Spirituality Saves Marriages

“One word frees us from all the weight and pain of life. That word is love. - Sophocles

Marriage is a sacred experience, our personal core of divinity. A vibrant marriage is a powerful force for personal growth. Unselfish love is enjoyed and generated in a spiritually compatible union. Mastering the lessons of valuing each other, kindness, and treasuring the gift of the union creates a spiritual connection. By allowing the spiritual essence of the bond to lead the relationship instead of the demands of individual egos, couples can engage in relationships that foster reverence and respect.

Love based on soul and spirit has an intelligence of its own. Soul-centered love is passionate love. Passion is ultimately a spiritual connection, which keeps the physical passion ignited. Spiritual compatibility isn’t measured by how often you attend religious services. Mutual core beliefs are vital to the long-term survival of your relationship.

The ability to share spiritual thoughts, beliefs, and concerns is vital to spiritual connection. Spiritual growth is a unique experience for each individual, so compatibility should not be measured by comparing each other’s stage of spiritual development. However, it is necessary that you support and help each other along the path of divine development. You are in each other’s life for healing and expanded spiritual awareness.

Common structures of marital spirituality

Marriage urges each person in the partnership to live up to his or her faith, each holding the other accountable. The fundamental structural elements of marital spirituality are as follows:

• Togetherness. Marriage is a shared walk in faith. Through collective life experiences, marriage provides the means to start together or continue the search for God. Togetherness provides armor as a couple strives to follow Christ and practice kindness. Together they share ideas about spirituality and bring meaning to their beliefs. They pray for each other, as they are sent into the world to bring light and love to others. The spirit of the marriage emphasizes the strength of the union, which builds over time. Partners learn to appreciate and respect each other’s individuality and do not wish to make each other a creation of idealized dreams and projections.

• Reconciliation. Wherever people live their lives together in such an intensive process as marriage, there will be conflict, quarrels, and confrontation. This means that reconciliation and the willingness to start anew and to endure and accept each other is of greater importance within marriage. It is one of the most important focal points in marital spirituality.

• Faithfulness. Marriage aims at lifelong fidelity in which one partner accepts the other unconditionally. In this sense, marital spirituality is a spirituality of fidelity and a symbol of the union.

• Marriage spirituality is living God’s love. Marriage invites people to discover and live the love of God through their mutual love. In addition, reciprocal love realizes itself physically embodied in the language of love. Spouses are called to see and discover in visible signs and actions of their love for each other.

A mutual belief in God is essential to long-term relationship survival as is the ability to communicate and discuss your beliefs. Do you envision a relationship where you can pray for each other as well as pray together? To be spiritually compatible is to be comfortable sharing all aspects of your belief system with each other, without holding back. A spiritually compatible relationship encourages the growth and expansion of awareness of God in each other’s lives, which strengthens the spiritual muscles of the union. Life will provide tests both individually and as a couple, and a shared belief in God will clear the path toward understanding during these times.

Prosperity is easy on a relationship but turbulence tests the strength of your bond. However, the closeness gained as a couple during trying times solidifies your relationship. With a mutual agreement on beliefs, your shared spiritual reservoir will deepen your relationship.

Spirituality encompasses behavior, morality, and basic values. Consider what is important to you in regard to your spiritual growth. Define spirituality in terms of how you honor and live your convictions day after day. Spiritual growth does not necessarily include a dedication to a particular church or attending services on a regular basis, but it can include all aspects of church life, Bible study, reading Scriptures, reading inspirational material, meditation, and prayer. The important issue to remember is to stay true and dedicated to your journey.
Knowing what convictions are important to you and your partner and what will and will not block spiritual growth as an individual and within the relationship is important for spiritual growth. Mutual beliefs, viewpoints, and spiritual experiences should be shared and discussed with each other on a regular basis. As the relationship grows and develops, deeper beliefs will emerge, changing life perspectives. The knowledge each one gains from the other will provide growth opportunities as a couple.

My husband and I were raised Catholic but he was drawn to exploring different denominations as part of his spiritual journey. He found a local Baptist church and started attending their services on a regular basis. He gets a spiritual charge after hearing the sermons each week from the charismatic preacher. When we first started dating, I did not attend services often but had no desire to explore a different denomination. I was on a spiritual journey to expand my awareness of God and His purpose for my life, but kept organized religion and spirituality separate. I derived much comfort and peace when I attended Catholic masses because they reminded me of happy memories from childhood. I did not believe my interest in strengthening my spiritual muscles needed an organized religion behind it, so it did not bother me that I was not inspired after the church services. The content feeling I experienced from sitting in the church was all I needed and wanted.

At the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I attended the Baptist church almost exclusively, only attending my Catholic church on holidays. After a while, I admitted to myself how much I missed going to mass at the Catholic Church and finally got the nerve to express my feelings. So we compromised. One week we would attend worship services at his church, the next week we would attend mass at my church. That resolution was short lived. My husband really wanted to go to his church, with or without me.

I was initially upset because my sense of fairness and compromise was disrupted. After I calmed down, I looked at my personal spiritual journey and evaluated the importance of attending Catholic Church services. I found that my priority concerning religion had changed after I got married. The most important aspect of attending church now was sharing that experience with my husband, not revisiting childhood memories.

Creating a spiritual center in your marriage takes conscious and continuous effort from both partners. The solid spiritual foundation you begin today will strengthen your love and commitment to each other and will serve your relationship during all times.