My Husband Has A Female Best Friend: Is It Ok For My Husband To Have Female Friends

Emotional affairs of the heart or also known as emotional affairs is a kind of relationship that does not involve sex but includes intimacy and emotional attraction and one or both of the parties involved are married or committed to another person. It is also very likely that it will develop into a sexual affair if it is not stopped right away. Men and women are equally susceptible to committing this type of affair.

Emotional affairs of the heart are very common in the workplace and over the Internet. Most of the time, it occurs between co-workers, friends online, or past lovers. It usually starts as a casual friendship until they develop an emotional closeness and bond with each other. They enjoy spending time alone with each other and talk about different things - even personal issues. They talk about their complaints in their own marriages and become each other's confidant.

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What makes emotional affairs of the heart harmful to a marriage is that what the husband or the wife should have invested emotionally to his or her spouse is given to another person. The happy moments and the good times that the couple should have enjoyed are now with another. This will eventually weaken the marriage because there is no more romance and intimacy from the couple.

Another reason why these affairs are devastating to marriages is that it involves dishonesty. The cheating husband will deceive his spouse about his whereabouts and the things that he is doing just to be with another woman. He tells his wife that he is on a business meeting or a business trip when in fact he is having a good time with his "special friend." Or he might say that he is having an over time work when in reality he is just spending more time with a female co-worker.

The best way to stop emotional affairs of the heart is through professional help. You can avail marriage counseling if you are comfortable with it or you can avail online resources that deal specifically with this problem. There are many resources you can buy on the Internet that are created by counselors and experts.

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Building trust in a romantic relationship is not really difficult of itself. However, some people just seem to have this knack for setting up hurdles and roadblocks where there really should be none.

One common but debilitating hurdle that can get in the way of building this trust is the superiority complex - the need of one party to lord it over the other to prove that somehow they are better than their partner. And this "better" notion can take many forms:

* You don't know what you are talking about;

* You never seem to get it right;

* I seldom make a mistake, but you always seem to;

* You are always screwing up;

* I can't trust you to do this because so I had better do it;

* That's not the way I would ever do it.

In this type of environment it is literally impossible for lasting trust to be established. It is an environment where one party has to feel superior to the other in order for him or her to feel worthy. That in itself is a problem, never mind the obstacle it will be in the way of building trust.

This type of relationship can easily be recognized as it normally exhibits the following characteristics:

* There seems to be constant arguing over trivial things.

* The arguments are seldom about the main concerns of each party.

* One person always feel put down by the other.

* There is a tendency to engage in intellectual dishonesty so as to protect personal feelings.

* Emotional and physical intimacy seems burdensome.

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If you are involved in this type of relationship then you hardly have to be told how much trust seems to be lacking. Even if trust does exist at a certain level, at another level it is hard to trust someone who always seems to want to put you down.

To have a healthy relationship trust has to mean more than "I can count on you." It also has to mean "I trust you to be fair, I trust you to give me respect, I trust that you have the capacity to have a healthy regard for me." In a relationship dominated by the superiority complex none of these are likely to be the case.

If the above in any way describes your romantic relationship then you need to take a good look at the underlying issues resulting in this problem. Basically someone having a superiority complex is someone who feels insecure at certain levels. That would be a good place to start if in fact both parties in the relationship can in fact admit that there is a superiority complex problem.

Admitting to a superiority complex is itself a difficult thing to do, but if your relationship is to experience the level of trust that is necessary to keep it vibrant and alive, that is a small price to pay. Building trust in a relationship can involve overcoming difficult hurdles; the superiority complex may just be one hurdle you have to overcome if you want a healthy relationship.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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If you want to stop your divorce and save your marriage, you can do it any time. It will never be too late to do this. You can stop the divorce even in the last minute. It is simple. It just requires three steps.

Before outlining the three steps, I would like you to understand a couple of things. Relationship break up is so common that people often jump to the conclusion that divorce is the only way out from a difficult marriage. Since break up is a painful process, people want to get over it by picking the seemingly easy option of divorce. What they do not realize is that divorce is not automatically going to end the pain of break up. Divorce can be the best option in a few cases but in most of the cases, saving the marriage is both the easier and better way to end a break up. Many couples, after getting divorced, live in regret and remorse. They realize that divorce was a wrong solution to their problems but it is too late to mend things. So, please remember to explore all possibilities of a reconciliation before you decide to formalize a break up. Now, let us look at the three steps:

Locate the Problem:
Do you know what caused your break up. It may not be the petty quarrel you had on your last date. That quarrel, in all probability was a symptom of the problem in your relationship. It is not difficult to go back in time, analyze the various incidents in your relationship and find out where the problem started. You will find that the origin of the problem lies elsewhere.

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Make an honest attempt to solve the problem:
This is easier said than done. Once you have identified the problem, then think what can be done to overcome it. Action may be needed from your side or from your ex partner's side or from both sides. You need to talk to your partner about the possible ways of fixing the problem. The chances are that your ex was also not aware of the real problem and once you take up the issue, they might be open for a discussion.

Start all over:
This means that both of you should be willing to ignore, if not totally forget the bitter things that happened in the past and make an honest beginning. It should be like building a new house, after your old house was destroyed by a tornado. With commitments from both sides, you can work miracles in your relationship.

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I often get emails from folks who suspect that their spouse no longer wants to be married. I'm often asked for a list of signals and signs to watch for. I will generally preface this by saying that everyone is different. Some people can be very unhappy and discontent in their marriage but can also have a strong level of commitment so that it's going to take a lot to make these people even think about walking away. But, then there are others who will walk (or at least think about it) as soon as the two of you hit a rough patch. It may not yet be clear which of these categories your spouse falls into.

Still, there are generally some signs that you will begin to see as they move away emotionally. The distance may come gradually, but it will generally come. And only time will tell if this distance contributes to their taking this further and leaving the marriage, but it certainly helps to watch for the signs so that you can fix the problems right away before they get any worse. So in the following article, I'll tell you some things to look for which might signal that your spouse is seeing the marriage in negative terms.

They Look At You (And React To You) Differently: It used to be that your spouse's eyes would light up when you walked into the room. The sight of you would always bring a smile to their face. They were always happy to see you and to be with you no matter what else was going on in their life.

But, you may be noticing that things today are in direct contrast to that. They don't even seem to really see you anymore. They may not even glance up anymore when you walk into the room. You may now see a straight line or a scowl instead of a smile. When you ask them about this, they may ask you what you expect after all this time or they may wonder how you can expect the two of you to act like teenagers when you are an old, married couple.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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Maybe you could see their point if this was an isolated incident, but it's not. Their indifference to you has become the norm. It's not just a few instances scattered here and here on bad days. Not really seeing one another has become your normal. Yes, it's not unusual for things to calm down and to cool off once you've been married for a while, but couples who are still happy will generally be very aware of the other and will respond with spontaneous positive gestures in the presence of the other. A smile, the brush of a hand, or a palm resting on the back doesn't take any energy or thought at all. They are simply spontaneous reactions that occur when you are deeply connected with someone. If they are not happening, then you have to question the state of the connection.

They're Avoiding Intimate Contact And Conversation: Often when the connection begins to leave the marriage, you'll see either opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of behavior. Either this will come out negatively and you'll see the couple begin to fight, bicker, and "debate" much more. Or, you'll see them become very busy with other things so that they're just not around you as much. This is sort of passive aggressive avoidance.

In this phase, when you are together, you're not fighting. But, you're not being all that intimate either. This is the phase where you're perfectly pleasant, but you're not really talking to him or her as you would a lover. You avoid what's really important. You busy yourself with work or obligations. You talk about the weather, the kids, the stock market, the neighbors down the street. You talk about everything under the sun but your relationship.

It used to be that you could tie up the phone line for hours giggling and sharing and just letting the conversation flow. Now, there may be awkward lags in the conversation or times when you find that they, or you, aren't really listening all that intently anymore.

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They Are Starting To Live More Independently: When people start to check out of the marriage or to distance themselves emotionally, you'll typically also see this manifest itself physically. They will begin to spend more time away from home. They'll suddenly want or need to spend more time with friends or other family members. They may take up a new hobby or take on more responsibilities or projects at work. They will want to create an individual identity rather than just a couple identity. They'll start to establish individual rather than couple friends.

They may take separate vacations or open their own bank or money accounts. They may be either very open or secretive about this, but the bottom line is that it stops becoming "we" and starts becoming "I" and "you." They may even encourage you to become more independent so that this process requires less guilt from them. They do this because they want you to begin to establish your own life and interests so when they break comes, it won't be as devastating to either of you.

Sometimes, these things aren't conscious on their part. They're not actually saying to themselves: "well, I know I want to get a divorce next year so I'll start breaking away now." It's more that they are acting on their often unconscious need to start breaking away, even if they've yet to even notice this or to admit the reasons for it, even to themselves.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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