My Husband Does Not Make Enough Money: How To Keep Your Marriage Despite The Financial Threats

As we all know, communication is essential for a healthy relationship and money is one of the most common triggers of fights between partners or spouses. The bright side is that solid marriages or relationships and personal economic improvement go together. Have you ever observed what happens when the issue changes from "relationship and money" to "money only"?

As the saying goes, money is a relationship and money comes with relationship. It is never easy to have to deal with relationship, money or work problems. If financial problems are affecting your relationship, the longer you wait the worse things it will get. You probably already know that some of the loudest, angriest, scariest, and most emotional arguments in relationships are related to money problems.

Most couples get upsets, have arguments and misunderstandings over...

1. Who Should Make The Money

2. How The Money Is Spent

3. How Financial Decisions Are Made

4. Your Family Savings

5. Children College Funds

6. Retirement

7. How Much To Spend On A Vacation

In most cases, the root cause of the problem is money, either the lack of it or disagreements over how the money should be managed. It is important to discuss these financial issues. However, since each person in a relationship, that comes from different background and needs have different priorities in saving and spending money. This usually can be a great source of conflict for any relationship.

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Whatever the problem is, every couple must accept the fact that honesty should be the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and money matters are certainly no exception. But your feelings about money are just as deep and important as your feelings about each other; your love will not magically erase your conflicts over money.

With the current economic situation most couples tend to put their careers before the relationship. Sadly to say, a majority of couples are using money or financial rewards to hold them together. We are currently living in a society and environment where too much value and emphasis is placed on acquiring things and not on honoring the value of having love and peace of mind, which after having your health, a place to live, and food on your table are the only things you really need in life.

Many of us get into a relationship with our own expectations and dream. Overtime, you discover that the "wonderful" person with whom you fell in love is not as bright, sensitive or attentive and as nice as you thought, or you may discover that your partner's plans for the future are very different from your own.

It is important to discuss these financial issues, however, since different priorities in saving and spending money can be a great source of conflict for newlyweds. In many cases, conflicts can arise when one party tries to take the lead, making financial decisions unilaterally and only discussing it with his or her spouse after the decision has been made. It is important for couples understand that all major financial decisions should be made as a team. Each partner must be open and honest about their own financial situation, and what they will be bringing to the partnership.

Relationship and money problems do not and will not go away unless you face them and the sooner you deal with them the better. Procrastinating is a sure direction towards having a failed relationship. Money can make you happy but money does not guarantee happiness. If you do not face head on your money problem, your job, relationship, and money will cease to exist and when that happens, it is a sad day for any relationship. By then, it is too late for you to realize that money cannot solve relationship problems.

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If you're looking for advice for marriage because your relationship is on it's last legs then you'll want to read every word of this article.

You see, I know that it's hard to get to a place of forgiveness, but it may be the last hope that your marriage has to be saved.

Why is that? Because forgiving is part of the healing process in a marriage that you have control over, and if you've read any of my many articles you know that this is what I always say...

You Can Only Save a Marriage By Doing Your Part...You Can't Change Your Spouse...

I know learning how to forgive is one of the most difficult things that a person can have to learn. It's so hard because in our brains we're constantly rerunning the thing or things that a person did to wrong us, and so letting go is just that much harder. But the best advice for marriage is to let that go if you ever want not just hope for your marriage, but hope for yourself.

You see not forgiving builds a sort of stress in our mind that is very taxing on us. It cuts so deep because usually the things that we need to forgive about are personal wounds to our ego. And our ego is tough to overcome, even if it's in the most innocent way.

How Do I Forgive My Spouse to Save My Marriage...

It's very hard to forgive a spouse because when your spouse hurts you it seems to cut even deeper than anyone else hurting, because this is the person that you're supposed to be able to trust no matter what. This was the person that vowed to love you no matter what, and with that vow they're not supposed to betray you.

But we know that in life, things happen. In life and relationships people do things to tick you off, and to hurt you. Most often it's not done on purpose or maliciously.

People often hurt other people simply by neglecting to empathize with the person they're hurting. In other words, when someone is in the moment they may not take the time to think about how this is going to affect the person they're hurting.

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Other times they do realize this, but aren't mature or will not take the responsibility to control themselves and their actions. Great advice for a marriage is that you should always consider how what you're doing is going to affect your spouse.

The Easiest Way for Forgiving a Spouse...

When you MUST forgive to save a marriage and keep it alive, even if just for at least long enough to do some more work on it - the best way is to learn to empathize with your spouse.

You need to put yourself in their shoes for the time that they were in the moment and figure out the circumstances that caused them to do whatever it was that they did. It's very likely that you're not going to agree with what they did no matter, but simply getting to a place where you can see a reason that they may have done this can make all the difference in the world.

An Example of Forgiveness in My Own Marriage

I remember one time my wife came home from work and was driven home by a male co-worker - when she was usually driven by a female coworker. It was during the time that we were already having trouble so it wasn't good timing for our marriage at all.

I was raging mad. I recall a huge argument, some throwing of stuff, and about 2 weeks of not speaking to each other.

During the time of not speaking she had written me a letter explaining the circumstances. The coworker she usually received a ride home from went home early that day. The office was closing and this guy was the only guy left and her only hope since she had tried to call me but I never got the call.

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In my mind there was not good reason for it at all. Under no circumstance should she have gotten into a car with another guy. But after thinking about it I realized that where she worked wasn't a nice neighborhood at all. If the office was closing it would have been dark, and she would have been alone.

All of these things plus others made me realize that she had done the right thing after all...

I Realized I Needed Advice for My Marriage Because of My Own Insecurities...

But it didn't stop there. I also realized that a huge part of my problem was my own insecurities and jealousy. I realized that this was the sort of thing that I needed to start working on with myself.

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There can be a number of reasons why your spouse has reached the decision to end the marriage. Many of which are common and some that are unique to your own marriage. But, although the marriage has reached the point of divorce because of one of these reasons, it's often what we do while trying to save our marriage that delivers the final blow. So it is extremely important that you understand what not to do while trying to save your marriage, and I would like to spare you from damaging your marriage further by discussing 3 ways you'll ruin your chances to save your marriage.

One of the first ways in which you can make your marriage crisis worse is by letting your emotions get the best of you. It's a troubling time right now I know. You're on a bit of an emotional roller coaster widely out of control and speeding through the next heated discussion over the marriage. You have so much to say about what went wrong. In fact, you've been taken over with a blinding passion to fix it.

But, what you may not be aware of is, this passion to fix it is also what could ruin it. It's made up of anger, confusion, desperation, sadness and overall hurt rolled up into one big emotional grenade so to speak. You're on the verge of an emotional explosion, and it could go many different ways. You could lose control, say things you don't really mean. Sink into depression with no real action to save your marriage. You could do things you've never done before, like throwing your spouses clothes out the door, threatening to harm yourself, or making a scene at their place of employment forever shrouding them in irreversible embarrassment. There are many more ways in which we do this, but you get the idea. Our emotions if left unchecked during this time can ruin our chances to save our marriage.

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The second, and probably one of the hardest to do is, allowing our spouse the proper time and space they need to think this through. It seems unfair at first I know. You may even think that, if you leave them alone then they will leave even sooner because your not doing anything to save it. But, it's quite the opposite. When you're constantly in you're spouses face about the marriage, then it becomes more about avoiding you. When and if this happens, then the chances of communications between the both of you to save the marriage become slim to none. It now reinforces your spouses decision to leave. So give your spouse some space to think this over.

The third way is probably the hardest to accept. Leaving it up to yourself to save your marriage could ruin your chances altogether. This isn't to say that you should seek marital counseling. Especially given that traditional marriage counseling only has about a 20% success rate and it's cost can be outrageous. Not to mention, it's pretty pointless if your spouse is unwilling to go. It can actually bring about more problems than before, including it's financial burden.

So, where can you turn? Following a well thought out plan designed to save a marriage headed for divorce. One that allows you the option to save your marriage whether or not your spouse helps. A plan that aids in getting your emotions under control and guides you step by step on the best course of action. Also, one that teaches you what to say and how to react to certain situations and heated arguments about the marriage so that you gain positive results towards saving your marriage.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Author's Bio: 

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