"Alternative Notions Of Life, A Different Path (2): Trying Too Hard?"

“Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…”

*Below is the second in a series of articles based on real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in “My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.

Are you “Trying too hard”? What exactly is trying too hard anyway? Simple. It feels bad. And the results you seek are not materializing.

But there’s an alternate, better way to get the things you want in life.

- The Scenario -

Here’s a common situation:

You’ve been trying to do something (or have something) for quite sometime, but it’s just not happening. You feel like you’ve done all your homework and “checked all the blocks” required for the task. Whatever it is you want, you feel that it’s really, really important and you want it bad! You begin to envy the other people who already have it. You wonder why, with all the hard work you’ve done, you don’t have it by now too? Sometimes you get angry, depressed, or discouraged because you don’t have it yet. You wonder why other people seem to cruise through life while you are struggling.

At this point, many people simply give up. They rationalize. They make excuses. They blame other people, their lack of this or that, and finally, they start blaming institutions.

- Bad Vibes -

The above scenario reeks of negativity. It’s no wonder that what was desired never came to fruition.

Let’s take each sentence and explore its impact on the scheme of things.

1. You’ve been trying to do something (or have something) for quite sometime, but it’s just not happening.

The first thing you should know is that “trying to do” something is a wishy-washy way of giving yourself a backdoor excuse if things don’t work out.
“Trying” really equates to a half-hearted-to-average attempt at something. It doesn’t involve total responsibility for your own actions.

And of course, with no real commitment to the project, things will definitely not work out.

Why do so many people “try” to do things, instead of simply DO them?

In a word. Fear. Fear of failure.

(Note: The fear of success is a deep-seated (usually subconscious) fear that life would be worse if one succeeds. That is, more stress, loss of friends, and eventual failure. It’s often seen in people who seem talented and motivated, but who always end up sabotaging themselves before they succeed. Since most people aren’t even aware of their own fears of success, they wonder why they continually run into “bad luck”. In reality, they are the real cause of all the seemingly random, unfortunate events.)

- The Fear/Manifestation Paradox -

Remember this:

What you fear, you will attract. And what you resist will persist.

Why? Because the Universe doesn’t understand statements posed in the negative sense (i.e., I will not…, I don’t want…, I will no longer…, No more …. , etc.). It simply latches onto to the predominant object or condition in your thoughts and delivers it!

For example, some people fear being fat/fatter. They think being fat will turn off their mate or keep potential suitors away. They’re afraid that they will need a new wardrobe of “fat” clothes. They think it will make people believe that they’re lazy or stupid, etc.

Get the picture? It’s all based on fear of this or fear of that.

So, the thought of “I don’t want to be fat” continually runs around in their minds. And guess what? The only thing the Universe hears is “be fat” and delivers more opportunities to “be fat” to them!

That’s why a fat person cannot get slim if he keeps thinking about how fat he is.

That’s why a sick person cannot get healthy if he keeps reminding himself how sick he is.

That’s why a poor person cannot get wealthy if he keeps thinking about how poor he is.

And that’s why a person afraid of failure cannot succeed if he keeps thinking about failing.

As my old Gunnery Sergeant used to say, “Fear and Desire can not live in the same mind!”

You must only think of what you want, not what you don’t want.

If you are fat and want to be slim, think only of how good it feels being slim. If you want health, think only health. If you want to be rich, think only in rich terms. And if you want to succeed, think only about success.

- Requirements Complete. Really? -

2. You feel like you’ve done all your homework and “checked all the blocks” required for the task.

The second sentence of the scenario implies that you feel that you should now have what you want because you’ve met all the requirements.

Really?

Let’s face it. If this were so, you would, indeed, get what you want.

Oftentimes, this is when people start crying “foul” and look to anyone to commiserate with.

But rather than complaining about an “unfair, crooked” system (if there truly was a system in the first place), why not go back and see what’s missing?

Have the requirements changed? Have new standards been set? Is it something that is awarded to the best applicant? Are you the best applicant? Or did you simply do the minimum requirements?

Let me say this again: Obviously, something is still needed to get what you want; or you would already have it now.

Do your due diligence.

After that, go the extra mile. Believe me, in a world of mass mediocrity, your extra effort will make you stand out.

- Want and Desperation -

3. Whatever it is you want, you feel that it’s really, really important to you; and you want it bad!

What do you think the Universe gets from the above sentence?

That’s right, Want and Desperation.

The whole tone of the sentence is “scarcity and anxiety” – I don’t have something; and I’m afraid I won’t get it.

Consequently, the Universe recognizes “Want and Desperation” as the predominant objects of your thoughts, and delivers you more of the same!

So, what’s a person to do?

First, realize that it’s rarely the “end of the world” if you don’t get what you want, when you want it.

This will lessen your obsession with what you think is “sorely missing” and begin to free up your energies for more positive thoughts and actions.

Accept your current situation. Acknowledge that this is the perfect manifestation of your desires and actions of the past. And be secure in the fact that what you’re doing now will determine who you will be tomorrow.

Then, be happy in the moment.

Don’t relive past depression. And don’t pull future anxiety into the present.

Be grateful. Really.

Here's a neat trick that may sound weird to you, but believe me, it works!

The next time you feel “wanting and desperate,” say to yourself (or, if possible, say aloud) “Thank You”.

It’s that simple.

Think of all the things and people that you are grateful for in your life.

Why?

Because gratitude keeps you connected to everything good in life. It is purely positive. Being more grateful will attract more positive things, events, and people into your life.

Again, just simply say “Thank You”. It will be hard at first, but it gets much easier with practice.

Try it. It makes you feel better. Period.

And it instantly changes the negative signals you are sending to the Universe into positive ones. This, in turn, will attract more positive things back to you.

- Jealousy and Envy -

4. You begin to envy the other people who already have it.

Many people confuse the word “jealousy” with the word “envy”. Jealousy means that someone has something that should be yours and you want it back. Envy means that you want what somebody else has, but you really have no right to it (that is, it wasn’t yours in the first place).

Both words can evoke a rush of negative feelings of lack – I don’t have it.

Then the “Have/Have Not Monster” begins to torment you, trying to make you believe that you were destined to always be in the “Have Not” category.

I recommend replacing the words “jealousy” and “envy” in your vocabulary with “desire” and “wish”. It is perfectly fine to desire or wish for something.

Concentrate on what you desire, not on what you don’t have!

Focusing on what you desire AND doing something positive about it will bring forth much more success than lamenting about what you don’t have.

When you begin to envy the possessions of another person, remember that there is no reason why you can’t have the equivalent or better.

I can’t stress these fundamentals enough:

*Concentrate on what you desire, not on what you don’t have.

*Instead of complaining, be grateful for what you already have (and for what’s on its way).

*Everyday, do something that takes you a little closer to your goal.

If you do these fundamentals, I guarantee your level of envy will decrease (or disappear entirely) and you’ll start feeling better about yourself and your life.

Most of all, you’ll stop “Trying too hard” and begin to enjoy “The Flow” of prosperity.

…Continued in “Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (3): Be Effective First”.

“Until next time, be brave enough to take a Different Path.”

Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,

Carl “J.C.” Pantejo

Attraction, try, paradox, positive, negative, fear, resist, persist, gratitude, want, desperation, have, have not.

Note: If you want to read more about Universal Laws, unconditional love, exorcizing past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:

“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path: Guardian Angels and Universal Laws.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ series, articles (1) – (20).” (This is a series of articles about love, romance, Asian/Western relationships, relationship analysis, and more.)

“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”

“Remember Who You Are!”

“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”
“Simple (and Priceless) Life Lessons From the Most Influential Prosperity Mentor in My Life - My Father”
And much more!

(By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or “Carl Pantejo”)

Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com
By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo, Copyright March 2008.

(Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)