My Husband Is Behaving Like A Single Man Again: Husband Acts Like A Bachelor

I sometimes hear from wives who complain that their older husband is still acting like a young, single man. At first, this type of behavior might seem annoying but harmless. However, over time, it can start to become much more worrisome and it can make you wonder if there is something driving him to act this way or if it means anything for your marriage.

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband still acts like he's a college frat boy and it used to drive me crazy but now I am absolutely at the end of my rope. We have two small kids and he is still driving around in a 2 seat convertible. He still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. He still needs to go out to bars with the boys. He apparently still needs to flirt with other women. And he thinks he's entitled to a golf day every Sunday. The other day, we were at a restaurant with our kids and my husband ran into someone he knew. He went over to the other table and never even bothered to introduce me and the kids, almost as if he didn't have a family. Why does he act this way? Is he ashamed of us? Is he not really committed to me? Why would a married man want to act as if he's single? And what can I do about this?"

There are many reasons that married men act as if they are single. I will discuss some of the reasons below and offer some suggestions about how to deal with this.

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Some Not So Innocent Reasons That Married Men Try To Act Single: There are some negative reasons that married men will try to give off the impression that they are single. Sometimes, they are looking to attract and see other women. Or, they want to give off the impression that they are more young, carefree, and unencumbered than they actually are. And, some men have checked out of their marriage and therefore they want to distance themselves from their wife or downplay their marriage as much as they possibly can.

Some Innocent Reasons That Married Men Want To Give Off The Impression That They Are Single: There are some men who have low levels of maturity and who are reluctant to grow up. This may not be indicative of their commitment to their family or their love to their wife, but they may have negative connotations of a boring, trapped married man and they don't want these descriptions to apply to them. So even if they really are committed to their family, they may not want to give off that image because they are still invested as coming off as young, hip, and free. Typically, you would have seen this issue early on in your marriage, long before you had kids.

Which type of issue you are dealing with (and which of the above description is most applicable to your husband) will influence how you approach him. But it is important that you do approach him because this is an issue bigger than him appearing single. This issue encompasses respect, commitment, and important perceptions in your marriage.

How To Handle A Husband Who Acts Single: As I alluded to, if you suspect that your husband is appearing unmarried in order to be unfaithful, than your approach would not be the same as it would if he was acting unmarried because of his own immaturity or an unwillingness to grow up. Nonetheless, a suggested script might be something like: "sometimes, it seems to me that the perception you give off is one of a single guy. I don't want you to feel as if you're tried down and you don't have any opportunities to have fun with your friends. I want for you to be happy and to feel excited about your life, but I would like for you to feel excited and proud about being part of our family. I would like for you to include us in your life more than you do. Because sometimes when you don't, it makes me worry that you're not really happy and committed to being part of our family. And when this happens, I worry about our marriage. I want a husband who is so proud to be married to me that he doesn't mind everyone knowing that he's already spoken for. I want a father for my children who wants to show them off rather than hiding them from every one. We are adults now. There is nothing wrong with being proud to be part of a family. I love you. I'm proud that you're my husband and I want to show you off to every one that I know. When you don't do the same, it hurts me and it makes me question you're commitment to me. Are you willing to do better to give me more security? Because if you're not, I'm really worried about our marriage. I'm not sure how you can have a healthy and secure marriage if one of the spouse's refuses to acknowledge that he's married. And it's not giving our kids the father that they deserve. Will you commit to making this a priority?"

Make sure that you don't sound accusatory or call him an immature, frat boy. But make it clear that something has to change and that he has to be the one to change it.

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The goal of this article is to help you save your marriage today by looking at some of the common marriage problems couples face such as; communication breakdown and finances. Let's get started in helping you get on the right path to save your marriage today.

Communication Breakdown

Marriage at it's very best has both spouses openly and honestly expressing their thoughts, concerns, desires and dreams to each other and being able to give constructive healthy feedback in a timely manner. That's not the norm unfortunately. However, the foundation of a marriage that lasts usually has at it's core good communication, and will help you save your marriage today.

If you can't communicate very well you are left just tolerating each other which can cause a build-up of anger and frustration and one day become very destructive to your marriage.

If you are struggling with communication figure out why. It's time to examine what has changed over the years that prevents you from being open and honest. The best place to start is right now by looking forward and not backwards.

Have a non-confrontational conversation over a quite dinner where you get to the root of the matter. Gently explore how you used to be able to talk about stuff but don't feel comfortable doing so now. You probably will discover that there is no real reason for you not to be communicating.

Commit to making communication a priority again in your marriage today going forward. It would be a good idea to revisit the issue a month later to see how you are doing.

What you may discover, is that other issues created a wall between you, which is the real reason why communicating was such a challenge.

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These economic times we live in today are putting great pressures on marriages and your ability to respond and handle the pressure will save you from caving in. Not having enough money for rent or mortgage or paying the credit card bills and car payments creates all kinds of frightening feelings and often times couples begin to take their frustration out on each other.

OK, you need to talk about your finances and agree on the following;

1. You are where you are and there is no need to let the past dictate your future.

2. You will work together to ensure that you don't add to the crisis by making foolish or unnecessary purchases.

3. You will be open and honest about income and spending.

Trust, commitment and working together are the keys to being able to deal with your finances and save your marriage and not let the economic pressures of today drive a wedge between you.

I hope and pray that you really want to save your marriage today and I know if you are committed nothing can come between you.

If you can improve your communication and openness regarding finances, so much stress will be removed from your marriage starting today. You will feel as though a heavy burden has been lifted off your shoulders.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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Isn't it frustrating that you have to spend your time trying to figure out how to fix a troubled marriage, when it seems like everyone else is walking around happy and in perfect little marriages.

How has your search gone so far for solutions for your troubled marriage?

It's important to note that you've gotten further than most people by looking into it at all. Most people will either simply ignore the facts, hoping that miraculously things will get better on their own.

Others will just play the blame game, point fingers, and to get their spouse to change by accusing them for the trouble, telling them it's their fault.

Obviously neither of these strategies are very good. Hope isn't actually a strategy at all.

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If you're serious about how to fix a trouble marriage, then you've got to truly think about all sides of the spectrum. It's going to take some serious thought, and stepping outside of the marriage, and looking at it with fresh eyes.

It may even get a bit uncomfortable, because you need to start thinking about how much you truly are playing a role in the fact that you have a troubled marriage.

The fact is that if there is abuse in the relationship, or a constant cheating by someone who won't stop, or even admit they're cheating, then the marriage should end. There is life after cheating in some cases, but that's only when it's being handled and dealt with responsibly. Abuse is never excusable, and likely won't stop without SERIOUS help!

But besides those two instances you may be more to blame than you likely think you are. Not a bad thing, and there's no reason to beat yourself up about that. Nobody gives you a book when you get married saying this is how to do it. In fact it wouldn't make any difference due to that pesky thing called personality.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Just as women don't always feel fulfilled or happy within their marriage, the same is true of many men. If you feel that your spouse is pulling away from you and you're worried about the future of your relationship, you can't let that go ignored. You have to face the reality of your relationship head on so you can begin taking the necessary steps to fix it. If you feel that your husband is no longer feeling content within the relationship, understanding why that is will help you forge a plan to rebuild the lost bond between the two of you.

Here are 5 common reasons your husband may be unhappy with the marriage:

Lack of affection. You may not realize how important holding hands or those hello and goodbye kisses are to your husband. That type of seemingly innocent affection is very powerful to a relationship's health. If you've stopped showing your husband that you love him by holding back affection, it will impact his feelings.

Lack of intimacy. Although related to lack of intimacy, this takes things to another level. When a marriage becomes sexless it leads to all kinds of resentment and frustration. If you constantly don't feel like you're in the mood or you always have a headache, your husband will take it as a sign that you no longer find him desirable.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Lack of spontaneity. Part of the fun and adventure of marriage is never knowing what's around the corner. Early in most marriages, before the children arrive and bills pile up, couples often do things on a whim. Your husband may miss that. You can remedy that by planning inexpensive outings for the two of you on the spur of the moment. He'll love it.

Lack of appreciation. Do you take the time to ensure your husband knows how much you appreciate him? Most of us don't. We just assume that our spouse knows that we value him deeply. Start telling him on a daily basis.

Lack of communication. As much as we may believe that our husbands don't want to share what they are feeling, they do. In fact, they just want to be heard and they want their feelings to matter. Talk to your husband more about everything, including what you both are feeling. It will help you both feel more happiness within the relationship.

If you take the time to address the issues that are contributing to your husband's unhappiness, you can then work on changing your marriage. Some effort now will ensure you have a long and satisfying relationship.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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