My Husband Refuses To Sleep With Me: Reasons For Husband Not Sleeping With Wife

During the beginning of a relationship, people tend to put a lot of time and effort creating romantic situations to entice and seduce their partners. More effort is also given to exploring each erogenous zone in intimate detail as we learn about each other. And, time seems unimportant as you dedicate and focus your loving attention on each other's pleasure. You may fondly remember or even fantasize about those blissful times together. However, as a relationship matures, other priorities seem to take hold of your time and energy. As your intimate connection fades, your relationship may start to weaken as well.

Here are some sexy suggestions to help you make pleasure a priority again and enable you to rekindle the romantic intimacy in your relationship. Although even just one of the following elements will help, try including as many as you can to create ultimate, unforgettable nights of romantic and passionate intimacy.

- Time & Timing: Regardless of how busy your day is, everyone needs some down time to rest and recuperate. Sensual play with your lover is much more rewarding than going out or watching television even if it is together. Coordinate a time and place where you can both be together in mind and body for at least two hours without being disturbed. Plan it and make it happen - discard the notion of spontaneity. Lock the doors, turn off the phone, get a sitter - just do what ever it takes. Make a date or schedule in an appointment for love.

- Simmering Seduction: Good foreplay starts with the mind. Ensure you maintain an emotional connection with your partner throughout the day. Smalls gestures of affection and desire (lingering non-sexual touches, caressing hugs, flirtatious eye contact, tender kisses, etc.) help maintain a sense of closeness. Also, discover, create and use your own sexual signals to build anticipation and increase arousal.

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- Arousing Atmosphere: Ensure your lovemaking area is warm, cozy and inviting in temperature, sight, sound and scent. Use candles or a fire to create a soft radiance that gives the room and your bodies a warm glow. Play soft, calming instrumental music to guide the rhythm of your slow and sensual pleasuring. Burn incense or candles with a subtle scent that is either relaxing or arousing.

- Food & Drink: Sharing a bottle of wine or a pot of tea together will help you relax and get in tune with each other. Light, sensual snacks such as fruit, oysters and chocolate may enhance your sexual vigor and stamina. Juicy fruit, syrups and sweet liquors can also be used as part of your sensual foreplay. Also keep a few chilled bottles of water handy to refresh yourselves later.

- Clean & Tidy: You may have heard the saying that men doing housework is like foreplay for women. Regardless of how the burdens of everyday life are shared in your relationship, making love in a clean and tidy room eliminates negative distractions that can ruin the mood. Crisp, clean sheets are also a nice touch. Use satin or high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets for sensual elegance.

- Good Grooming: An invigorating shower or a relaxing bath together will ensure you both smell and taste fresh, clean and desirable. Washing each other is also a sensually delightful experience that will definitely get you in the mood. Men should shave to remove sharp, rasping stubble. Hand care is also essential. For men, a full manicure may not be required but keeping your nails clean, trimmed and smooth is critical. Keeping your hands and finger tips soft is also important especially for touching and stroking sensitive erogenous zones.

- Erogenous Exploration: Attempt to relearn each other's bodies with extended touching, stroking, caressing, tickling, kissing and licking. Pleasure regions of your bodies that may have been neglected for a long time. Experiment with different massage techniques for both pleasure and relaxation. Introduce some variety with your style, technique, sequence, position etc. to create an unexpected sensual surprise.

- Arousing Accessories: Creatively use one or two accessories to arouse and stimulate each other. Apply a special perfume or cologne reserved just for making love together. Wear erotic or sensual lingerie to look and feel sexy. Use a feather, silk, artist brush or even a rose to delicately tickle pleasure receptors all over your bodies. Flavored or warming lubricants can make your touch feel completely new and exciting. And of course there are a range of sex products that can be used as part of your foreplay, sex play or after play.

There are so many delightful possibilities but it does require that you make pleasure a priority in your lives together. The time and effort you spend enjoying and deepening your intimate connection will be extremely rewarding. Not only will you feel happier about yourself and each other, daily stress will be easier to cope with. You will also feel and be healthier mentally, physically and spiritually. For many reasons, sexual intimacy in your relationship deserves to be a priority. To ensure a successful relationship, it takes more than love and good intentions - Amazing Sex is Essential!

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No one said that marriage was going to be easy, and it isn't. However, we somehow seem to think that it will be for us when we first get married. We can beat those odds of 1 out of every 2 marriages ending in divorce because we are in love, and we will live, "happily ever after." Then we get married.

After being married for awhile we realize that we really don't know what we're doing. The only models of marriage we had were our parents and those of our friends. Some of those marriages may have been happy, some were not, so we're left with having to figure out what works and what doesn't. If you're reading this to begin to answer the question, "How do I save my marriage," then you know that most of the time we end up figuring out what DOESN'T work but still have no idea of what does work.

So, I have 3 ways that WILL work to help you transform your marriage and will help you get your marriage back to that "happily ever after" situation you wanted in the first place.

1.) The first is to realize that arguments are based on hurt and resentment.

You need to realize that most of your arguments are coming from hurt and misunderstandings and those areas of hurt are what really need to be addressed to make some major changes in your marriage.

So, for example, if you're arguing about your love life being in a slump. One person says, "We never make love anymore." Making love is not really the main issue. The main issue is that one spouse is hurt because they don't feel attractive or loved anymore. So if you focus on making your partner feel more attractive and loved, you will probably find that this argument goes away pretty quickly.

First of all the word "never" is never true. So to say, "We NEVER make love anymore," probably isn't true. They are really saying, "We don't make love as much as we used to, and that's making me feel unattractive or unloved."

If you can focus on making your partner feel more loved in other ways this argument will most likely go away. Remember, the real issue is that your partner is hurt because they feel like you don't love them or they don't turn you on anymore.

If you understand that the disagreements in your marriage are coming from hurt and resentment, then you can focus on healing those hurts and fixing the real problems that plague your marriage.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

2.)The second key in answering the question, "How do I save my marriage," is to not be who you think your spouse wants you to be.

What? I can transform my marriage by not being the person my spouse wants me to be? No, what I'm saying is to not try to be the person you THINK your spouse wants you to be. So many times when a marriage is in trouble, one spouse tries to save it by doing all the things they think their spouse wants them to do Then sadly, they are shocked when they've made all these changes, and their spouse still hands them divorce papers.

Now I'm not saying to not make some changes to who you are, but you need to make them for the right reason. You need to become more loving, caring, understanding, etc., because you want to be a better person, not to try to save your marriage. If your partner has complained to you over the years that you are thoughtless and insensitive because you do such and such, you should try to change those things about yourself in order to make yourself the best person you can be.

If you only try to change because you hope it will save your marriage, your spouse will feel that and resent it because they will feel like they are being played. You need to make some changes that YOU don't like about yourself to become a better person, with no other ulterior motive. Surprisingly, this is going to make you very attractive to your spouse. The transformation this can make is incredible.

3.)The third key in saving your marriage is to love your partner in a way that "feels" like love to them.

This is critical to answering the question, "How do I save my marriage?" Gary Chapman wrote a fantastic book in this area called, The Five Love Languages. In it he talks about how there are 5 different ways that people express and receive love.

1. Affirming Words- this is basically saying sweet and loving things to your partner.

2. Quality Time- this is loving your partner by spending time together.

3. Gifts- this one's kind of obvious, it's loving someone by giving or receiving gifts.

4. Acts Of Service- this is loving someone by doing nice things for them, like laundry, cooking meals, cleaning the house, etc.

5. Touch- simply hugging, kissing, holding each other, making love, etc.

Without going into depth on what's covered in this book, the main point made in this book is that oftentimes, we are married to someone who speaks a different "love language" than we do. So, if you mainly see that loving your spouse is done by giving them gifts(Gift Giving), they may see love expressed by spending time together(Quality Time).

So you bring home flowers and candy as a way of saying, "I love you," but it doesn't really seem to change anything in your relationship. That's because you are actually speaking different languages when it comes to love. If you try to learn which of the five love languages your spouse "speaks," start learning to "speak" that love language. Transformation is almost inevitable.

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Are you being completely honest in your marriage?

Having controlling behavior can be destructive your relationship and having a passive-aggressive behavior as well. People who are passive-aggressive attempts to get their needs met in some destructive ways. When they talk about something especially with their true feelings, they would say about one thing but it is different to what they really feel inside just so they could get back to the other person.

There are some examples of a passive-aggressive like when a wife tell her husband that she is okay if her husband spend the day golfing with his friends. And then she would do something to get him back because she is not happy about it. It would be something like "accidentally" putting a red shirt with his white underwear as the wife do the laundry. This can be destructive to the marriage and it defeats the goal on how you can save a marriage.

What are you bringing to the relationship?

You can save your relationship then you can sit down and do a list of what you can contribute to the relationship. This list is not about physical things such as making money for your mortgage or cleaning houses or doing the grocery shopping.

Instead you make a list on how you are contributing to the relationship on making it good or bad. Are you always noticing everything about your spouse? Do you show you appreciation to your spouse for the things that your spouse did for you? Are you supportive to your spouse decision? Do you listen to your spouse when your spouse talk about the problems that is bothering them? Are you loving and affectionate towards your spouse?

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Do You Compromise to Meet Both Of Your Needs?

Do you tend to be a little bossy and demanding in your marriage? Does your spouse get a change to express their own needs and wants without the fear of being judged? You have to keep in mind that a successful marriage is when two people feel successful themselves. Tell me, do you think you or your spouse feels successful and content in their lives when they don't get to make their own decisions or put input on an important matter? How successful do you think you'd feel if your own needs and desires are not being met, especially because someone who you truly care about?

Always remember that a marriage is about a partnership of two people and not about dictatorship where only one person makes the decisions. When you control your spouse it can fosters resentment. Your spouse is an individual that has different likes and needs that will not always be the same with you. You need to learn how to comprise in your marriage. If your honor and respect your spouse's feelings, wants and needs, it can make your marriage stronger and long lasting.

If you feel your marriage is suffering, keep in mind that part of it is your responsibility. Marriage is a two way street. If you feel your needs aren't being met which resorts to constant discontentment, it is your responsibility to communicating your needs. If you feel your spouse doesn't help around the house but you don't say anything without starting a fight, you should reconsider changing your approach. Marriage will take work and effort, it's a process of trial and error.

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I often hear from wives who are looking for a way to get their husband to want them back. I often hear comments like: "my husband moved out. I can't let him go. How can I get him to want me back?" Or "my husband has already filed for divorce. Is to too late for me to make him want me back?" Or " we aren't even speaking at this point. I'm starting to think it's impossible for him to want me back when we aren't even interacting with one another."

The theme of these questions are often quite similar. The wife usually knows that what she wants to do is going to be quite a challenge, but her feelings about her husband, her family, and her marriage propel her forward to do whatever needs to be done to make him want to save the marriage. Often, these women are willing to try or do just about anything that's healthy and effective. The problem is that they are often fresh out of ideas and they feel as though they are running out of time.

In the following article, I'll offer some tips and strategies that I've actually seen work for women who are trying to get their husbands to want them back.

Any Strategy To Get Your Husband To Want You Back Should Appear Very Genuine: I have to stress this first of all. Often, if you don't play this very carefully, your husband is well aware of what you are trying to do and as a result will make your job even harder, particularly if he is resistant to the idea of coming back.

So, it's extremely important that you evaluate your ability to convincingly "sell" or "pull off" any strategy that you are going to try. It may be tempting to try to do a complete about face and act as if you're someone you're not, but this will often backfire if you can't make it appear very genuine and almost spontaneous.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Getting Your Husband To Want You Back Often Means Changing The Perceptions He Already Has: Many women will assume that they need to "start all over" or do something very drastic to get his attention or to get the desired response. But, you usually need to realize that in order for him to change his mind and decide to want you back, he will also need to change the perceptions that he currently has.

Sometimes when I explain this, wives take this to mean that they need to focus and then overcome their problems immediately. This isn't what I mean at all. In fact, I don't think that you need to dwell on the things that are coming between you. Eventually you will need to, of course. But, when you're already on very shaky ground, it doesn't make sense to rock the boat.

Typically, what gets better results is if you're able to change the perceptions that is keeping him away from you right now. I have to tell you that many men tell me that the things their wife assumes aren't always true. He's sometimes just as sad as you are that things are ending. But, he often doesn't think that things ever can (or ever will) change. He often sees a difference between how things are today and how they were when the both of you were happy.

But, here's the thing. Although many external things may have changed, the core often remains the same. What I mean by this is that sure, you may have a lot of responsibilities and stress. You may have kids and jobs and short tempers. You may feel pressure that you might have only imagined when you were dating. But, despite what you may think at this very moment, the two people who fell in love are the same people who we are talking about now.

People will often insist to me that either they are their spouse have "changed." I usually don't fully buy this, although there's no doubt in my mind that the situation has changed. And I never doubt that priorities and time allotment has changed. My point is that often, if you change the situation and the priorities, the perceptions slowly begin to change as do the feelings.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Showing Your Husband The Woman He Wanted In The Beginning (And Who He'll Hopefully Want To Come Back To Now:) I'll share with you something that really changed the way I looked at my situation when I was going through this same thing. I was seeing a therapist who asked me what attracted my husband to me. In other words, what was I like when we were dating? I told her that my husband brought out the best in me. That when I was with him then, I wasn't the uptight perfectionist that I usually am.

I felt more free, lighter, and just more fun to be around. I even saw myself as funny and sort of happy go lucky at that time. My husband and I used to spend a lot of time laughing. I remember after this description, the therapist said something like "so, you're describing an attentive, vibrant, light hearted person with a lot of energy?" I agreed with that assessment at about the same time that she whipped out a mirror and showed me my reflection.

It was then that it hit me just how different everything had become. I wasn't presenting myself in the same way to my husband and yet, I expected his feelings for me (and for the marriage) not to change. This was obviously unrealistic. And this is what I want for you to realize. Often, you will have your best chance to get him back if you can show him that woman he first wanted and fell in love with. Because if you can do that in a very genuine and convincing way, then this is the person who is going to have the best chance of getting him to want her back.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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