Feeling Disconnected From Husband After Baby: Relationship With Husband After Baby

If the sizzle has gone out of your relationship with your spouse, restoring intimacy in marriage should be near the top of your priority list. A sexless marriage is usually a marriage headed for disaster.

Intimacy issues are a leading cause of divorce. Just look at all the resources aimed at helping couples improve their sex lives. From explicit video courses to Christian marriage books, the subject is always in demand.

So what can you do when faced with a marriage that seems to have lost it's passion? Well, every situation is different but these 3 steps should help most couples who are missing the intimacy in marriage.

1- Grit your teeth and accept the situation for a little longer while you try to figure out the real cause of the problem. You need to be able to stay calm and discuss the issue with your spouse. Listen to their viewpoint and be willing to take action if there is something you can do to improve the situation. It will not help the problem for you to play the victim, even if you feel like your spouse is to blame for the lack of intimacy in your relationship. Remember, the goal is to fix your sexless marriage, not win the blame game.

2- Focus on non-sexual intimacy first. Dr Laura used to say to act as though things are how you want them to be. This means that you make a special effort to treat your spouse with respect and affection, even if you don't feel like it. And you may not. Intimacy issues usually lead to resentment and apathy in a marriage. You have to push those feelings aside and focus on doing the little things that build intimacy and trust, like making sure you compliment your spouse or give them lots of non-sexual physical contact. Find lots of ways to show your partner that they matter to you.

3- Agree with your spouse to get intimate on purpose. That may mean you need to schedule a specific date and time for intimacy. That may not sound as exciting or romantic as passionate, spontaneous sex, but it is certainly better than no sex at all. It also can help you to get back in the groove as a couple. If it's been a while there are probably all sorts of psychological landmines to dodge and just deciding the question in advance removes a lot of the pressure from the situation. This also helps when your love life has taken a back seat to other demands on your time.

So if you are in a sexless marriage, why not seriously consider trying these 3 steps. They aren't magic and they do require some patience, but if you are trying to restore intimacy in marriage they can really help.

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We all know that life is not a bed of roses. Just as in marriage, life is never perfect. Common marriage problems arise anytime at any moment. Although on the first stage of married life, life for the couple seems to be perfect and without flaws at all but as marriage grows deeper, this is the best time to see the real being of the person. Their personality, attitudes, temper, habits and lifestyle will no longer be a secret but will become a part of the acceptance to married life. On the other hand, as time goes by, we change for the better in the relationship and unconsciously change as well even at the worst times. We become immature, impatient and selfish realizing that there's a certain form of negativity that needs to be solved.

If we are asked to enumerate all the common marriage problems experienced by both husband and wife, then we can compile a book to do it. The problems can be as numerous as the people living in the world. This is so common to married life since two different people with different interest and personalities come together to live as one. Here are some problems:

1. Communication Problem. Misunderstanding is the very common cause of argument in marriage. One doesn't clearly understand the thoughts he's been telling to his partner and vice versa. Each has his own thoughts and views; sometimes the need to understand is rejected as they do not want to entertain other's idea.

2. In-laws Problem. There are couples who still stay on the house of the parents of either the husband or wife after marriage while saving up money in building their own home. It is actually the most known and common problem because parents can be so supportive to the point of interfering with their own lives. This also very apparent when they have already a grandchild living with them. They act like parents too and the couple feels like they cannot decide independently especially when parents scold them of not taking good care of their child. There are also parents who do not care at all. They do not talk often and care less with the new family.

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3. Financial Problem. This is also very common because there are couples who tied their knot and have not prepared enough because they were forced by such circumstance (pregnancy). Problems in food for their daily supplies to eat, milk, diapers and vaccination for the baby, etc. are just few of the reasons why conflict happens.

4. Priorities. There are couples that work 24 hours/day and 7 days a week without spending much time for the children and to each other. Stress from work that makes them forget that they have a husband or wife and children to spend quality time with. Lost of time to reconnect can cause damage to the married life.

5. Sex Problem. Stress from work, lack of time and less communication can contribute to loss of interest in having sexual connection together. Inability to catch a perfect time is also a factor. Meaning, when the husband is energized enough and eager to have sex, while the wife is tired from work and choose to sleep instead. This will lessen the interest of the partner causing problem with marriage.

All these common marriage problems experienced by couples as husband and wife are fine, healthy, normal and natural. Despite that, they can actually complement each other and learning what should be disregarded and corrected. However, at the end of the day, they should all realize that the most important and essential things that are of help to hold a marriage together are common values, common vision, and common passions. If in your life as couple, it is still not working, work on them. Having all of these gives more sweetness to the relationship, allowing more quality time to be together.

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A broken house is the last thing a child needs. Children need the protection and shelter of their parents to live a healthy life. Without parents, their life cannot be the same. You might have noticed that the wrongdoing children are from broken homes. They indulge in illegal things and ruin their lives. Drugs, theft, bunking, drinking are common signs of children that are suffering from broken homes. This means that the responsibility of the future of the children is upon the parents. You can save your marriage just for the sake of your children.

Here are a few tips that will help you in saving your marriage!

The first thing you have to do is admit that there is a problem between you and husband or wife; you have to accept this fact because without it you cannot go any further. This is the heart breaking point for many people but if you want to set things right you have to see that. If you do not start to acknowledge it, than it might be too late for your marriage to continue any further. If you ignore your problems, then you will notice that your children are watching everything. They know that there is a problem. Moreover, divorce is always not the best solution.

The best way to make things right is by communication. Talk to your husband or wife and try to figure out where things went wrong. Talk to each other, listen so that you will discover your faults, and tell your spouse his faults. One end can never be wrong, you both are in this together and you have to figure this out yourself. Think of possible solutions that you and your spouse think that will help your marriage. However, most importantly is to think about your children when you are debating your marriage's future.

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Go and see a marriage counselor if you have to, but save your marriage. The counselor will help you analyze your problems and then she or he will tell you possible solutions. The advices will be worth it and you can rely on them to save the marriage. Think of the love that you two shared and felt for each other. Instead of thinking about the bad times think of the good ones that will let you see the happy side of your marriage. You can be sure that your marriage was never this bad.

Last but not the least; keep faith in your marriage and in God. The more faith you have the better will be the chances of your marriage's survival. Pray and think about the betterment of your children. Think what would happen to them if you and your husband got divorced. A child can easily go into shock or depression after separation of their parents. Keep your optimism alive so that no negativity can enter your marriage or your mind. Keep these things in mind and you will definitely be able to save the marriage for love and affection for your children.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Christian couple counseling can be an effective way to help a marriage that is troubled or is not as strong as you would like for it to be. This type of counseling includes a religious tone to it. The Bible has a great deal to say about marriage, and if you want to live your life in a way that conforms to those elements then this can be a great way to get yourself involved with it.

The church is a great resource for your marriage but one that many people overlook. In fact, many Christian churches offer such programs for all of their members. Churches want to see married couples doing well so that they don't end up divorcing. With divorce being at an all time high, it is important for all entities including churches to reach out and offer a helping hand.

The overall benefits that are offered through Christian couple counseling really boils down to what has taken place in the relationship. Finding the program that offers what you need is very important. Some of these programs are intense weekend seminars while others help to build a strong foundation for the couple over time. It depends on if you are in a crisis at the moment or if you just want to make the depth of the marriage more than what it is right now.

There is hope for a marriage to survive no matter what stage it happens to be in at this point in time. Through Christian couple counseling you can start the communication process, explore the issues in the marriage, and find healthier ways to deal with them. At the same time you can include your faith so that your bond with God is just as strong as the one you have with your spouse.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com