If you've seen the classic cult movie "Swingers", then you probably remember the part where the guys are discussing how long a guy should wait to call a woman after he's gotten her phone number.
The scene really hits home for a lot of guys because it gets down to a real-world situation that we all confront and ponder.
The more I've thought about it, the more I realize that this particular question (and the answer to it) are part of a bigger, more important CONCEPT about how to deal with women.
When a guy asks me "How long should I wait to call her?" this immediately tells me a few of things:
1) The guy doesn't feel like he's in control of the situation. If he felt like he was in control, then it he wouldn't ask, because it wouldn't matter.
2) The guy doesn't really "get" how male/female attraction works. If he did get it, then he'd be thinking in those terms rather than trying to figure out the exact best amount of time to wait before calling.
To put it differently, the "when do I call her back?" problem is part of a bigger concept, and once you understand that bigger concept better, then you'll have an automatic feel for when to call a woman back.
Most guys don't "get" one simple point:
If you want a woman to feel ATTRACTION for you, then you must behave differently than if you want her to feel that "just friends" feeling.
In the world of ATTRACTION, things are completely different.
For instance, our moms taught all of us guys to "be nice" to women. This usually includes being sweet and complimentary when first meeting them, answering all of their questions directly, and giving them what they want when they want it.
But if you want a woman to feel that INSTANT GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION right from the beginning, then you're going to have to put aside this kind of thinking, and start learning some NEW ideas.
For instance:
1) A challenge is generally attractive to women.
2) Teasing and being evasive is generally attractive to women.
3) Making fun of a woman's appearance in a flirty way, as counter-intuitive as it might sound, can lead to ATTRACTION.
I'm trying to communicate the idea that when you're dealing with ATTRACTION, you have to put aside old "normal" ways of thinking and behaving.
I would like to mention one more point before getting into the specifics here...
These days, people are becoming very sensitive to having "techniques" used on them.
If a salesman uses a sales technique on us, we immediately get defensive and resistant.
If a panhandler asks for money in a way that smells of "technique" we pass them by without pity.
If a business treats us like a "thing" or a number instead of an individual person, we avoid them or buy elsewhere.
We humans don't like having manipulation techniques used on us, and when we detect that someone or something is using one to get the better of us, we resist.
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