Change. Every single one of us goes through a myriad of changes not only in our lives but in our day to day existences. Some changes are pretty small and insignificant. Perhaps your favorite coffee shop stopped carrying your preferred blend of java and you have to make another choice. Other changes are huge and life-altering. Moving to a new city, changing jobs, having a child, divorce, and death can radically alter the way you move about your life and even how you see yourself. Individuals usually adapt to and embrace changes, resist them, or somehow interweave embracing, adapting and resisting.

Within a love relationship change can be tricky and wonderful. Changes might mean a new start and a freshly sparked connection for the partners as they embrace a different way of being. Contrastingly, the couple might experience disconnection because of changes that may or may not be of their choosing. Particularly when one person in the relationship wants to make a particular change and the other resists that change, separation might be felt by both. No matter what the situation, you can experience changes in your life and relationship and end up feeling closer to your love.

Jack and Gwen moved to a new town a few months ago. Gwen, a doctor, was offered a great job at a bustling health clinic and she is excited to get to know the people and community that they now call home. Jack, on the other hand, has dragged his feet from the beginning. He is happy that Gwen has this wonderful career opportunity but he misses their old home which was located in a much larger city. Not only does he feel stifled by the smallness of this new town, it's been difficult for him to find a job. He's always felt a bit embarrassed to be married to a doctor when he did not attend college, and now those inferior feelings have re-surfaced and intensified. Both Jack and Gwen sense a growing distance between them as she settles in and he keeps thinking about ways to escape.

What's your attitude toward change?
Take a few moments to notice your usual attitude toward change. Do you tend to feel overwhelmed and out of control when changes happen in your life-- even they were self-chosen? Perhaps you thrive and often attract variations to the usual and you just don't see how anyone else has trouble with them. Knowing your own tendencies when it comes to change can help you find ease and patience (with yourself or others). If you do notice yourself falling apart when either unexpected or consciously sought out changes happen, make a list of tools you can use to help you embrace changes. Some find it helpful to meditate or make time for daily prayer to sail more easily through the ebbs and flows of life. Others maintain a certain routine such as a morning run or walk to even out the altered aspects of their new lives.

Jack realizes how much he hates change. In fact, when he thinks back to his childhood-- which included many moves-- he remembers how frightening it was to move to a new community and school and how withdrawn he'd become. This understanding allows Jack to put his current feelings into perspective and see how tied in they are with his past.

Open to the process.
Change is all about process. Initially, the new town and opportunities seemed promising to Jack. But when Gwen appeared to be thriving and he wasn't, the whole move took on a negative tinge and nothing about this new place pleased him. Those customary fears that accompanied the moves as he grew up came rushing back leaving Jack feeling withdrawn and helpless yet again.

Try to remind yourself that this new way of life will not always feel as it does now. Be clear about where you are in the present moment and what you want. There may be aspects of the change that you can alter to make it easier for you to adapt and even embrace what's going on. When Jack realizes that Gwen's higher salary allows him time and space to figure out what kind of job he wants, he finds some relief. He's no longer as focused on comparing himself (and his lack of education) to Gwen and then feeling resentful about it all. Instead, Jack is beginning to see that the opportunities for him may include a new job that is more pleasing. When he shifts his attitude and attention, the move seems less threatening and even inviting.

Tune in to how you feel about change. Be gentle with yourself and include activities that help bring ease to your life right now. Remember that everyone experiences change differently and be patient with your partner as well. You two can move closer together in the midst of change with gentleness and compassion.

Author's Bio: 

Susie and Otto Collins help people create more connected, loving relationships and are the authors of a new program Stop Talking on Eggshells To help you communicate during times of change, visit Relationship Reverse Report