Flirting. What is it? Why do we do it? How do we do it? When do we do it? Who do we it with? Why should we do it? Why don’t we do it? Why is it good? Where is best to do it? Why are some people better at it?

All the above questions begin with Who, What, Why, When, Where and How. All open ended questions which leave you to work out the answers, and it’s also a great place to start.

Why? Well because those that are best at flirting often ask predominantly open questions. Open questions get a conversation going without too much pressure, and they glean more information than closed questions such as, Are you? Do you? Can you? Will you? Because they invite more than a simple Yes, No or some other short answer.


Q: Are you enjoying yourself here?
A: Yes!

Q: Do you like this music?
A: No!

Q: Will you join me for a drink?
A: No thanks. I’m waiting for my husband.

So, smiling, making eye contact and asking open questions are all important for promoting conversation. We should be aware that, in Flirting, the significance of body language is paramount.

How many people realize that, upon meeting someone new, we have 10 to 20 seconds to make a favourable first impression.? After that, we have five minutes, approximately, to confirm and establish a positive relationship. Not only do we form our opinions over such a short period of time, but our conclusions are drawn not from what a person says, but 95% of our insights are derived from non-verbal communication.

Remember that humans are still, biologically, animals. Homo sapiens is a species of primate, a hairless ape that has learned to walk on two limbs, and has a clever, advanced brain. Like any other species, we are dominated by biological rules that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. The fascinating thing is that the human animal is rarely aware of the postures, movements and gestures that can tell one story while his voice may be telling another. Now that an understanding of this important component in human behaviour is available to us, however, we can start to use it to ease and improve our social relationships with others. We can use it to understand the responses of others and to improve our chances of success in sales, business, and in encounters with the opposite sex.

The most frequently asked question is, what gestures and bodily movements do people use to communicate desire for involvement?

Flirting in all its manifestations, and applications, is based on a range of male and female courtship signals, some are studied and deliberate, some are given completely unconsciously. The more conscious the understanding of these signals is, the more successful is the flirting activity likely to be in producing its desired outcome. Researchers generally agree that the verbal channel is used primarily to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used for negotiating interpersonal attitudes, and in some cases is used as a substitute for verbal messages. For example, a woman can give a man a ‘look to kill? and will convey a very clear message to him without opening her mouth.

Regardless of culture, words and movements occur together with such predictability that one authority says that an observer trained in body language should be able to tell what movements a man is making by listening to his voice. The same authority learned to tell what language a subject was speaking simply by watching his gestures. The “language?of courtship and flirting is no different. Once we have studied it, we can not fail to recognize it and successfully utilize it.

At www. Bodylanguage you will find a web site where Smartraining offers a variety of unique courses and programmes, videos, tapes and books. These explore the world of body language, and harness its power for improving your performance in sales, management and interpersonal relations. There’s even a course on the use of body language in flirting.

Standing too close? Not maintaining eye contact? Unable to read the signs of that flick of the hair, the exposed wrist? Spot the preening gestures? The foot and body pointed at the one found most attractive? There are many more signs to read. In the interpersonal zone and the business zone, Smartraining offers, in association with worldwide expert in body language, Allan Pease, an unmatched range of training packages and personal development materials built on the fundamentals of body language research.

With the new century a new kind of social scientist is emerging, one who watches and interprets the non-verbal cues and signals of human beings. An understanding of the language of these cues is the key to a better understanding of ourselves, and presents a dramatic opportunity to improve our success and our relationship with others. Who Is Allan Pease?

Allan is a world renowned author having five No. 1 best-selling books to his credit including the classic multi-million seller 'Body Language' which has been translated into 32 languages. He has appeared on television and radio throughout the world and is creator and host of a top rating TV series on Body Language. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts (London), Fellow of the Institute of Management and Fellow of the Lifewriters Association. He holds the CSP designation from the National Speakers Association in Australia and the USA. In conjunction with Smartraining, Allan brings to you, or your organisation, the benefits of our unmatched expertise in body language. Nowhere else is there a collection of advanced training and understanding like this. The range of courses is listedon our web site. Who are SMARtraining? SMARTraining brings together a unique portfolio of the world’s leading experts in personal development and sales and management training. We provide In House as well as Open public courses and seminars spanning a wide range of business and personal development applications. Through strategic agreements with our business partners we deliver some of the very best training available in the world today.

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