All too often we look at our interactions with others the wrong way. We look at our interactions as if we should be liked, rather than for us to like first. How many of us have asked the question, “Why don’t they like me?” Maybe it’s because we really didn’t like them.

Unfortunately, many of us can often be too self-centered and self-absorbed when it comes to the “liking” issue. We fail to look at our end of liking the exchange, like we have no responsibility in the interaction. The truth of the matter is that if you want people to like you, you must like them first. However, there’s a little more to the liking process than just liking someone first.

The first responsibility we have in the liking process is to ourselves. Many of us didn’t learn this in our early years. Others in some way and somehow lost exactly what that means in relation to their interactions with others. It’s actually a very simple concept when you think about it for a moment and it’s a concept that is supported and documented throughout time in a variety of literary works. The concept is this: ‘to like yourself first’. Liking yourself is vitally important to liking others and you cannot like others if you don’t like yourself. It all begins with you.

If you don’t like yourself it will be impossible for you to truly like others and for them to like you. When we don’t like ourselves this comes out in every aspect of our communications, whether verbally or in body language. If we don’t like ourselves our words and actions will speak that truth and people may tend to avoid us. The same is also true when we like ourselves, except that when we like ourselves people tend to be more attracted to us. Liking ourselves is the first law of attraction as it relates to personal interactions.

Liking ourselves opens the door to liking others. Because we like ourselves we have developed, over time and through experience, qualities for ourselves that naturally come out in our interactions with others. Some of those qualities are self-respect, self-trust, and self-confidence. These are only three examples of liking and likable qualities for almost everyone, and there are more that are specific for each individual. Let us add that we have a natural tendency to look for agreeable qualities in others as we develop a likeness toward them.

The first building block to liking someone is to find those qualities in them that are agreeable to you, or that you like. This should make natural sense because, for example, we tend move into deeper conversations with those we have agreement with and tend to short the conversation with those we find disagreement. It’s a human instinct to gravitate towards and develop bonds with those people we see agreeable qualities or something we like in.

Sometimes liking others can be a challenge because you may find, from time to time, some disagreement with someone you are developing a likeness for. When you find yourself in this dilemma know that none of us can possibly agree all the time and about all things. Instead, focus on those qualities in the other person that you like. This is a very important concept for those who are involved in new and developing friendships.

The liking process is a reciprocal event. By liking others you will be liked. However, it all starts with yourself. By knowing and liking yourself you will able to like others and they will like you.

Author's Bio: 

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: