Grief intensifies the emotions we are feeling. Life can be stressful and grief intensifies the stress. Pressure builds inside. When the tension seems to have reached our ultimate pressure point, escape is often sought.

How do you escape from the pain and the exhaustion of grief? Perhaps you pour yourself a glass of wine or have a beer. You may relieve stress through jogging or other strenuous exercise. Or you may choose to zone out in front of the TV or computer. You may go shopping.

There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these activities. It is more about your intention for getting involved in the activity. If you are engaging in activities as an escape from your emotions or inner conflict, you probably need to step back and honestly take a closer look at what is going on.

Grief can cloud our lives and our judgment. What I am talking about here is a persistent cloudiness which is continually fed through repeated attempts to escape the pain of loss rather than honestly acknowledging the uncomfortable feelings.

The solution to grief is not found in repeated attempts to escape grief. The solution to moving beyond grief is honest acknowledgement of feelings and being present in the moment. Grief hurts, but grief can heal. Attempts to escape the pain really keep the griever stuck in the pain cycle. The present moment brings clarity and healing.

Author's Bio: 

Sandy Clendenen lost her husband and best friend in 1999, after twenty-one years of marriage. Her grief process was lengthy and complex. Sandy felt stuck in layers of unresolved grief. As part of her heaing, Sandy filled numerous journals with her thoughts and feelings. A review of these journals several years later revealed insights into the grief process which Sandy is now committed to sharing with other grievers. Sandy attended seminary for 3 years. She also received her Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology. Sandy has also worked in various areas of hands on healing. Sandy incorporates her vast personal experience and education into her grief coaching products and services.

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Sandy Clendenen is The Official Guide to Grief and Bereavement.