I Can't Stand My Husband Touching Me: Why Don't I Want To Sleep With My Husband

Falling out of love with your husband is something that can happen very slowly over time. Many women don't recognize the shift in feelings at first. You may slowly change from being in love with the man you married, to simply loving him. That's a very important distinction and it is at the root of many failed marriages. If you want to hold your marriage together, there are things you can do to reignite the loving passion you felt for your husband when you two first met.

If you want to love your husband again you have to let go of any resentment you are feeling towards him. It's easy in a married relationship to start resenting your spouse if you don't feel as though they are contributing as much as you are. Perhaps you are more responsible for the household duties than your husband is. Maybe he works outside the home while you tend to the children. If you have are angry or upset with him for anything he hasn't done or has done you need to make peace with that now. Instead of focusing on his negative attributes concentrate on the things about him that you love the most.

You also need to make time for your marriage if you truly want to love your husband again. Don't just take five minutes during dinner to ask about his day. Plan to spend as much time with him each evening, after work, as you can. Set aside time during the weekends for just the two of you as well. Even if it's something as simple as taking a walk together or going to buy groceries, plan it as a couple. Reach for his hand sometimes and work at making him smile. If a man feels that you are making an effort to make him happy, he'll do the same for you.

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Are you having marriage troubles and asking is saving the marriage the answer. You may be at the end of your rope with your significant other but you don't know if giving up is the answer. Perhaps you have tried to express your frustration to him or her and they just don't seem to see the situations as you do. It is possible they are purposely avoiding coming around to your point of view. However, you know that they are going to have to come to terms with the marriage troubles and decide is saving the marriage the answer eventually.

Here is an idea just for you. Stop focusing on changing the other person. Maybe you will have to be the better person and make some changes that you can live with. I read an article where a quote was used concerning change by example and it is a good one: Gandhi said "your must be the change you wish to see." Think about it perhaps a change on your part will help change your marriage troubles.

Can people change? The answer is yes, but they have to want to change. It is a fact that no one will change just because you want them to. You only have control over change in your own behavior. So make some changes that can help save your marriage. By making these changes you can lead by example and your spouse will notice. If he of she had any doubt that you are sincere in your efforts to solve the marriage troubles this should put an end to that.

You can't expect a miracle, remember it take two to make things work. Don't become a slave to your spouse keep your integrity but make the strongest effort you can to save the marriage. Be patient and work at it, lead by example and keep the faith. Remember if you truly want to solve your marriage troubles and find out "is saving the marriage the answer" it all begins with you.

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If you are experiencing problems in marriage it is probably affecting everything else in your life. There is just almost no way to ignore the frustration and pain that you feel when things aren't good with your spouse. No matter what you do there are always constant reminders that it doesn't have to be this way, other couples seem to be happy. Well don't throw in the towel yet, this 4-point plan could be just what you need to turn things around.

Before we get into the plan you need to realize that every relationship is different, with unique dynamics and challenges. There is no "one size fits all" solution to problems in marriage. There are, however, some basic principles that you can follow and adapt to your individual relationship. As you put these concepts into practice you should begin to see positive changes in your marriage.

1- Be Honest With Yourself

The first step to solving problems in marriage is to admit to yourself that you are part of the problem. If you don't believe this you are in denial. How much of the blame you share is open for discussion, but if you can't accept responsibility for your part you will have a hard time making any progress toward a solution.

Let's face it, the only person you can really change is yourself; so why spin your wheels pointing your finger at your spouse. Sure, some of the problems in your marriage are certainly because of something they are or are not doing but you will make a lot more progress by looking in the mirror.

Take a look at the pressure points in your relationship and ask yourself if you could do anything differently to prevent the friction. This is not a time for defensiveness, be honest with yourself. Are you being selfish or overly critical? Are you making mountains out of molehills? Sometimes a simple adjustment in your way of thinking can make a huge improvement in your marriage.

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2- Don't Expect Perfection (From Yourself or Your Spouse)

After you have taken a hard look at yourself, think about how you view your spouse. Do you get really frustrated when they don't do something the way you would do it? How about when they just plain screw up? The truth is that none of us are perfect. If you really did the first exercise you should be a little better equipped to give your spouse a little leeway when something they do disappoints you. At the same time, when your spouse sees your new attitude they may feel a little more inclined to overlook your imperfections. Giving each other the freedom to be wrong sometimes can really relieve the pressure that magnifies problems in marriage.

3- Don't Assume Anything- Ask If You Don't Know

There is no telling how many problems in marriage are caused by one partner making assumptions about the other. This often happens when one spouse does something that hurts or upsets the other. The problem starts when the offended partner assumes the other knew that what they did would cause a problem. In reality they could be clueless and left wondering what happened after the dust has settled. This kind of misunderstanding can be prevented very easily if both of you will learn to ask before you assume. The discussions that follow will also help each of you learn more about each other and minimize future misunderstandings.

4- Don't Hold Grudges

This last one is a big one. You can do everything else and if you don't learn to forgive each other you will probably keep having problems in marriage. That means both of you need to put the mistakes of the past behind you and not keep bringing them up every time you get angry. If you insist on holding a grudge you are sabotaging your chances of having a really great marriage. Even though it will not be easy, you have to make a decision to forgive and forget. And don't be one of those people who say " I can forgive but I'm not going to forget". That attitude is usually an excuse for not letting go of past mistakes and really forgiving your spouse. Again, if you want to fix your marriage, just let it go.

So, is this 4-point plan guaranteed to work? Of course not. But when you think about it, what do you have to lose. None of these suggestions is very radical or controversial and there is nothing in this plan that can't at least help improve your relationship. Like most things in life, your results will be determined by your effort. If you are willing to be honest with yourself and your spouse, open the lines of communication and forgive their mistakes you have a very good chance of solving your problems in marriage.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Marriage relationship counseling could help a couple overcome their problems in their relationship and help them avoid a divorce which is one of the worst-case scenarios for any relationship. There are many counselors with different types of training and different levels of education from which you could choose to help you.

One level of counselors hold a Ph.D. These counselors have undergone a long period of training, at least five years, and have had at least 3000 hours of live experience with patients while under the supervision of another experienced psychologist. When they have undergone these long periods of training, they would obtain a doctorate degree and be allowed to call themselves psychology professors. These professionals would hold great knowledge about the human mind and how it works along with the many hours of hands-on experiences.

The next one is the Master of Social Work. Being trained in psychological theories and communication skills, they apply what they have learned to the situation their patients face. These counselors are allowed to work with patients from an institution.

Another is the M.A. in Counseling where they have undergone at least two years of training and have had at least 1500 hours of live experience with patients, also while under supervision. These counselors are restricted to small groups of patients but would perform better with individual or paired patients.

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For couples that are making use of insurance to pay for expenses on their marriage that includes counseling expenses, the counselor who to be assigned to you by the company is likely to be either a Master of Social Work or an M.A. in Counseling.

After choosing what type of counselor you would want to go for, you would need to worry about the costs of the therapy. Psychological clinics tend to be expensive, even in the lowest range. Do try to find a counselor type whose costs would suitably match. Compare the overall costs by finding out the cost of individual sessions and the total number of sessions you two need to undergo.

Look at the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment.

If you are worried about the money and how the costs will take a large portion of your finances, do think of how your relationship is worth more than the money you have and every cent spent on saving it will be worth it. If not, you could try looking for counselors who work in institutions or government-based clinics who would charge a fee based on your combined salary. This would make counseling much more affordable and give you another boost in your morale.

Lastly, you need to learn more about the rules and regulations regarding your counseling sessions. Some things you would want to know would include things like make-up sessions for any sessions you missed due to work or other commitments, availability of help from your counselor outside of counseling sessions, and who you could look for should your counselor not be available during an emergency.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com