Success with Tantra lovemaking requires that you go out of your mind and get into your body. This means getting out of thought and into sensation.

Here is an incredibly easy but powerfully effective way to rapidly improve the quality of your experience during lovemaking, by helping you get out of memory and get into the Now Moment. With this simple technique, we call the dial technique, men can learn to delay ejaculation, women can learn to have multiple orgasms, you can overcome feelings of embarrassment, shame and guilt, win over fear, worry and boredom, you can keep passion and excitement alive in your relationship forever, and you can have lots more fun with your lover.

One form thought takes is memory. Memory is very useful for lots of things, but during lovemaking it can also be a problem. You must learn to differentiate between what kind of memory is helpful and what kind is not helpful. Your body remembering how to do things, for example - keeping internal smooth muscles relaxed during peaks of sexual arousal, is very helpful, because this kind of memory does not mimic thought. But if your memory mimics thought it will put you into your head and keep you out of your body. One of the most pernicious types of memory is the memory of your lover's body, or the memory of how lovemaking has previously progressed step-by-step, as a pattern that you then repeat over and over.

Here is a technique that lovers can use to help them go out of their minds and get into their bodies. It is the dial technique. You can find all sorts of interesting variations for using this technique in other areas of your life besides lovemaking. This technique is very simple to use. To apply this technique you simply create in your imagination one dial for whatever you want to diminish and/or another dial for whatever you want to increase.

In your imagination, create one dial that controls your memory (the kind of memory that mimics thought, e.g., remembering how something was the last time you did it), and create another dial that controls sensation. Make the dials different colors, for example the memory dial can be blue (symbolic of thought) and the sensation dial can be red (symbolic for the body). Any colors that feel right for you will work. You can also put textures, and other personalized touches to your dials. For example you could cover them with pieces of cloth that you are fond of. You can make the buttons different sizes if you want. For example you might want the sensation dial (or the things you want to increase in intensity) really big and the memory dial (or the things you want to decrease in intensity) really small.

During your lovemaking, find the dials in your imagination and turn the dial for memory way down in intensity, strength, volume, or voltage to nothing at all. At the same time turn the sensation dial way up in intensity, strength, volume, or voltage to a very high level - a level that you are comfortable with. Turning the dials up or down simply means, in your imagination see your hand actually grab the button and turn it. You could also visualize a pointer on a dial screen increasing or decreasing, or the lights on a digital light meter, such as the indicators of a stereo signal on an amplifier, increasing or decreasing as you turn the button. Use any aid to visualization that works for you to show increase or decrease in intensity.

Be creative in your use of this technique. Here are a few other suggestions for using the dial technique during lovemaking. Create buttons for any aspect of your lovemaking that you are unhappy with, such as fear, quick male ejaculation response, worry, guilt, shame, or embarrassment Create other buttons for any skill, knowledge or feeling that you want to be more present in your lovemaking, such as love, general relaxation response, internal smooth muscle relaxation, firmness of erection, female orgasm response, female ejaculation orgasm response, excitement, joy, fun, playfulness, creativity, or comfort

If you create a lot of buttons be aware of getting yourself confused. It may be wise to use only a few buttons at a time. You might also record the buttons on paper. Draw pictures of the buttons and clearly label them so later you can remember which buttons are for which experiences. Drawing the buttons can also help you more easily visualize them in your imagination.

Once you have learned how to use this technique you will find that every time you make love is like the first time! You will feel that thrill, that excitement, that anticipation, that longing for your lover that you felt the first time you made love with them. In fact it is the first time, because you are not invoking thought/memory to compare it with. This is delightful indeed, and is one of the secrets to staying in love and keeping passion alive in a relationship that lasts a lifetime. This is a key skill necessary to enable you to create love year after year with the same person. This is one important way to keep a monogamous committed relationship hot, sexy, juicy and exciting - indefinitely! Do you use the dial technique? Don't you wish your lover did?

Al Link and Pala Copeland

Author's Bio: 

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover’s romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their websites, and their blog or send email: They have four books published including Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, New Page, 2003; The Complete Idiot's Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra, Penguin, 2007; Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms Body, Heart, Mind and Soul, Llewellyn 2007; Tantra Step by Step: 28 Days to Ecstasy, Llewellyn 2007.

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