It can be amazing to listen to how people talk about their perception of reality. You can literally hear how close they get to a point that would allow shift, but stop short.

I had dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in a long while. As he told me about things that were different, it was easy to hear that he and his beliefs were pretty much the same, which means his experiences haven’t changed much. He still looks for solutions to his discontent about his life to come from outside himself.

My mantra is, “To find the right answer, seek the right question.” As we spoke, I mentioned this to him.

“I ask questions,” he responded.
“Yes, but you don’t stop talking to yourself long enough to ‘hear’ an answer,” I replied.

He does what many of us do to different degrees: he mulls over what he doesn’t like about his life repeatedly. Little attention goes to possible solutions. And, little attention goes towards shifting beliefs at the inner level to attract or affect a shift at the outer level.

Patience is a factor. How often have you felt unhappy, discontent, or something even stronger about a situation or aspect of your life? When did you want it to shift? Yesterday, right? If you do ask for an answer, or even for the right question, you want it now. However, the quicker you get out of the way, the quicker you get an answer.

What you need comes to you more easily if you ask, expect, and let go of those tricksters Who, What, How, When, and Where. It isn’t that you have to still your mind, you can think about other things; but you can’t dwell on what you want to shift. Why?

Opposing thoughts cannot occupy the same space.

Here’s a real secret: As long as you judge something or believe it needs to be fixed or changed, you, in effect, glue it down as your experience. This isn’t just an aspect of Law of Attraction it’s physical. Every time you replay thoughts and patterns in your mind, you create pathways or ruts, if you will, in your brain. This pathway becomes the path of least resistance whenever you’re triggered. You can become so entrenched in behavior patterns, you don’t even consider that there’s another way to think, feel, or act. Nor, that you can choose to do these differently. Create a pathway that allows for shift to happen.

My friend went on to tell me about certain things he’d like to change, but that guilt feelings stop him from moving forward. Then, he began to justify why he shouldn’t feel guilty about making these changes. I suggested that he look for the right question(s) to ask about the guilt. If he explores and discovers the root cause of this feeling, I’m certain solutions based in head-and-heart alignment will come to him. As long as guilt or fear of feeling guilt about taking care of his best interests is what drives him, desired outcomes and how he can attain them will continue to elude him.

If you’ve been seeking a solution or answer, take a day or three off from chatting about it in your head or with others. Give it an appointment on your calendar three days from now. If repetitious negative thoughts try to intrude, tell them they aren’t scheduled for further consideration until—and, state the date.

Also, don’t let the other trickster in: telling yourself you’re confused. You may not have a plan or strategy as yet, but most confused feelings are really about resistance to doing what you know needs to be done. The first step is to agree to allow a shift at the inner level. A good way to discover what this will look like for you is to let go of resisting what is so you can see possibilities. You don’t have to like what is, but as the saying goes, “Whatever you resist, persists.”

When you seek an answer, ask for it; then, listen to the sound of silence within. Your inner voice is polite (and patient). If you’re doing all the talking, it won’t interrupt.

Author's Bio: 

Life coaches can become self-published (and selling) e-book authors in 6 weeks through a 7-step process. Details at Facilitator: Joyce Shafer, LEC and Author ( Read outstanding reviews of her books/e-books at Lulu. Check out her limited-time e-book bundle at