"Divorce Reasons; What Constitutes A Viable Reason For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?"

According to the Center for Disease Control's National
Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages
ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce.
But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of
Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and
almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is a
life long commitment. I imagine that there are somewhat
similar statistics worldwide.

With these kinds of statistics, its easy to see how
complex it can be when people think they want a divorce,
they have difficulty identifying how a truly viable
divorce reason might be defined. Wanting happiness through
marriage and wrestling with what may seem an inevitable
outcome (a divorce), can be emotionally and mentally
challenging. After all, it is human nature to want to feel
nurtured and secure, no matter where you live!

So, if you're thinking about getting a divorce, what are
truly viable reasons for actually getting a divorce?

Each government has different laws defining the difference
between 'fault' and 'no-fault' divorce reasons that have
enough merit that allow for the divorce to be granted.
While it makes sense for you to keep this in mind when
deciding whether or not to get a divorce because there may
be financial considerations to think of, you should first
focus on defining your own emotional or "personal" divorce
reasons, regardless of what the local governing body says.

If you ask 100 people how they define viable reasons for
wanting a divorce, you'll most likely get 100 different
answers because they'll answer you from their perspective,
not yours. Sure, there may be similarities to the way you
feel in some of those answers about 'real' divorce
reasons, you may even agree with some. But, the real
answers to this question can only come from you. You have
to figure out what reason or reasons would be viable in
your mind in order to actually go through your decision
about getting a divorce or staying married.

Some reasons that people give for getting a divorce, or
wanting a divorce, are purely selfish and have no
substance. An example of a reason for wanting a divorce
that has no substance is not liking the fact that your
spouse has constant unfounded jealousy. There is a deeper
problem that exists here, and in the case of this example,
it could be that the spouse who constantly feels jealousy
has a confidence problem or some sort of 'fear of loss'.

Whatever the case, the divorce reason in this example
clearly isn't viable and should relatively easy to fix.

Often times when people give 'surface' or flimsy reasons
for wanting a divorce, they really have much deeper
feelings about something and they're just using the
shallow divorce reason as an avoidance of some kind. Or,
they give these 'foundation-less' reasons for wanting a
divorce because they actually aren't aware that there are
other deeper rooted reasons that are the cause of the way
they feel now.

Common reasons that cause people to think about or want to
get a divorce:

*Couple has conflicting personal beliefs

*Couple’s marital satisfaction decreases

*Desertion

*Adultery

*Cruel treatment

*Bigamy

*Imprisonment

*Spousal Indignities

*Institutionalization

*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind

Of course, you should add your own reasons to the list for
wanting a divorce, better yet, make your own list. Solid
divorce reasons for wanting or going through a divorce
usually come from some sort of occurrence, behavioral
pattern, and/or change in the viewpoint of the marriage
itself.

In order to really make a smart decision, you should first
list the reasons that you have for wanting a divorce, then
examine those divorce reasons for true viability. Then
come back to it that list in a day or so. Chances are you
will be able to scratch a few of those reasons for wanting
a divorce off the list because they were identified purely
from an emotional viewpoint rather than logic.

If you are thinking about getting a divorce, and haven't
clearly identified what reasons you have for feeling the
way you do, you'll be doing yourself a 'dis-service' if
you act without carefully examining the viability each
designated divorce reason. Everyone has their own reasons
for wanting a divorce, make sure that you are certain that
your reasons are truthfully viable to you before you act
on them.