Step one of giving yourself permission to succeed is find your loving mirrors and safe havens, so this is where we just find them. Let’s talk for a second about loving mirrors and safe havens. If you heard my preview call or you’ve taken classes with me before, I want to go over this. If you’ve never taken this class with me this may be new information, but it’ll be enough review that I want you to get solid with this.

This is the foundational step! You cannot build without a foundation. You can build it on sand, but it won’t be there for long. This is the foundation, we can’t go anywhere without this. When we look at a loving mirror, what does that mean? It is a person who can give you unconditional support. That is the definition of a loving mirror; a loving mirror is a person who can give you unconditional support.

I want to talk in more depth about this loving mirror and then we’re going to talk about safe haven, which is a business version of a loving mirror, and I hope you’re writing all this down. The loving mirror gives you unconditional support, now that does that mean that they just say anything you do is, everything you do they love, and everything you do is wonderful? I hope not, because I’ve got to tell you not everything I do is wonderful, not everything I do is right, not everything I do is good enough.

It just isn’t. We do not want a yes man or woman as a loving mirror, I know that might sound weird and you might go but, but then they do not love me, but then, they’re not, unconditionally supporting me. Let’s just take an example, let’s say I was doing drugs. I started doing cocaine or meth; I became a meth addict or something like that, something crazy like just doing stupid, stupid, dumb things.

Ripping people off, lying, not having integrity, being dishonest. Now should my loving mirror come up and say on no you’re doing so great, that’s awesome, and you’re doing great! If they then they’re not much of a friend are they and they’re not a loving mirror. A true loving mirror is someone who kicks you in the pants and goes, what do you think you’re doing? You’re not, that’s not you, what the heck is that? Get your head out of your, you know what!

Are you with me on this? This is what we want from a loving mirror. We need a loving drill sergeant. My friend Scott is a great example of that, I mean he and I go at it, sometimes we’re just going right at it, the veins are bulging and we’re like no it’s like this, no it’s like this, and but you know, at the end we go okay and then we come out both stronger from that.

Author's Bio: 

On the night of October 20, 1997, a 30-year-old religious studies major named Noah St. John had an epiphany that changed his life. While attending a seminar, he suddenly realized the real, hidden reason so many smart, talented, motivated people stop themselves from success – and saw it had nothing to do with goal-setting, "motivation" or anything being taught in traditional success literature. That very night, with no formal education in business, Noah decided to form a company to teach people around the world the simple steps that remove the hidden barriers to success. Find out more at