I Support My Husband Financially: My Husband Makes No Money

Money is one of the most sensitive subjects that impact almost all relationships. In fact money issues have been the most common reason for divorce in recent years.

The following tips will help you to prevent money issues from sabotaging your marriage.

Transparency in Relationship
Many couples do not share details like how much money comes in and where it goes. Having a secret bank account or keeping secrecy about credit cards may lead to loss of trust between partners that can assume enormous proportions and sabotage your marriage irrevocably. Many marital conflicts can be avoided by simply being open with the spouse about money dealings. Both the partners should know about each other's financial commitments and assets. The key to a financially secure union are knowledge and participation, not control and abdication.

Participative Financial Management
The optimal way to avoid money conflicts is by making decisions together. Whether it is a monthly budget or considerations pertaining to long-term planning, the couple should make it a team effort. Also choose the time for financial discussion when both are rested and relaxed. Financial challenges can be met more effectively when neither of the partners is under stress.

Changing Tactics with Time
Financial practices however sound and successful for one generation may not be always smart for the next generation. Change in interest rates, government policies and regulations can greatly affect your financial decisions. It is therefore important to keep abreast of the latest trends and share the information with your spouse to make decisions with full understanding and consent.

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Honesty
Nothing good can come out of financial lies in a marriage. Even small lies can backfire and cause a feeling of hurt and betrayal. Being honest about money matters may also sometimes lead to conflict, but such conflicts are much easier to work out than those that stem from the discovery of lies. Keeping the spouse in the dark about financial woes can possibly sabotage your marriage. No matter how good or bad the financial situation is, one should make sure that the spouse is fully aware of the situation.

Avoiding the blame game
When financial problems surface suddenly, most people slip into patterns of anger and frustration. Avoid finger pointing and focus solely on the solution. Unnecessary quarrels and blaming will hinder the process of finding the solution. Accepting the situation and working together can help to a great deal in prevent the money crisis from sabotaging your marriage. It is advisable to make an agreed money allocations for each partner to spend in any way without having to explain it to anyone. This freedom can go a long way in building a strong marriage.

Setting expectation upright
The best way to prevent financial issues impact your married life is to discuss about your views and habits of finance frankly with your partner before getting married. Knowing each other's lifestyle and monetary needs in advance before you get into wedlock will help in better understanding and management of money after marriage. This will ensure that the money related issues will not sabotage your marriage.

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It's true that every marriage is different and there are many causes of marriage failure. However, there are 3 failures that most experts agree are common problems in most marriages today; Communication, Sex and Money.

The following information touches on these 3 causes that lead to marriage failure and what can be done to prevent them or work through them if you are already struggling with any of these.

Communication Marriage Failures - Communicating effectively is the skill that is most essential in creating and keeping a lasting and loving relationship. Its importance in maintaining a healthy relationship is often under appreciated by most couples.

Most couples talk at each other instead of to each other. The problem is that most times instead of listening to their spouse his or her mind is busy figuring out what to say next to steer the conversation where they think it should go. There is also a tendency by some spouses to always offer advice or fix a problem without clearly hearing and understanding what the issue at hand is.

Communication is vital in maintaining a healthy marriage and avoiding marriage failure because it can hurt your relationship in various ways. Sometimes not communicating i.e., staying silent says more to your spouse than the words you speak.

If you want to avoid communication problems that can cause marriage failure practice these;

• Express how much you love each other through your words, actions and expressions. Don't assume your spouse knows how much you love him or her.

• Be complimentary when things are done well and don't rip your spouse to shreds when he or she has failed at something. You should be your spouses' biggest supporter.

• Tell your spouse when you feel lonely, down and misunderstood. Don't leave it up to your spouse to guess why you are acting the way you are or reacting the way you are.

• Don't invalidate your spouses' being by telling him or her that what they are feeling is not a big deal or for real. If your spouse feels a certain way about an issue, then it's real and you need to respect their feelings and help them get through it.

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Ineffective communication is one of the leading causes of marriage failures but can easily be overcome with persistence and purpose.

Sex Marriage Failures - Sex is such a sensitive marriage failure issue because it's so personal. The problem most couples have is discussing the issue and clearing up any misconceptions they have. One spouse may feel as though all love is gone because intimacy isn't like it used to be.

Not dealing with the issues can lead to doubts, fears or resentment and snowballs into other problems in the marriage.

It's important that you talk it through and not let your spouses' lack of interest or spontaneity result in you shutting down and no longer being interested.

Money Marriage Failures - There are those married couples who struggle in this area because they have different ideas of how their money should be spent. It becomes a bigger issue when money is tight and priorities are not agreed upon. This leads to tension and fights as couples try change the mindset of their spouse.

I find that most couples resolve their marriage problems related to money when they realize that money and material things are not more important or valuable than their spouse. This happens when they learn to appreciate their spouse to the point where they are ready to place their spouses' happiness ahead of their own.

If you struggle with this area in your marriage, don't let this lead to the failure of your marriage. Learn how to communicate and compromise better and you will easily overcome this struggle.

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Maintaining a marriage is not an easy task. It needs lots of commitment, open communication and hard work to keep it going.

Every day, there are couples breaking up and divorcing. Failing marriages have become a way of life now. I believe that things will not turn out as it is if couples know the warning signs of a failing marriage. By identifying the warning signs, they can take precautions and save the marriage.

Now, let me share with you a few warning signs that need your 100% attention:

1. Frequent arguments. This is the most common warning sign of a failing marriage. Frequent arguments will lead to more intense fights and quarrels. I have seen couples quarrel every day and their relationship just seems to go down to the drain. When things get out of hands, divorce is inevitable.

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2. Dull sex life. Intimacy is one of the most important factors that keep a marriage going. If your sex life with your spouse is dull, then you need to take action. Bring back the passion to the bedroom. There are many resources online that will tell you how to do so. Read them and do it. Sometimes, you can also use sex to patch things up with your spouse. Nothing beats having a steamy sex with your partner after an argument.

3. Cold treatment. This is extremely serious. You need to break the ice and start talking with your spouse now.

If you notice any of the above warning sign in your marriage, you need to take action now. Stay cool and find time to talk to your spouse. If you want to save your marriage, you need to be proactive. Do not leave the matter to take its natural course.

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Cheating

Cheating can be addressed on its own, but there are often underlying issues that need to be addressed that many people overlook. Couples that find themselves in the midst of dealing with a messy affair often try to work through the trust issues that have developed, and the underlying issues that led to the cheating, but if communication is not effective cheating will more than likely occur again. If cheating is a repeat problem in a relationship, it may be time to visit a couple's counsellor to see if they can help you save your relationship.

Maintenance

Therapists do not just see partners that are in a troublesome relationship. Sometimes, partner's may visit a therapist to help maintain a relationship. Maintaining a happy relationship requires consistent work, and for both partners to feel connected with one another. By seeing a couple's counsellor, partners can help prevent problems in their relationship before they start.

Lack of Communication

If you and your partner do not communicate well, one of you is sure to notice it. Signs of not communicating well are sweeping things under the rug or holding in emotions or thoughts. Another sign is that there is often not a resolution to topics that are difficult to discuss, or disagreements. Instead, there is typically an argument and then simply nothing. This is often because one partner does not feel comfortable discussing things with the other or because an individual does not understand how to effectively communicate with one another, and can be a sign of trouble brewing in the relationship.

A qualified therapist can help identify key areas that need improvement in both individuals, and help get communication flowing smoothly once again.
You no longer like your partner

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As time goes on, partners may drift apart. Sometimes, one partner may flat out despise the other partner. They may no longer ask about their day simply because they are not interested in their day, for example. After so long, the mere presence of one partner may begin to annoy the other.

Partners may also no longer be attracted to one another physically, such as if one partner has gained a significant amount of weight or lost a significant amount of weight. They may mock them in their head, or in front of the children, displaying a complete lack of respect.

As these feelings continue, they often tend to grow stronger and stronger, resulting in more arguments, less communication and possibly cheating.

Instead of feeling disgusted with your partner, a counsellor can help you discover underlying issues that may be causing these feelings, and help your relationship become happy like it used to be.

While there are many issues that bring partners into marital counseling, these are some of the primary signs that it is time to seek help in a relationship. Every relationship is full of good times and bad times, but there are situations in which the bad times seem to never stop or couples simply do not know how to get back to where they once were. In situations like this, a couple's counsellor can help partner's rediscover the happy relationship that they once had.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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