Our communications and interactions with others can be weakened by both our verbal communications as well as our non-verbal communications. The use of inappropriate language, for example, can send the listener the message that you don’t have a good command of language and thus also weaken the message you are attempting to send. This example also holds true in our use of body language.

Inappropriate body language has the potential of actually damaging our communications, not to mention damaging our image and reputation. Let’s take for example, the young man who, while talking to someone he just met, has his hand constantly holding the crotch of his pants. This is absolutely not appropriate body language, especially if the young man is talking with a woman. In fact it is highly disrespectful! This type of body language not only weakens the young man’s communications, it destroys his image in the eyes of the other, thus ending any the success of further interactions. Many young men today habitually walk around
with their hands placed over their crotch area, especially in the larger cities of America, and then they wonder why they can’t attract a good woman. Many women they would want to attract have zero tolerance for this behavior!

Even hands clasped tightly together or stuffed into pants pockets weaken our communications. Hands clasped tightly together send the message that you are tense and nervous about something, whatever that something is. If you are tense or nervous about something then you are not totally involved with what the speaker is saying, or if you are the speaker it send the message that you are insecure about what you are saying. In both instances it weakens the conversation and interaction.

Keeping your hands in the pockets, while you are interacting with someone, conveys a non-committal and aloof attitude. Most people when interacting with another person want signals of conversational commitment. Failure to commit yourself to the interaction will weaken it and cause it to end, possibly without you even being able to say a word. Moreover, an aloof attitude demonstrates a lack of interest in the interaction. If you are not interested in what the other has to say, they certainly are not going to be interested in what you have to say.

By the way, keeping the hands in the pockets is generally a male behavior, as very few women do this, if any. In both the military and court systems, within most cultures, this body language is strictly forbidden and can sometimes result in adverse consequences.

Phony body language can weaken a conversation as easily as any of the above mentioned. Phony body movements send messages indicating that you are artificial and unnatural, making you appear to be someone trying to be something other than yourself. This can weaken the interaction in the sense that if you are presenting yourself as artificial, then there is something fake about you, which then can lead to interpretations regarding your confidence and trustworthiness. Some politicians are coached about body language prior to making a presentation. Unfortunately, what happens sometimes is that, instead of blending the coaching in with their own natural body language, they apply all the coaching to the presentation as if it were their natural style. People want to interact with you, not someone else through you.

Annoying body movement, like toe tapping, knee bouncing, or touching your face are other ways to weaken your communications. Body languages such as these convey that you are nervous and impatience and that you are not concerned with details. Nervous energy, when not kept in check, will weaken just about any conversation. The nervous tics will distract your listener and so if they are focusing on that behavior they are bound to miss your message altogether.

Author's Bio: 

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog