YOU ARE A PERFECT YOU
There is really only one goal in life, that is, to be you, and to be you as well as you possibly can. Over the twenty odd years that I’ve been working with people on how to improve their lives I still find it exciting to see the way in which everything seems to start falling into place for them, once they find their true self and begin living out of that.
The problem is, most of us spend our lives trying to live up to what we think is expected of us – by society, parents, teachers, ministers etc. We mistakenly believe that our true self is somehow inadequate, faulty, useless, or just plain bad. My response to people who are afraid of rediscovering their true selves is to point out that God doesn’t create rubbish. As the great Carl Rogers put it, we are not born into the world alienated from ourselves. The alienation is a product of years of subtle conditioning by a society that, from a very early age, makes it clear that there are certain expectations of how ‘a person like you’ should be. The punishments for failure to conform to this can be harsh indeed.
We are, in fact, born into the world as a perfect us. Uniquely talented and gifted - endowed with everything we need for a successful, happy fulfilled life. Thankfully, though this person gets buried or suppressed, he/she is still there, it is not possible to destroy it.
Now I don’t mean to imply that making the return journey to yourself is easy, or painless. However, I can promise you that you will like who you really are. Sure, there’ll be some parts that you’ll want to work on, but they’ll be so much easier to accept, rather than being ashamed of them.
Not only will you like ‘you’, but you will also discover that the true you has skills, talents, and abilities you didn’t know about. As you begin to live out of this true self, you will find that you start to feel a new, and deeper sense of self-belief, self respect, self-confidence, peace and fulfillment.
This won’t mean that you have to rebel against, or reject your current way of life and values. You will just find it easier to identify what is important, and what is not. You’ll be free from trying to make everyone like you; instead, you will be able to accept people as they are, and your only expectation is that they respect you.
I have only scratched the surface of this subject. I have deliberately not tried to explain in detail how we become alienated from ourselves, and how we can make the return journey to ourselves, because there is not enough space here to do it properly. However, I hope that I have given you a flavor of how exciting and freeing this can be. Also I hope that I have begun to allay some of your fears – after all it’s only a case of allowing your true self to do what it already knows how to do – Be You!
Dave Schmitz-Binnall is co-owner (with his wife Liz) of D & L Associates. Dave is originally from England, and came to the US 13 years ago to marry Liz, who is from Montana. Their company offers personal coaching, home and small business mentoring, advice and problem solving. Dave and Liz have qualifications and experience in both human services and business, and have been helping people to become more fulfilled, happy, and successful for over 15 years. They can be reached at their web site http://dlassoc.us or email davesb@dlassoc.us or call (208) 664-7321
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