If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.” - H.G.

Fear can actually be a stepping stone in our growth And while I'm not a horse whisperer , I am a thinker. Here's how I got there. I've now had the dubious distinction of coming off all the mares. Most times are due to spooks and I just didnt keep the balance.. I wasnt aware enough of the warning signs. And then there's the most recent one when Patrick's dog Jack took off after a rabbit. Picken didnt spook at hte rabbit, but rather I was riding left at a trot and looked over right A combination of my shifting balance and her opposite direction. She was expecting one thing and I offered another - inadvertently. And she wasnt having any of it.

And Picken just stood there waiting for me, ears pricked forward. As we looked at each other, I realized that if I got on her and asked got going again, she’d do it: IF I started doing my share of the work load. Horses are an ongoing lesson in "be here now" I readjusted her saddle and dusted myself off , checked her condition and remounted. Picken had waited for me. She hadn’t gone high-tailing up the road She was standing there waiting for me. Waiting for me to get a clue, but still–waiting. For me. So where am I?

1. Im nervous about falling and getting hurt again. [This is where you look sympathetic and say, “So, you must have had a really bad fall and broken a lot of bones or something, right?” And I look sheepish and say, “No, not exactly.” While I hate to justify the constant small but naggingly painful muscle injury periods I go through, everyone understands a broken bone.
2. The fear is not the problem. Anyone who thought twice about jumping would be afraid because… really, now. While my degree of fear is probably a bit irrational, there’s nothing particularly shameful in admitting that jumping is dangerous.
3. The problem is that I don’t address that fear.

So I should just address it right? Ah. But there’s a catch. You didn t think it was that easy!:

So… if I force myself to address my fear and Or but in the meantime do I ride in "safe" places etc., I continue my passive non-addressing of my fear issues, which leaves me exactly where I am now.

The third possibility, of course, is that I overthink these things and I’m a psychologist’s dream come true. I've been accused of this plenty. But avoidance is an appraoch that clearly doesnt work for me.. .I know i'm dogging it.

So what do we do when a horse gets the best of us? Whether it's a bad spill or a "dust 'em off and get back on", again an ongoing lesson with horses(and in life) is that control is an illusion. At the risk of interjecting faith based preaching, I believe G-d is ultimately in control.

What I've discovered is that coping with fear is just another part of learning to ride. I know that having Picken as a first horse for a green rider, I've learned so much more than if Alle 'd been my first horse; though definitely would have been a smarter choice. If you are facing this issue, there is hope and help available.

It also helps to be blessed with coaches that understand and guide and I can speak "of the heart to". Patrick's particularly great in knowing how far to push me , that it's a stretch and achievable. And wow.. it's such a great feeling to be on the pathway of stepping stones to ever greater successes. I also recommend really highly Susan Jeffers Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway. It's one of those books that you can read and again and again and glean something new.

Share share my fears and I stopped trying to face them by myself, I slowly began to find that although I was still scared, my fears didn’t seem to scare me as much any more. I find the strength to face my fears by admitting I was scared.That’s the secret. We are all scared, just like Pooh. But when we tell people about our fears, those fears seem a lot smaller. So off
You can start right now. Try taking one small fear, doesn’t matter what it is, and write it down. If you want, you can share it by writing about it in the comments after this post. Write down whatever comes to mind when you think of the fear. Give it a try. I will bet that you will notice a difference, even if you only write about a “little” fear

Achieving goals often requires a determined spirit, sweat, and energy well beyond what we think is possible. I'm learning... "patience grasshopper"

So where are you afraid of falling?

Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

Christopher Robin to Pooh - A. A. Milne - Winnie the Pooh

Author's Bio: 

Transplanted New Yorker running a bed and breakfast in Montana Visit us at the Fish Creek House. www.fishcreekhouse.com