Most of us dream about the perfect partner to share our life with. We search for our soul mate someone to adore us, someone who makes us laugh, and someone to understand us. What we do not realize is that this life-long search is actually a quest to feel whole within ourselves. We search outside of ourselves looking for those disowned parts of ourselves. When we feel whole and complete within ourselves, we have attained the Divine Marriage.
Yes, soul mates do exist, and we can have the perfect mate. However, it is much easier to look within ourselves and resolve the unloved places. When we have made peace within, we will feel whole. From this place, we can attract our equal. Some people are fortunate and will meet their soul mate before feeling complete within him/herself. Most of us will need to love the aspects of our inner male and female, creating the space for the inner marriage to thrive. Until we are able to embrace the divine masculine and feminine within us, we will always be searching outside of ourselves for the perfect mate. When our partner does something that irritates us, what are we being shown? What needs to happen inside? How do we make a change, so that our partner's thoughts, words, or actions, no longer bother us? Is it ever about them, or is it our reaction to their ways that need to be changed? What are we looking for when we make the vow to marry? What does it mean to have a lifetime partner? Are we looking for some external source of security? Do we want our partner to make us feel better? Do we truly want an equal in our lives? So often we want to meet our soul mate to share the rest of our lives. But does this really work?
When we bring an equal into our lives, we have to be willing to be strong enough in ourselves to want stop playing all the games. We need to be able to share in each other's life work and dreams. Are we able to see the divine in each other always and stop the pettiness of “he said, she said" or whatever the pattern may be? We need to take a deeper look at the reasons we marry. Most marriages are commenced from a place of woundedness. Oftentimes we misinterpret a “connection" with someone and believe that this person is our soul mate, when in reality, we shared a strong connection at the time that we came together because we matched each other energetically in our soul's evolution. This does not mean that we will always have the same resonance with each other. A vow of marriage should not be a death sentence to the soul. It ought to be a liberation. We have been accustomed to believe that we must uphold our vow of marriage beyond all else. It seems quite ridiculous if what we yearn for is happiness and we are unable to come to terms with our partner's patterns and ways of being. Is it really better for us to stay together for the sake of the children or because we made a vow of marriage than to be happy? Think about what we are creating with this belief system. We need to put "the martyr" to rest and allow ourselves to be happy.
There is nothing wrong with separating when two people have grown apart and need to take different journeys. Follow the way of the heart and all will benefit in the long run. Sometimes we feel a strong connection with someone that could possibly be this person mirroring back our own soul. Maybe this person knows how to match us energetically and he/she can show us our true selves. Most of us have learned how to be a chameleon by adapting to the environment around us. When we meet someone who is great at this, we feel as if we have a strong connection. Our partner may be able to read our mind very early on in the relationship. This can give us the illusion that we have a strong connection, when in truth it is simply his/her ability to pick up on what we want to hear.
The Divine Marriage on the inner plane is what we are looking for. It is the marriage of our masculine and feminine energies that create balance within ourselves. We feel a sense of deep peace when we feel this alignment with our soul. Everything becomes easy and filled with grace as we realize our oneness with all that is. We are in the flow and recognize the synchronicity of every moment. We feel at ease as we deepen our connection with Source, giving us the freedom to know that everything is happening exactly as it needs to. When we live from this place, we will bring this into our external marriage. Having broken the inner walls of illusion, we will have the space to manifest this Divine Union.
We need to be in resonance with ourselves first and then bring this into our marriage. From this place, we become the living example for those around us. The more people who are able to create this Divine Marriage, the more peace we will have on the planet. From this place, we have infinite possibilities available to us. If you have not quite reached this Divine Marriage and have taken the vow of marriage, understand that what you are looking for is to feel whole within yourself.
Allow your marriage to support you. Listen attentively to your partner without judgment and see what this person is showing you. Whether it is a good time or challenging one, you can listen to your partner to find deeper pieces for your own evolution. Put down your sword and choose your battles. Ask yourself if what you are upset about is really worth a discussion or is it some old wound within yourself that you need to heal. If you have a special relationship or soul mate connection, nurture it and be at peace. If you are still working on attaining this connection and feel your relationship warrants your effort, then proceed forward with love and willingness to change. It will take both parties having a desire and commitment to keep this relationship alive and unfolding.

Author's Bio: 

Kellyna Kaleolani Campbell is an internationally known workshop leader who has been seen on cable TV with “Positive Living TV” and has been heard across the country on AM talk radio and FM conscious living radio shows. She has worked with teenagers as a sponsor for Unity Church, mentored teens through a Colorado based program, “Let’s Go Live”, and has taught personal growth courses at Sonoma State University and Questa College. Her education includes UCSC (BS), Naropa Institute, International Breath Institute (CBF), California College of Physical Arts (CMT) and Colorado Cranial Institute (CCT). She has committed her life to the path of healing through study and practice. As an intuitive healer with a beautiful heart, Kellyna encourages people to look within themselves to discover their soul’s purpose. Contact information- www.9innerjewels.com