Are You Living Life or Letting Life Live You?

It’s Monday morning and you have a to-do list of 8 things that you want to get done by the end of the day. You have been careful to leave time in your schedule for each item and if all goes according to plan, you should have all the items x’ed off by the time you go to bed.

But, as so often happens, things don’t go according to plan. Your first meeting is cancelled which throws off your schedule. Then, instead of moving on to your next item, you get distracted by a discussion regarding some program funding; and before you know it, it’s time for the meeting with your assistant. Since your schedule had been thrown off, you aren’t really properly prepared, and the meeting doesn’t go as well as you would like.

By this time you are feeling a little off center, so you decide to take an early lunch and get yourself back on track. You regroup and return to work ready to tackle the afternoon tasks. The first couple of hours go well. Then one of your staff has a problem that needs your immediate attention; and before you know it, it is time to go pick up your child and go home.

Your plans for the evening are to work on the quilt you have been making. This is an activity that you thoroughly enjoy, even though you don’t work on it as often as you would like. After you get your child to bed, you find that, once again, you are feeling too tired to quilt, so you turn on the TV and allow yourself to get absorbed in the latest reality show.

As you head off to bed, you reflect on the day and are amazed at how often LIFE got in the way of the day’s tasks. Oh well, maybe tomorrow will be calmer and you will be able to get more accomplished.

Does this sound familiar? How often does LIFE get in the way of what you are trying to do? If you are like most of us, the answer would be “A lot”. So, what can we do to keep ourselves more focused and on track? Life is constantly happening. Yet, many of us live our lives waiting for things to be different. We keep thinking that, “when I have this much money … or when I get that job… or when this happens”, then things will be better and my life will then be under control.

It is as if there is some magical point where our individual lives will intersect with LIFE making everything turn out the way we want. And while we are waiting to reach this place of Utopia, we allow ourselves to just hang out and let LIFE bounce us around like a pinball. Maybe there is a better way.

I invite you to try the following exercise:
Choose one hour in the next couple of days and plan what you want to do. Keep it simple at first. It might be as ordinary as between 6:00 – 7:00pm I will watch the evening news, eat my dinner, and wash and put away the dishes. During that hour notice all the distractions that arise for you. It might be useful to jot them down.

You may hear a part of you saying, “I don’t want to watch the news. I want to watch a rerun of Seinfeld”. Another part might say, “I will do the dishes tomorrow morning. I really want to read now.” The phone may ring and it’s a friend wanting to talk about their weekend. Part of you wants to talk with her. However, remember, this hour is yours. Notice how it feels to stay on target. A part of you might not like the structure, while another part may be very relieved you are doing what you set out to do.

The purpose of this exercise is to gain awareness. Begin to notice how you let yourself get distracted. Begin to recognize what voices pull you away from your intentions. See how easy it is to get caught up in the drama of life. When we are able to see how we distract ourselves, it becomes much easier to change our patterns of behavior and concentrate on staying centered and focused.

There is no doubt that LIFE frequently tosses us curveballs; but it’s not the situations that throw us off kilter. It is how we react to the situations. As we strengthen our ability to return to our center, we will notice a drastic decrease in the amount of drama and distraction in our daily lives. We are able to reclaim our power and start truly living our lives – no longer allowing LIFE to live it for us.