Letter To Spouse To Save Marriage: Love Letter To Save A Relationship

I recently heard from a wife who asked for my help in "writing a letter that will help me reconcile my marriage with my husband." The two had been having problems for a while, but in the past few weeks things had escalated to the point where the husband had been hinting that he was going to move out and eventually file for divorce. So, the wife felt pressured to come up with something to prevent this from happening. She hoped that the right letter might do the trick.

I very much understand the appeal of a letter. You can pour out your heart without having to worry about being interrupted or tripping over your words or becoming too emotional. Sometimes, it's easier to write touchy words than it is to say them. But unfortunately, far too often I see people make some serious mistakes with these types of letters. I will discuss these common mistakes in the following article, tell you how to avoid them, and discuss what the letter with the highest chance of success should include.

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Understanding Basic Human Psychology Before You Write The Letter That Will Hopefully Reconcile Your Marriage: Before you get started, it helps to understand exactly what you want the letter to accomplish. In most cases, people are hoping that the correspondence will help to get their spouse on board with saving the marriage. They're hoping to change their spouses perceptions and feelings from negative to positive.

To that end, it's so important to understand how your letter is going to be perceived. Probably the biggest mistake that I see people make is that they focus on themselves in the letter (rather than on their spouse.) They place most of their attention to their own feelings and their own fears. Examples are phrases like "I don't know what I would do if I lost you." Or, "my heart is breaking and I pray that we can work this out." It's OK to sprinkle some of these phrases in the letter, but be very careful that the whole tone of the letter isn't one of negativity and fear.

It's very important to understand basic human nature and psychology. People will move toward those emotions, things, and people that make them feel more positively and upbeat about their situation. And, people will move away from and have negative perceptions toward those things that bring them down. Make sure that your letter isn't overwhelmingly negative and based on dark emotions like fear, jealousy, or possession. Proofread it several times to make sure that you aren't constantly mentioning yourself, how you feel, or what you want.

Keep in mind who your audience is. It's your spouse or significant other. So, the letter should mostly be about them and what you're now going to do to make things better for the both of you. Keep in mind they want to know how and why things are really going to be different. Pretty words are nice, but most people will see right through this and are most interested in how your actions are going to directly affect them.

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It's just human nature for people to want to know what is in it for them rather than what is in it for you. Focus on painting a picture of how you're actually going to make things better. Of course, this requires that you have a workable plan before you sit down to write the letter. But, that's OK because it never hurts to really think about how you're going to make some real and lasting improvements in your marriage.

It's so often your actions over time and not your fleeting words that matter. And so often, if your marriage is in trouble, your spouse is already going to be somewhat reluctant to what you have to say anyway. So yes, a letter can open doors for you, but in order to walk through that door, you'll usually need to rely on your swift, measured and decisive action.

Lastly, don't dwell too much on how you're going to "work" on your marriage. Sometimes, when spouses hear this phrase, it paints a very negative picture. Many people don't look all that forward to slogging through their feelings and clocking into the marital time clock. You can usually say the same thing in a different way to make it sound so much more appealing.

You'll often have much better luck if instead of telling them that you're going to "work through the issues" with them, that you're going to focus on bringing back your hot, steamy, and connected relationship to where it used to be. This gives them more to look forward to and gives them an incentive to get on board.

Here's another hint. Men or husbands will often respond better to references to improving your physical relationship. They crave the physical intimacy that means you are attracted and appreciative toward them. Women or wives wants to be appreciated also, but emotions will typically mean more to them than the physical (although this is important to us also.) So, if you're writing a letter to your husband, you're better off focusing on a physical connection rather than alluding to how you're going to "work" on your problems. Actually, both spouses often want the same things, but they will often demonstrate this in very different ways. So, it's important to keep these things in mind.

At the end of the day, these are just empty words on a page. If you don't make good on your promises and follow them up with action, then you're almost better off not even the writing the letter because your spouse will come to doubt your sincerity even more and your job will be that much harder in the end. But I've seen several carefully written letters be the catalyst for reconciling the marriage so long as they were followed up with the right actions.

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Saving a marriage is never easy and it takes plenty of hard work and commitment to successfully pull it off. Fortunately, the rewards for saving a marriage will bring so much happiness to a couple that it makes perfect sense to try and rescue your marriage. Take a look at some marriage saving advice that will help make your marriage a healthy one full of love and respect.

Resolve Conflicts: You and your spouse will not agree on everything so you will have differences in your marriage. Differences will cause conflict in your relationship, and the best way to deal with it is to solve it. Don't try to ignore any conflict that may arise and hope it goes away on it's own. As soon as conflict shows itself between you and your spouse, make sure you solve it. When you resolve conflict properly your marriage will become more intimate and stable. Resolving conflict is not only an advice to save your marriage, but also to make it better.

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Listen and Understand Your Spouse's Perspective: Listening to what your spouse has to say is a huge marriage saving advice. This is where your partner will tell you how they're feeling about the relationship you two have, and you have to be able to see things from their perspective. You have to listen and get on the same page of your partner's feelings. Some people listen, but they don't know where their partner is coming from. Whatever your partner is conveying to you makes sense from their perspective, and you have to get it if you want to save your marriage.

Make Small Gestures: In the early stages of your marriage, small gestures like a kiss good bye in the morning were easy to come by. However, as time goes by these small gestures are no longer mandatory. Make the effort to bring those small gestures back, because they mean so much. Eventually these gestures will create good feelings that will better your relationship and help save your marriage.

Another marriage saving advice is to talk about your feelings. Letting your partner know how you feel is good way to get a positive response from your mate. However some people have too much pride to let their spouse know that they're feelings were hurt. These advices can save a marriage, but you have to put things in action to get the results you want.

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Most married couples never expected they will be trying to learn how to save their marriage. On their wedding day at the altar they took their vows seriously, and they were so in love that they just knew it was going to last forever.

Well, you probably already know that love is not enough, which is why a high percentage of marriages fail every year. Just because you and your spouse were in love in the beginning, doesn't mean you won't have to learn how to help your marriage become better. A married couple should never fall into the dangerous trap of love. Instead, make the effort to follow some key rules to help your marriage get better, and save it from unwanted divorce.

One of the most important rules in a marriage is to have high standards. When you have high standards for each other in your marriage, hurtful behavior will not be tolerated from either one of you. A low tolerance level for bad behavior in a marriage will result in a happier relationship long term.

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If you really want to help your marriage get better you are going to have to learn how to successfully end an argument. Couples that have successfully kept their marriage on good grounds have mastered the art of ending an argument before it gets out of control. You can end an argument by using humor, making it clear you're on their side, switching up the topic, and showing signs of appreciation towards your partner.

Another powerful way to help your marriage is by staying positive. You must always try to look on the bright side of your relationship. By bringing positivity into your marriage you will create an environment that marital problems cannot survive in.

You shouldn't be satisfied with nothing but the best. There is always a way you can make your situation better and keep improving it.

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All marriages will go through bad times and have good times. Problems are usually what causes a marriage to turn sour so you must make sure you learn how to deal with these problems. The best way to deal with problems in your marriage is to identify them and solve them before they develop into even worse problems.

Some people will rationalize the problems in their marriage and try to brush them off as being a normal part of the relationship. However, if you truly want to save your marriage or keep it on good grounds you have to stop these problems as they arise. Although there are many, you must try to avoid these ten marriage problems.

The first of ten marriage problems you must try to avoid is jealousy. Being jealous all the time is a sure fire way to drive your spouse away and damage your marriage. People who feel secure with themselves tend to be less jealous and less possessive of their partner. It will take effort to overcome jealousy, and it is an important step to better self awareness and understanding of both you and your spouse.

Not making an effort to listen or communicate with your spouse is another problem you want to avoid. Your marriage has no chance of surviving if you shut your spouse out of your life by not making an effort to talk or listen to them. You have to communicate to your spouse what's in your heart if you want to achieve deep intimacy.

Not being kind or caring is a huge problem a lot marriages overlook. Your marriage will quickly end up in divorce if you don't have caring and kindness in your relationship. Some simple words such as please or thank you can make a big difference in a marriage.

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The next problem you should try avoiding is breaking your promises to your spouse. This is huge, because your spouse wants someone they can depend on. If you continue to break promises, not show up at places you say you'll be, or say you'll do something and don't do it, your spouse will lose trust in you. Don't be an undependable spouse, keep your word and follow through with your promises so your spouse can believe in you and trust you. If you continue to not keep your word your spouse will think you just don't care and your marriage will definitely suffer.

A big problem a lot of married couples face is resentment. You have to be able to forgive your spouse for past hurts or betrayals that will slowly ruin your relationship. It's normal to forgive but not to forget the hurtful behavior. However, you must not let the idea of getting revenge kill the chances you have of a solid relationship.

Making romance one of their last priorities is a mistake many married couples make. They say to themselves they will make time to be romantic later on. To avoid this problem you must make the effort to keep the love and affection in your marriage so your relationship doesn't fade. A married couple can be romantic by sending a romantic card, going out on a candle light dinner, writing a romantic love letter, or going out on a romantic walk together.

The seven of ten marriage problems you must avoid is being physically or emotionally abusive towards your spouse. DOn't make the mistake in thinking controlling your spouse or making negative remarks to your spouse is alright. If you continue down this path it will cause your spouse to eventually say enough is enoguh and end the marriage.

Selfishness is a huge problem married couples must avoid. If you are a selfish spouse this characteristic will easily damage your marriage. Especially when your spouse is very generous and continues to keep giving while you only think of yourself. You have to try to avoid this problem by trying to be more considerate and not only thinking about yourself.

Not showing proper respect for your spouse will lead to a long list of other problems. In order to fix this problem you must figure out the root cause of the disrespect your experiencing. You and your spouse both require the respect you deserve from one another.

The tenth marriage problem you must try to avoid is letting your emotions and temper get the best of you. Getting too emotional or angry will most definitely block positive communication and hurt your marriage. You must learn how to deal with these emotions and control your temper if you want your marriage to last a lifetime.

These ten marriage problems are often the reason why some marriages fail. To better your marriage you should look for signs of these problems and take care of them before they become worse.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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