Shake Hands and Know !

Our behaviour is a path to our inner self . How we behave in differentcircumstances gives indication of what we are , what we are thinking , whatour normal and transient nature is . Any of our expressions can be traced toour nature and can be a rich source of information . Walking , talking ,combing hair , standing , sleeping , sitting , looking and shaking hands allare such expressions . Shaking hands is an accepted ritual of greetingpeople . If we closely observe the process of shaking hands it can give usplethora of information .

Let us first understand the mechanism of shaking hands . While you areshaking hands please stand steady with a distance of about half meter inbetween your feet , back straight and look at the newcomer in the eye in afriendly way . Try to take in the friend as a whole at a glance. Notice asmany things about him as possible - like at the first level his height ,body posture , girth , weight distribution , hair density , age , color ,thickness of limbs , color and texture of clothes , fitting of the dress .At second level you can notice the facial expression , body condition liketautness , perspiration and smell . At the third level you may notice theexpression in the eyes .

As you offer to shake hands , do not overextend . Stand at a distance ofabout one meter from the other person , and extend your hand bent at elbow .Let him extend his hand rest of the way . Hold his hand in a grip that feelsnatural to you.

Now we come to the awareness part . The awareness here has to be throughfeeling alone. Some of the points which you need to be aware of are - Is hishand so big that it covers all of your palm ? Is his hand particularly small? Are the fingers long or short ? How is the thumb placed on the hand ? Arethe fingers fleshy , devoid of flesh , knotty , just too thick , or lean ?How is the texture of the hand ? It is rough on the surface and soft belowor rough throughout or soft throughout ? How is the texture of the nails ?Are the nails smooth or opening up ? Are the nails bitten roughly at theends ? How is the hand grip ? Does he offer the base of the palm or gripsyour hand by his fingers alone ? Is his thumb only is doing the holding job? Does his palm just lie in your grip , or he squeezes softly ? Is the griploose , tight , impatient or assuring ? Is his palm sweating or cold or warm? Can you feel his pulse ? These are some of the areas you can be aware of .

Do not be in a hurry to let go the hand . Shake the hand up and down . Easeup and take a better grip. Then smile and let the hand go .

I know the question at the top of your mind which you want to ask . Whatdoes it all mean ? I have observed myself , I have observed the other personat all the three levels , I stood in the position you told me to and shookhands with the person in the way you suggested . I have gathered all thedata . How do I squeeze information from all the data I have gathered ?


All the data we have collected is relative and subjective data . It isrelative to us and subjective to the extent our thinking and relatingpattern . For example if I am very soft spoken person , I will feel everyonearound talks in a loud voice . I am timid , I will feel everyone around isaggressive . And so on. Everything I perceive is relative to my frame ofreference.

Thus the handshake is a multipurpose tool . We can understand the otherperson well when we understand ourselves better . The handshake tells youthe kind of relationship you may be able to strike up with the next person .It talks about relationship and not about relative . ( Rishtedary is known ,not necessarily the rishtedar . ) . It also tells you what kind of behaviorwill be welcome by the next person and if you are upto it .

Make a habit of shaking hands all around with proper awareness . Shakinghands with number of people will also start putting together the pieces ofthe jig saw called you . This will allow you to know yourselves better ,have information about others and build bridges all around .

A ready reckoner table is given below for just about whetting your appetitein the subject. The table is not absolute nor final and needs to be usedwith proper care and caution .

The ready reckoner is based on extremes . This is management by exceptions .What is exceptional we are taking note of . Thus we do not have muchexplanation for medium grip but have one for loose grip or exceptionallystrong grip . As we go along in the study of hand shaking , the extremes canbe shrunk substantially and the middle area too starts making substantialcontribution .

Big hand shows an eye for details , managerial person , methodical worker .Small hand shows big plans , visionary and imaginative nature , working byleaps and bounds .

Long fingers shows that the person takes time to think things out or to takedecisions . It also shows lack of action or active energy .Short fingers show short fuse , temperamental personBulging phalanges show happy go lucky materialistic existence , possessiveperson .

Perspiration shows high strung natureStrong grip shows possessiveness and powerFingers only grip shows superficial relationship or doubts aboutrelationship .

Author's Bio: 

Anand K. Ghurye is a Mumbai based Holistic Management Consultant and Growthand Development trainer. Simplifying work , enriching life and energisingrelationships are his major focus areas . He hosts group programs and alsotakes part in individual counselling . He is associated with Network of WellBeing , an organization dedicated to enriching life through self observationand self awareness and Vishnugupta Pratishthan , an association forResponsibility Economics .

He actively promotes application of Jyotish and Synetics to day to day life .He can be reached at