It is important to begin to realize that our personality is just like our body. It is not our true self, but rather a vehicle, or "mental body", through which our true self, the soul, is expressing itself. We tend to be more detached from our physical bodies than from our «emotional body» or «personality body».

For example, we would not reject someone because he has gallstones, a malfunctioning kidney, high blood pressure, a broken leg or cancer. We accept these physical weakness as natural and as no reason to reject someone or withdraw our love or approval.

On the other hand, we do tend to reject people when they are lazy, negative, egotistical, fearful, weak, jealous, angry or aggressive. What we need to understand is that these emotional weaknesses are no different than our physical weaknesses. They are a natural part of our limited temporal existence in these physical and emotional bodies.

You may be interested to know that the legs, which most personalities have broken in their childhood years and seldom mend completely, even though many years have passed, are the legs called «self-confidence» and «self acceptance» or «self esteem». When these emotional legs are broken in childhood by, perhaps well meaning but often ignorant, parents and teachers, that person’s personality manifests a number of negative traits, which require understanding, love and help in mending, rather than rejection or criticism.

Having a "jealousy problem" or a “laziness problem” is like having a «liver problem». It is not reason for rejecting ourselves or others. We do, however, want to see what is causing it, so that we can cure it. In the same way, it makes no sense to reject ourselves or others for being weak, or fearful, or aggressive. The most useful approach would be to recognize that this problem exists, and try to find the cause within ourselves and others.

The next time we recognize some weakness or negative trait within ourselves or others, rather than criticize and reject, let us remember what we have said here, and think «my personality has a broken leg», or «his personality has a broken leg». Then let us ask what we can do to help ourselves or the other, mend our legs.

Remember this simple truth concerning yourself and others.



There is a spiritual truth which claims that everything which has occurred and which is occurring at this moment was and is perfect. The future we do not know. But once the future has become the present, then that too is perfect.

On the other hand, we see so much obvious imperfection, so many mistakes, so many things which seem to be wrong and need to be corrected both in ourselves and in the world around us. How can these apparently contradictory perceptions both be true?

The idea of a half-completed painting may help us. The painting is not finished and thus it is not yet in its perfected form. It is in the process of being perfected, of being completed. We know that it is not completed because consciously or subconsciously we know that it can be much more than it presently is. But we do not reject the painting because it is not yet what it will be. We do not say that it is wrong or unacceptable. We simply perceive it as incomplete and we get on with the process of completing it.

Let us then imagine ourselves, our personalities and the personalities of those around us to be half-finished paintings. Let us imagine the general state of the society and world around us to be a painting in process.

Yes there are many weaknesses, faults and aspects to be improved in those paintings. But they are perfect in their incomplete state. A painting must pass through a series of stages until it is finally completed. Each of these stages is a perfect part of that process of completion. No stage could be skipped or avoided.

Thus we and those around us are perfect at every stage of that process of becoming perfected. We and everything around us are perfect at this stage in the process of perfection. Even our imperfections are the perfect temporary part of our movement towards perfection. Thus, when we imagine ourselves and others as unfinished paintings we will have patience and understanding for our weaknesses and faults seeing them as parts of our being which need to be worked on in the process of manifesting the perfect being which is waiting latent within us to become a reality.

Enjoy your work on the paintings which you presently call
your personality and your life.

Author's Bio: 

Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has created a Life Coach Training Course over the Internet. Info at: is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks, guidance and teleclasses at His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology are available at