This is without doubt amongst the top marriage counseling questions. The natural course of a marriage is rarely a smooth one. Under the pressure of daily life, we often take marriage and our spouse for granted. But the truth is that for a marriage to be healthy and happy, we need to keep working at it. In fact, you are as much responsible for the happiness of you spouse as you are of your own.

So how can you keep the momentum going and ensure that your nearest and dearest feels happy and fulfilled in your marriage.

1. Respect, respect and more respect

Without respect, there can be no happy marriage. Our society has changed tremendously in the last 30 years and the empowerment of women is very much prevalent in the western world. Men on the other hand have progressively been allowed to show their sensitive side. However, being in touch with one’s emotion should not be confused with being ―wimpy. Shredding your man’s ego to bits won’t make for a happy marriage. Don’t criticize him in front of others and don’t put him down in front of your children. If you disagree with him, try to do it privately.

A quiet man will fall into his own bubble of self-pity, but a more aggressive one won’t let you get away with humiliating him and consequently your marriage can rapidly descend into a war zone where arguments and fights are your weapons.

Before hurling abuse at your partner, try to remind yourself of his good points so that an argument can be prevented.

Constant nagging is another form of disrespect. For example, if your husband is struggling to find employment, instead of harassing him about the lack of finance in the household, help him to find for work.

2. Appreciate him

Learn to accept him for who he is—his unique characteristics, his quirkiness and interests. Once the marital ring is placed on their finger, many women set out to change their husbands for what they think is “for the better”. Why marrying him in the first place if you were so unhappy with his personality? Would you like your husband to change who you are and fix what he perceives as being your character’s imperfections?

Don’t focus on what he is not doing right, but instead concentrate on the positives. If he doesn’t do the housework to your exact standard you should appreciate that he is lending you a hand and probably doing his best.

3. Give him space

In a healthy marriage, spouses give each other space. Although this might be easier said than done, you should get used to your husband spending time with his friends without you. When he is out enjoying himself with his buddies, resist the urges to constantly phone him – he won’t appreciate that you are checking on him!

4. Don’t neglect your sex life

Sex plays an important part in your marriage: it helps to keep you connected to your spouse. Don’t be afraid to talk about sex with your husband. Tell each other what you like and what your boundaries are. Try to be adventurous; don’t stick to the same boring routine, but try spicing things up by wearing sexy lingerie, playing adult games, trying different positions or locations. There are many more things you need to know to keep your marriage happy.

Author's Bio: 

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