Do you often feel agitated, angry or aggressive, or do you often feel 'shut-down' yet seething with anger on the inside? You may be suffering from an anger management problem.


Excessive anger and difficulty expressing anger is one of the most common complaints from clients in individual or relationship counselling. For most people anger management issues have a severe impact on their quality of life and also affect those around you, be it at work, socially or at home.

Anger is a powerful emotion which, if left unchecked, can lead to angry or abusive outbursts, to violent behaviour or to your shutting down as you try to protect others from your anger. We have several associated counsellors & psychologists based in Sydney with expertise in anger management counselling.

This page is designed to help you understand more about your anger and anger management counselling and to help you decide whether you would like to speak to a counsellor or psychologist about your anger issue.

(Naturally, if you feel that another person is at danger as a result of your anger issue, you should seek professional assistance immediately.)


According to Charles Spielberger, PhD, anger is “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage”. Feelings of anger, whether mild or extreme, can come about through external stimuli or be caused by something more internal. For example, you might be angry about the way your boss is treating you at work, or unable to manage your anger with your partner for not doing the dishes, or get angry because the traffic is bad, or your kid is whiny. These are all examples of anger caused by external events.

Alternatively, your anger might be caused by something going on internally - stress or anxiety are commonly linked to angry responses. Memories of traumatic events or infuriating circumstances can also trigger feelings of anger for some people.

Like all emotions, anger also has a physiological effect on the body – your heart rate goes up, as does your blood pressure. Your adrenaline and energy hormones also increase rapidly when you are angry. All these symptoms make anger management quite a difficult skill.

Some people reveal their angry emotions by raising their voices, swearing, throwing things, hitting objects or lashing out at strangers or loved ones. Others may be less conspicuous in their displays of anger, but may instead appear cranky, sulky or socially withdrawn. Anger management issues are among the most commonly reported problems in marriage and individual counselling.


People with anger management issues are generally considered to have a low tolerance for frustration – they do not respond well to inconvenience, nuisance or aggravation. They can become particularly infuriated if they feel wrongly done by, even if the instigating situation might appear fairly benign to others.

There is some evidence to suggest that some children are born irritable and easily angered. There are also cultural explanations which study the possibility that many cultures regard anger as a negative emotion, one which we are generally encouraged to suppress. As a result, some people don’t learn how to handle it well, or deal with it constructively.

Perhaps most significantly, family background is thought to be closely linked with the way one expresses anger. Often, people who have difficulty controlling their anger come from families who are chaotic, highly stressed, or who have difficulty dealing with emotion. The last example, being low in emotional inteligence, in this case means a family environment in which anger was not healthily expressed. Perhaps being angry was not permitted, or in other cases, mother or father would lash out in anger, or perhaps show a great degree of irritation when tired or stressed. People who experienced trauma or abuse as children often suffer from a high degree of uncontrollable anger and experience angry outbursts (which can seem to come out of nowhere).


Do you find that you:

* often or always feel angry,
* find that insignificant issues are making you mad,
* feel like your anger is out of control,
* feel aggressive towards your work colleagues, your family or your friends,
* are finding that your anger is having an impact on your relationships or other parts of your life.

If these symptoms are spoiling your full enjoyment of life, or are affecting those around you, then you may wish to consider anger management counselling.


Anger management counselling with a specialised psychologist or counsellor provides tools and methodologies to help people deal with their anger. Anger management counselling can help you calm down, and express your anger in positive and productive ways. Anger does not need to be aggressive, but we often need to learn how to be angry without it. Anger management counselling teaches you to make your needs clear and get what you want without being angry and without hurting others.

We all feel angry sometimes. It’s what you do with your anger and how you control those angry feelings, that is important if you wish to lead a balanced and fulfilling life.

Author's Bio: 

Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney are a group of therapist associates trained to help you work through your anger issues.

Anger Management Information & Psychologist & Counselling Therapists Sydney