My Husband Says He Would Rather Be Alone: Your Husband Says He Wants To Be Alone

I sometimes hear from wives who don't know how to approach (or attempt to overcome) their husband's insistence that he is just more comfortable being alone. Perhaps he asked for some time to himself and pursued a separation and then found out that he liked being on his own. As a result, he may come to believe that he would rather live alone permanently and this can leave the wife very frustrated and very confused.

I might hear from a wife who says: "it didn't surprise me all that much when my husband wanted a separation. He's always been a bit aloof and a loner. He always seemed to distance himself from me emotionally. That is just his personality type. I actually know that he loves me and I don't take this personally because I see him exhibit this behavior with every one else, including his family and very close friends. He can go months without contacting his family and then will only touch base when they reach out to him. So I know that this is just how my husband is. We've been separated for about two weeks and now he is saying that he wants to be alone permanently. I had to ask him if there was someone else and he assured me that there wasn't. He says that he doesn't really have any desire to spend time with any other human being. He says that he is just the type of person who needs to be alone. He says he is an extreme introvert and that it's draining for him to have to interact with another person so closely on a daily basis. I have seen this play out in his life over and over again. But I thought that I would be the exception because of his love for me. He says that he has no immediate plans for a divorce. It's just that he know realizes that he wants to live his life alone. He says that he still wants a close relationship with me and that he still loves me, but he loves his solitude too much to pretend that he doesn't. He's actually loving toward me when we're together. But we're both sad that it has come to this. I have no idea how I am supposed to handle this. "

Having Patience To See If His Attitude Will Change Can Be Helpful: I can't say that this is a common situation, but I have heard from people involved in something like this more than once. Many people suspect that the husband or the unhappy spouse is just using this "want to be alone" explanation as an excuse. The assumption if that he doesn't want to hurt his wife's feelings and own up to the fact that the doesn't love her anymore so he will just fall back on his introvert's personality. I can understand why people might think this. But I believe that in some cases, what the husband is saying is valid. He may truly believe it. Or, he may be going through some sort of struggle that is causing him to isolate himself. I know that most people resist counseling in these situations, but if you can swing it, that would be optimal.

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With that said, there are some people who feel much more comfortable and at peace living alone. (I think it's probably premature to assume with all certainty that you husband fits in this category. Because there are others who like the idea of living alone, until they do it for an extended period of time, and then they realize it's not as great as they thought. In fact, many come to realize that they are downright lonely. But you will often have to wait for this to happen. As tempting as it might be to try to convince him that he is mistaken or that it is not healthy for him to be such a loner, this isn't likely to work. He's obviously convinced that this is the way that he feels and the time and the circumstances are going to need to be right in order for him to begin to change his way of thinking.

With this said, none of these means that you do not have control over the circumstances. You do. You can continue to interact in positive ways and enjoy the time that you do spend together. I would suggest not pushing him or bringing up how difficult the entire situation is. Just enjoy the time that you have together, show him that being with you actually uplifts rather than drains him, and then have patience that he's going to realize that being alone isn't as wonderful as he thought.

Determining The Optimal Situation For Both Of You: Some married couples do spend a great deal of time alone and some even live separately part of the time. And that is fine as long as this arrangement works well for both people. When it doesn't, then what is the harm in having patience and see if that is going to change? In truth, you are already living separately. So there is no harm in staying the course, trying to be patient and positive, and seeing if he will eventually change his mind. I'd also suggest using this time to work on yourself. I know that it's a difficult thought. It was very hard for me to pursue my own solo life during my separation. But as soon as I forced myself to do so, my husband noticed a big difference in me and this actually helped my situation. And I believe this shift is what started the process of very slowly and gradually saving my marriage.

I'd strongly encourage you to seek support, whether that entails friends, family, a therapist, or whatever the case may be. You may need to just wait and see what is going to happen for a little while without needing to make drastic decisions. And working on yourself is beneficial no matter what is the outcome here. It's positive that the husband is still reaching out. That is something on which you can build.

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"How do I get my husband to love me again?" may be your question. Just about all projects or goals of any size or importance require several steps during a period of time to complete. Projects which might be any level of complexity take time, preparation and staying with it through a number of phases over extended time periods. Setting out to get your husband to love you again is no exception. Choosing to break the destructive relationship cycle isn't any different. Here are tips on how to get your husband to love you again in five easy steps.

Step 1. Quit Being Clingy

This will be important because when your husband feels smothered, he has a tendency to pull away. When you pull away somewhat, he will have the opportunity to initiate making contact again, like he did when you were dating. In the event you skip or ignore this, you will miss out on the opportunity for him to "pursue" you again. If there really is hope for restoration, this will be an essential step, and it will help you answer the question, "How can I get my husband to love me again?"

Step 2. Return to the Characteristics He Fell in Love With

This can be a really critical step that will need your full attention and concentration. You have to do it this way: He was attracted to you once, and he can be again. The reason why you need this is that life sometimes brings pressures that cause both of you to lose some of your earlier excitement and earlier characteristics. Remember what you used to be like. Then take steps to be that person again. Concentrate on one thing at a time. This is a good way to get your husband to love you again.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Step 3. See if Small Things Are Festering

The reason for this is to realize that little irritations can turn into big problems. Have you insisted on things that don't really matter being your way? Maybe you need to "give up" some of your preferences.

Likewise, it is good to talk things over--things that you have avoided. Learn how to come to agreement over small disagreements..

Step 4. Find Out What He Cannot Resist

To explain and amplify on that some: It might take some new information to spice things up a little. This would be especially important if you have let the physical intimacy area of your marriage slip somewhat. He may be tempted to stray. However, if you find out what he can't resist, you have much ammunition for winning the battle of getting him back.

Step 5. Show Him Respect

According to many studies, one of a man's greatest needs is to be respected and admired by his wife.

There is a "love and respect" cycle in many marriages. The husband needs respect, and the wife needs love. If one fails in that area, the other is likely to react and not fulfill his or her part. This is the "destructive relationship cycle" that we referred to earlier. If you want his love again, you will have to make him feel respected.

The cycle works like this: The husband withdraws love. Then the wife withdraws respect. Then the husband resists showing love even more. Then the wife feels like respecting even less, and on and on it can go. If you want to get your husband to love you again, you will have to break the destructive relationship cycle.

Finally, assuming you have kept to the program and followed the tips well, you should have succeeded and will now have fun with the fruits of that success! You can now go on and take steps that will move your marriage toward a state of marital bliss. You could be a little bit pleased with yourself and self-satisfied! You achieved what you set out to accomplish! Savor the sweet taste of success! Now enjoy yourself and your marriage!

If you didn't follow the tips set forth above, well... good luck anyway. You will probably need it...;-)

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For many marriages the honeymoon phase doesn't last. Being married to a man who says he's no longer in love with you is emotionally devastating. You obviously can give up on the relationship and seek a divorce but that's just not the right choice for every woman. There are specific things you can do to get your husband back in love with you if you are determined to save the relationship and keep your family together.

Attitude is everything when you want to get your husband back in love with you. When a couple has been married for some time it's easy to focus on the shortcomings of your partner. Many women fall into this trap and this is what leads to them nagging their husband incessantly. If you do this your husband's feelings for you are bound to change overtime. He'll start to resent you and feel that you just don't appreciate him. If you want to rebuild the relationship you have to stop this behavior right now. Instead of thinking about and commenting on the things about him that aren't appealing to you, focus on the things you love about him. He'll start to notice your positive attitude and it will make him see and feel that you appreciate him more.

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Another thing you must do if you want to get your husband back is to make him your priority again. Think back to early in your relationship and how you viewed his place in your life. You need to recreate that so he feels how important he truly is to you. This can be a bit challenging for women who have children, but you must make it happen. You can do it by planning alone time for just you and your spouse. Enlist the help of family members or friends. Many women find it helpful to trade babysitting services with other families so they both can have some date nights each month with their respective husbands. Your goal is to recapture the romance with your husband so he can fall right back in love with you, the way he did when you two first started dating.

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There comes a time in every marriage that one side questions if the other side still loves them. After all, the hardships of daily life can take their toll on everything and make the partners distant. I was in a similar situation - I thought "my husband isn't attracted to me anymore, what can I do about it?" Yes, our marriage wasn't going very well but I was determined to make my husband fall in love with me a second time. And I was able to do it - so here are my advices for you.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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"My Husband Isn't Attracted to Me Anymore"

The first thing you need to consider is your role in the relationship. Quite often this role changes over the course of the marriage. You are practically sharing your life with your husband - and this includes the hardships and frustrations of your daily life. Moreover, when children arrive, things change altogether. Now, you are a mother, and your husband is a father. It could be the case (and often is the case) that you are not focusing on your husband anymore in favor of doing things as a family. This could mean that you are now a mother more than a wife - and this has a big impact on how your husband perceives you, and thus, how much he is attracted to you. Yes, you are a mother but this doesn't mean that romance has to die.

How to Change Your Role and Shift The Dynamics

When I was feeling "my husband isn't attracted to me anymore", I was later taught that I need to focus upon him to show him that the romance in our relationship didn't have to die. I arranged things to do together, and alone. Seeing a movie, having a picnic, etc... these simple actions, as I later saw, had a huge impact on bringing me and my husband together. So you should also do that and show your husband that your "romantic partner" side is alive and there.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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