I Hate My Husband's Family: I Hate My Mother In Law

If you are reading this article, then I'm sure that you have thought more than once about how to get rid of your mother in law. They can be so annoying, interfering, and overbearing. Tragically they also can end up ruining your marriage. You should know, though, that believe it or not, it IS possible to fix up your relationship with your mother in law.

In this article I'm going to show you 3 ways to better your relationship with her, by focusing on small things and not trying to tackle the whole problem all at once. It is going to take a lot of work and time to fix things up but for the benefit of you, your husband and your children, it needs to be done.

1. Circumvents resistance. Mother in laws can be set in their ways. No matter how good your intentions are to better your relationship with your "dear" mother in law it "takes two to tango". She is probably too scared to improve the relationship. If you start by doing only small things she won't even notice that things are getting better, until it's too late and...before she even realizes it, she has started to like you.

2. It's done better. To focus on baking only one dessert instead of 3 desserts usually results in a much tastier pie. When you focus on too many things each project gets in the way of the other one. It's the same way when it comes to improving your relationship with your mother in law. Pick one small area to improve and then move on.

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3. Instant gratification. It isn't easy to deal with some mother in laws and it could take a long time to finally have a working relationship with yours. Therefore, if you go for the "big kill" and look only at the end rosy relationship you may end up getting frustrated before you manage to get there and give up. By looking at the small things you will stay motivated and you will keep on going until you get there, step by step.

It will not seem like such a big, overwhelming task if you take it day by day and plan to make one small change to your relationship.

It could be that your mother in law just wants to be more of a part in the decisions of your family.

She wants to feel valued and appreciated.

Try to look past her attitude or the way she comes across, and read into what she could be meaning. For example, if she likes to tell you how to dress your children. Maybe you could ask her opinion about a suitable hair cut or hair design for your daughter. Or ask if she would like to go shopping for some cute little bows and ribbons. She will get to feel appreciated, listened to, and valued, while you still get the ultimate say in the clothes and what your daughter will look like overall.

It might be your dream to know how to get rid of your mother in law but usually it isn't possible. She is here to stay. Therefore, focus on the LITTLE sore points between you two and fix those up. Be consistent and you will eventually be able to have a working relationship where you won't even want to get rid of your mother in law.

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When you got married you probably vowed to stick together "for better or for worse." Maybe you thought the "worse" was the hard part. But some people have just as hard a time sticking together when things are "better."

It's not unusual to be more threatened by your partner's enthusiasm than you are by their lack of enthusiasm. What if they get excited by something that doesn't include you?

Suppose they enjoy something they do without you more than they do things that include you. Maybe you won't like that.

The thing that makes a good marriage great is the ability to function at your best both together and apart. The idea is not to submerge yourself in it, but to launch yourself from it. When you're operating at your best you pursue your interests and develop your skills. Some of what you do doesn't involve your spouse.

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But if you have a mate who appreciates your excitement you have someone who is fun to come home to. When you tell them what you did, what you think, how you feel, they enjoy your pleasure rather than resenting it. They accept your frustrations rather than trying to fix them for you or point out your shortcomings. You have a togetherness that accents your individuality, supports you and encourages you to express yourself in your own way.

A partnership like this usually doesn't just happen. First, you have to be solid with yourself. You have to have a life of your own, pursuits that you enjoy, goals that you cherish. If you are relying on your partner to complete you or fill gaps in your own life it won't work.

Then you must have trust, respect, patience and compassion for your partner. You have to understand that serving your needs is not their main purpose for living. Sometimes they have other priorities.

Allow your mate all the freedom they need to realize and pursue their own goals. If this threatens you then look at yourself and see what is missing from your own life. You, your partner, or both might not be ready for a great marriage that enhances both togetherness and individuality.

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Have you ever wondered about the vows people say prior to getting married? Did you know that unless you recite your vows, you cannot be married?

In the old days vows were considered promises. People were known to say what they meant and to mean what they said. Your word was your bond and many died before they would be guilty of breaking their word.

This practice of reciting vows to pledge our love and commitment to each other is vital to having a successful marriage. Sadly, too many people today see the vows just as words instead of something they are willing to die for.

I have performed dozens of weddings in my day. Sometimes people recited the vows I had prepared. Others wrote their own vows. Either way was fine but I believe people need to spend more time considering what they are saying instead of focusing on the choice of words used.

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Consider these phrases that are common in some marriages;

"Do you promise to love, honor and cherish this person for as long as you both shall live?" This is a heavy promise. To truly love someone you have to develop a self less perspective towards them. Love does not hold grudges, is not looking to get even or grows into hate at some point in your relationship. Love is the glue that holds a couple together and the sticky stuff that pulls you back together when something has pulled you apart.

Honor is to place in a place of reverence and respect. We are told to honor our parents, those in positions of authority and those who have rule over us. Too many people focus on who they are supposed to honor instead of why it is right to honor them. Married people should place each other in the highest place of honor they can find.

Cherish is to deem as being special. Her smile. His touch. Her laugh. His jokes. There will be many things about your spouse that will cause you to want to cherish them. I can tell you that once you lose a loved one (your life partner) all those little things you use to cherish will furnish you with memories to last the rest of your life.

Think real hard about what you are committing to before you say those vows. And after you say them, let only death cause you to break them.

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Understanding Men is something that a lot of women struggle with. When you marry one, you get a bit better at it, but it doesn't mean that it gets any easier. Luckily you're reading these articles from a married man to help you better understand men. Anyway, this article is going to talk about an important aspect in a relationship: faith. This is one of those things that really makes or breaks a relationship. Lack of faith can make a marriage crumble quickly. High faith, especially in times of strife, can make miracles happen. Here's how to get more love from your man by having faith in him.

1. When He's Down...

When your man is down and out, that's when he needs faith from you more than ever. Yes, it is helpful to him to tell him to harden up, but only if he's complaining about petty things. It's your responsibility as a wife to make sure that you're there when he can't stand up.

Say he was just fired and the home income stream is gone. It's easy to get scared. Think about how he feels though. If you're scared, how do you think he feels? Have faith in his abilities to find a new income stream and he'll credit you as his source of inspiration.

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2. When Miracles Happen

Faith isn't something that you turn on and turn off. Ideally, it should be something that's always in a relationship. You simply maximize it when your man is feeling down and out.

Faith comes in many forms in a relationship. It can be something as simple as keeping the gas tank filled up, to making sure that there's enough money for the groceries. Thank your man regularly for little things like these and he has little reason to not think that he's married a good woman.

3. The Alternative...

If you break him when he's down and out, you're going to send him on a downward descent that could cause him to spiral out of control. Remember, you have to be able to differentiate when he wants support and when he doesn't need it.

Make sure that you know the difference and that you don't accidentally make him resent you. You don't want him to think that he married the wrong woman now.

Understanding men is important, since it allows you to become a better woman for him. You want him to feel like he's married a woman who has complete and utter faith in him, not someone who doesn't care. Do you have enough faith in your man?

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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