Husband Won't Talk To Me About Problems: Husband Refuses To Talk About Problems

Though not exactly new advice for marriage, every couple must realize that the key to a successful relationship is good communication. Without it, the relationship will never develop beyond where it is right now. In fact, just the opposite will happen. The relationship will begin to degrade until it is virtually nonexistent. It is essential, then, that husbands and wives learn to make communication a central aspect of their marriages.

This has always been a challenge for some. Many people--particularly men--have traditionally found it difficult to open up and be vulnerable with someone else. This has even been true when conversing with someone they love. Though the desire to communicate may exist, the ability seems to be lacking. Often, this can be attributed to a lack of role models showing what it means to communicate.

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Communication has always been a challenge within relationships. Today, however, the challenge is greater than ever. With conflicting work schedules, social media addictions, technologies enabling you to work anytime and anywhere, the proliferation of video games, scholastic and extracurricular involvements of the children, plus a host of other distractions, finding time for a couple to truly communicate can seem impossible.

Clearly, healthy communication does not happen by accident. For husbands and wives to communicate, it must be intentional. Left to chance, it will never happen. Couples must purposefully set aside time for honest communication. This could mean devoting a few minutes each evening, one evening a week, or one weekend per month. Whatever the format, devoting time to catching up, discussing the status of the relationship, solving problems, dreaming about the future, and simply loving each other can greatly benefit any marriage.

Also, as words can be used to build up or tear down, couples must be aware of how they are communicating. Healthy communication means more than merely speaking the truth; it involves speaking the truth in love. Honesty and openness is essential, but so is grace and mercy.

The Message paraphrase describes the purpose of all conversations--whether within marriage or any other relationship--with these words: "Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out" (Colossians 4:6, MSG). Rather than using words to criticize or undermine, husbands and wives must seek to bring the best out of each other.

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Are the issues surrounding the possible demise of your marriage as big as you and your spouse are making them out to be? Is it possible, that one of you is a little more than unwilling to compromise or being just down right unreasonable? The reason I ask, is sometimes this stubborn attitude towards your spouse about issues in your marriage is exactly what's standing in your way of having a happy marriage. So, how can you overcome this and what is good compromise?

Well, let me be the first to tell you, there are some issues or demands made by spouses that are just not right in marriage. Meaning, there are some things that no one would blame you for not coming to some sort of compromise or meeting in the middle. But, more than not, there are a lot of simple things that can stand in the way of a happy marriage if you are unable to meet your spouse in the middle.

First, let's rule out a few of the more outlandish demands spouses may make and why they will disrupt a potentially otherwise happy marriage.

- Your spouse has suddenly become set on the idea of having an "open marriage", where one of you thinks that bringing someone else home with you at night is spicing up your marriage. Where you are now possibly questioning your values or are at risk of losing them all together. If you didn't enter your marriage on these terms, there's really no reason for it to be an ultimatum now.

- Suggesting that you be apart of some new addiction that is disrupting your lives. There shouldn't be any compromise on this. If you're spouse has become addicted to drugs, alcohol, or some other form of possibly dangerous behavior, you shouldn't feel in any way obligated to participate to keep the marriage alive. It will only lead to a further downward spiral in your marriage.

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While these are just a few of the major examples of what could be considered outlandish requests to compromise, there are many simple things that can appear this way as well, but should really be worked out. Some of the more simpler things are as follows.

- You or your spouse may have carried the bulk of the decision making when it comes to many things. In fact, to your spouse over time it can seem down right unfair. This is one of those problems that can spill over into many aspects of your life and escalate many problems as well. It is definitely something you should try to compromise on and find a happy medium. Baby steps at first on this one, so that it allows an easy transfer of power for the both of you and not put either one of you in shock so to speak.

- Parenting can be another issue that can drive a wedge in between the both of you and it kind of fits in with decision making. You may both butt heads on this one, as you both may have very different ideas or views on parenting, usually brought on by the way you were raised. This is another issue that could use some settling on middle ground. As it's important for you both to have a hand in it, and not just one who is dominate.

- How you treat and view one another. This can be many things. One spouse may feel that they go out of the way to make sure the other spouse knows how they feel about them while the other falls short constantly or thinks it is a given. If lack of attention or paying mind to the little things is causing problems in your marriage, you should do your part to meet your spouse in the middle on this one as well.

Nobody ever said marriage was going to be easy. If you fell for this or had some misconception before hand about it, I hope you begin to see somewhat that marriage should fall somewhere in the 50/50 range. Sometimes, 49/51, but otherwise fairly even to maintain a happy marriage. Don't let your stubbornness be the downfall of your marriage, if you truly love your spouse then although it may be hard at first to compromise on some of the bigger issues, you really should do your best to meet in the middle.

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All psychologists state that a failing marriage is one of the worst feelings one can go through in life; especially if you don't want the marriage to end. So much sacrifice for nothing? you think. Yet, by doing the right things I saved my marriage and will tell you of my experiences.

I'll tell you my story as quick as you blink: When I first saw that our marriage was heading for divorce, I was determined to fight and save my marriage. But I didn't know what to do, as I was desperate and it was clouding my mind and making me unable to come up with considerate ways on saving a marriage. I went with what I could think of; I apologized, I tried to talk him out of a divorce, and then I begged. Of course, none of them did anything and everything became worse.

But as I said - then I saved my marriage! How? What made such a difference?

The difference came when I realized that in my desperation I wasn't able to think clearly and asked for some outside advice. And it made the whole difference - it taught me that you won't make any progress as long as you continue doing what you "feel like".

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When you're desperate, your emotions overtake your mind and make you do desperate things like begging. But, the "real" thing that you must do is the exact opposite:

You should not make yourself easier to have, but HARDER to have. Do not forget that people want what they CAN'T get easily! So when you are able to play for this rule, you will be lifted from the depressed, begging spouse to the hard to get, elusive spouse. And this makes such a change - it completely reversed the whole game for me!

I know that this is easier said than done, but it is exactly how I stopped my divorce and saved my marriage from what looked like a totally desperate situation. Like you, I needed help doing this. I found help from an outside source - and now I am your "outside source", and want to show you what I exactly did to save my marriage and how I did it.

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Your spouse is threatening fire and brimstone. He/she is threatening to call it quits. It can be very difficult for you to bear, especially if you have committed some fruitful part of your years to that marriage. The sense of loss will be very magnanimous to even think of your partner calling it off. This is someone you have spent part of your life loving and caring for.

But the truth of the matter is that there is nothing new under the sky. You can still save this marriage as long as you are willing to do what needs be done to get this achieved.

The bulk of what needs to be done lies on you. You will first have to take some time to do real deep thinking. Ask yourself those things that you are doing that your partner normally frowns at. Find them out and make appropriate corrections. If you haven't been giving your partner enough attention, you need to start paying more attention and be more committed to the marriage.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

If you lack good communication skill, you will need to develop yourself on how to keep communication going. If it is your appearance or certain behaviours of yours that is pissing your partner off, you will also need to work on those. If your ex had ever complained of you being too proud, then you will have to come down from your high and mighty throne and learn how to say 'sorry', 'please' and 'thank you'.

The best source of information is your partner. Ask your partner the things that he/she will like you to change and the things at which he/she will like you to get better. If your partner is worthy of the effort at all, he/she will tell you and by the time these positive changes begin to manifest in you, your partner's love and commitment to the marriage will be reawaken.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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