Even if you’ve had nothing to do with marketing or sales you’ve no doubt heard the phrase “closing the sale.”

For example, when you purchase real estate, the meeting where the documents are signed is called a “closing.”

The transaction has been completed, product delivered, and money has changed hands.

To close the sale is the objective of every sales person.

But think about it, what does “closing the sale” imply?

The dictionary defines “close” and “closing” with these variants:

- to stop rendering the customary services of
- to terminate or suspend the operation of
- to become closed
- to come to an end
- to cease to offer the customary activities or services
- to cease the performance of

What finality! It sounds terminal, after which there is nothing.

The problem with “closing the sale” is that it focuses on the transaction — the paperwork, the checks, the product – all the external details.

And then there’s the implied consequence that once the sale is closed, the possibility of further sales seems to close with it. So, with the next sale, if there is one, the salesperson has to start all over again — from scratch.

This may seem like just language to you. “Hey, it’s just words.” But words reflect reality and they have a sneaky way of instructing us about what to do and how to be.

What if instead of “closing the sale” you “opened the relationship?” By doing this you create a feeling that something is ongoing. Something that is alive and breathing.

And it’s much more attractive because it’s personal – between human beings instead of between stacks of paper, that once signed, get filed away - out of sight- forever.

The experience of "opening the relationship" is quite different and so is the focus.

This doesn’t mean you neglect the paperwork — the necessary details. It means that the paperwork is completed in service of the people involved rather than in the service of the paperwork involved.

It’s all about the relationship — the emotional connection — that’s where the stickiness resides. So if there’s an opportunity for another sale, you don’t have to start from scratch. You have the relationship.

And if you’ve focused on the relationship, nourished it with sincere ongoing contact, supported it with genuine care for the well-being of your customer you will never have to close another sale for the life of that relationship. The relationship will continue to open and recurring sales will continue until your customer has outlived his or her need for what you offer — and, that may never happen.

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Author's Bio: 

Husband-and-wife psychology team and Internet marketers Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D. pioneered a heart-based approach to Soft Sell Marketing. They’ve taken
that approach into producing “Bridging Heart and Marketing” - their unique, first-time-ever Internet marketing conference dedicated to the specific needs of the Soft Sell marketing community - for whom the typical hard sell "hype" doesn't fit.

By Soft Sell they’re referring to all the personal growth, healing and life-enhancement providers who market services and products. Unlike typical hard sell tactics, Soft Sell Marketing reinforces a caring and trustworthy relationship between marketers and the prospects and customers they want to attract.