Soul Mates

Soul mates. The phrase conjures up visions of that perfect someone—the one and only one. THE perfect mate. The one with whom we have spent many lifetimes together. That one person who knows us inside out, who will make every dream come true, who will be the perfect mate. This person will be so tuned-in to us that we will never need to communicate our needs or desires—they will be met as part of our relationship—and we will live happily ever after. In What Happens After You Find Your Soulmate? Susie and Otto Collins explain that, “You still must face your personal challenges but if you're conscious and awake, you can realize that you have a powerful ally to walk beside you on your path to enlightenment.”

Each of us is curious about our soul mate, with questions such as, Who is my soul mate? Am I with my soul mate? Should I be looking for my soul mate? Is he/she looking for me? Is he/she available? We have many soul mates. During each and every lifetime we have created attachments to people who are our soul mates. Even in this lifetime, we are creating relationships with people who will be our future soul mates, like Kevin and Winnie in The Wonder Years. [I thought those two souls found each other.]

Kevin and Winnie grew up, went their separate ways, found soul mates from previous lives, the ones they needed to spend this lifetime with in order to work out the karma they created with them. But, who knows, in some future lifetime…maybe their next? Thomas Moore in SoulMates put it this way, “If it evokes eternity, then the friendship itself remains in imagination for endless time, even if the personal relationship does not.”

So, who is this special ONE that we want to share our lives with? In Only Love Is Real, Brian Weiss’s description is this: “There is someone special for everyone. Often there are two or three, or even four. They come from different generations. They travel across oceans of time and the depths of heavenly dimensions to be with you again. They come from the other side, from heaven. They look different, but your heart knows them. You are bonded together throughout eternity and you will never be alone.”

How romantic! We will never be alone. Does that mean that we will be in ecstasy 365 days of the year? Not necessarily. We don’t always choose a soul mate who will give us unconditional love and understanding. The soul reincarnates time and time again on a quest for spiritual growth. Its ultimate goal is nirvana. To achieve ever-lasting peace we need to learn to love and accept each other. We come to the earth plane to learn and to teach each other. The universe gives us many opportunities, many roles to play, including partners, to achieve this goal. Jean Shinoda Bolen, The Myth of Eros & Psyche, “To be in the Garden of Eden, or to be in Psyche’s valley with Eros, is to be in an unconscious and blissful place. Life is not about staying unconscious and in bliss. Life is about experiencing reality, actualizing our potential selves in the process of going through life that always includes suffering. Consciousness often sets us on a journey.”

Remember Rhett Butler, Scarlet O’Hara, and Ashley Wilkes? What lessons were they learning? What karma were they creating? Scarlet and Ashley found one another in this lifetime and vowed to be together. However, Ashley found a soul mate with whom he chose to share his current life, leaving Scarlett false hope to believe that one day they would be together. Well, as we all found out, not in that lifetime. Apparently Ashley was not completely honest with Scarlett (nor, possibly, himself). It was only after Scarlett was finally freed from the clutches of an imaginary love did she realize that Rhett was the soul mate with whom she should have shared that lifetime. By then, it was too late. Rhett, who loved Scarlett so, set her free. I wonder how these souls will reincarnate? Will Scarlett return searching for Rhett, the soul who understands and loves her? Will Rhett meet Scarlett, recall the pain, and back off, choosing not to commit to a relationship with her? Will Ashley travel the world looking for Scarlett, so that he can make it up to her?

Dr. Mark Pitstick, in Spiritual Relationships, states, “The issue of relationships becomes very interesting when we remember we each are Eternal Souls. Relationships are not coincidental or unimportant. Think of the thousands of persons we encounter in our lifetimes; why do we form close and lasting relationships with one person but not another?”

Life on earth is not a honeymoon. We are not meant to share every lifetime with one special soul. Instead, we seek out souls with whom we need to work out karmic issues so that we can evolve spiritually. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could choose souls with whom we can truly enjoy earthly life?