If you corner most anyone born in America, and now over the age of 60, and ask them to compare social relationships from a half century ago to today’s condition the answers are startlingly similar and revealing. The general answers are frequently that those times from the past were more considerate, methodical, gentler and compassionate. To most under the age of 60 those revelations will be greeted with disbelief, in the extreme, or at best garner accusations of gross exaggeration. A lot of that can be attributed to a condition we hear a great deal about today called Denial. Denial has become the resolution to things we don’t understand or don’t want to accept. Let’s consider these differences that most, over age 60 people, will recall of the past and compare them to what all readers can relate to in the present. Allowing for some variability from either perspective the differences are still revealing. However, rather than make this overly argumentative, I have chosen not to “tear and compare” but rather to simple point out what is happening in our current society and compare that with the statement that the past by comparison was more considerate, methodical, gentler and compassionate..

People are inherently good. So what is the “new age” dilemma that has created the differences? It is Stress that is produced by an accelerated life style and forced into our motivational systems from our earliest age. It has been at the root of incredible highway mayhem, increased our blood pressures, added to our food consumption, initiated a diabetic epidemic, increased numbers of by-pass surgeries, huge increase in divorce rates, multiplicities of the Columbine disaster and dare I say noticeable hyperactivity types of behavior in so many of our kids along with other accelerated fast track issues. The speed rush has forced us to feel it necessary to compete with one another over the presumed prestige of bigger houses, fancier cars, the best colleges, country club memberships and other things too many to mention (how much is on your credit cards?). We do not seem to care for others nearly as much as we care for ourselves. When asked about this many will say, of course, how else would you place your priorities. That is singularly telling in itself. But it is part of our, I, My, Me society. We have changed for the worst in dealing with one another and our personal challenges and its hurt our social structure.

We retain psychologists or psychiatrists or gurus, of various trends, to tell us what is hidden from our minds through misconceptions, distractions, distress or sometimes disease. These practitioners are kept quite busy, a sign of the degree to which our social fabric has been stretched. Is all this treatment necessary? In many, many instances sadly it is. Where therapy has become necessary they are the only real help. Not far behind, from a different perspective are certified life coaches who have become quite busy helping many people to reach within themselves to bring forth the knowledge that so often is buried within them ready to relieve their stress by controlling its causal effects.

It is from my perspective and education as a certified life coach and over 30 years as a human resource manager, a father of five, and being well over age 60 that I draw upon

A State of Anger and Frustration Page 2 of 2

my observations. There are many, many good people in this country who are just a few steps away from being able to help themselves and others to manage their lives a bit
better. There are good books and booklets on stress management and friends can always help friends. I have a more simple way of helping you to move up the ladder, away from the stress that pulls you down. It requires systematic doing. The way our lives are today it seems we are consumed by a constant barrage of challenge and demand. It produces a confusing whirlwind of ideas and pressure and with it stress and with that frustration and paralysis. So here is what you can do to help yourself escape those things.

The first thing you must do is to sit down, in quiet, by yourself and make a list of all the things that come to mind that frustrate you, Mom, dad, school, job, boss, fellow worker, upcoming test, etc. etc. etc. Then each night take five minutes to review the list and pick one thing. That’s right, just one thing. That can be difficult because you have so many things! But just do it. The next morning recall that thing before you do anything. Let’s say it is something with a fellow worker. Be brave, no negative thoughts and approach your fellow worker with a positive attitude and deal diplomatically but directly with the problem (avoid confrontation) and start to work it out. Continue to deal with your worker friend in this same way each day and you will see a difference. Pick out your next problem and deal with it in a similar fashion. You can handle concurrent items but stay in control of your list—don’t try to take on more than you can handle because that’s where the whirlwind lives. Each success, each inroad will make you feel a growing confidence, more in control and a bit happier. Over time you will begin to see how being in control and taking calm and deliberate issue with your concerns and fears will make major improvements in your life. Don’t give up, just keep on trying and trying will reward you and become easier. Be considerate, methodical, gentler and compassionate and accomplishment will transform you into a more caring person enlightened through a step by step, continual process of reaching out to resolve and improve your life’s conditions. You see, we don’t manage things like that today but you can take charge and kick a great deal of stress right out of your life.

About the Author: Michael J Boyle is a Certified Life Coach. Michael is founder of Executive Coach Now, an executive and business coaching firm. If you wish to learn more about his work please visit his website at www.executive-coach-now.org. He can be reached at mjbyourlife@comcast.net

Copyright Notice: Michael J Boyle,
This article is copyright Michael J Boyle © 2008. All rights reserved. You may use this article for your newsletter and/or news feeds only if the author's name and copyright information is attached in full.

Author's Bio: 

Michael is a certified life coach founder of Executive Coach Now a business that provides improvement services to executives, business persons and small business. He has over 25 years experience as a Human Resource Director in two Fortune 100 companies.