting the future. You are at par with everyone else.

Author's Bio: 

Toronto Life Coach for For Women, Ivana Pejakovic, B.Sc., MA, provides training and support to kind-hearted and genuine women who struggle with their self-esteem, feel stuck and trapped, or are emotionally exhausted. I offer educational programs, products with the goal of helping my clients Reach Their Full Potential.

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