My Husband Told Me He Wants A Divorce: How To Communicate With The Spouse Who Wants A Divorce When You Don't Want To Split Up

If your spouse is asking for a divorce and you still want to save your marriage, you may be feeling like all hope is lost. Believe me when I tell you that it isn't! As a matter of fact, thousands of marriages that were thought to be over were saved. Many more could have been saved if only things were handled differently. After nearly watching my own marriage end, I made a critical discovery that changed everything. Don't give up on your marriage until you have tried this!

Many couples resort to the professional help and advice of a marriage counselor or therapist when their marriages are on the rocks. The sad truth about marriage counseling is that it doesn't have a very successful track record at saving marriages! A recent study of couples who attended counseling showed that 8 out of every 10 who tried it found it to be of very little help. To make my point even further, these couples who attended counseling divorced at the same rate as those who didn't go to counseling! Would you go to a doctor with an 80% failure rate? Well isn't that what you are doing when you see Dr. Jones, the marriage counselor?

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So how do you save your marriage when your spouse is asking for a divorce? Obviously, nobody can force someone to stay married if that person doesn't want to stay married. What you CAN do though is begin to change the dynamics of the relationship and cause your spouse to feel differently about the marriage. What do I mean by this? Well, there are certain things that you can do and say, and specific ways that you can behave that have the effect of your spouse suddenly beginning to view the whole idea of divorce versus working to save the marriage instead.

This approach is not normally taught in traditional counseling. The focus is not even on the couple but actually on the marriage! When I stopped trying to force the issue by making all of the common critical mistakes that you must avoid, and instead started doing this instead, everything began to fall into place. Not only was my marriage saved, but my wife and I now have a marriage that is better than it ever was, even when we first got married! All it takes is a firm commitment and a willingness to take immediate action and follow a plan that might seem strange at first.

Pay Close Attention Here-

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

Is my marriage over? No one wants to face or manifest the possible reality of this nightmare. However many married couples face this agonizing battle within themselves everyday. This article will outline and discuss the problems in marriage that lead to this question.

There are usually two very different tones most people utilize to ask this question. Some people ask is my marriage over? In desperation to search for ways to approach or solve their problems in marriage. And there are others who ask this question in disbelief either approaching the reality of a newly sought out divorce, or manifestation of the reality of a miserable marriage.

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Either way you should first ask yourself "is my marriage over?",before parading around asking others especially friends and loved ones. My apologies, but while your support system plays a major role in your life, it is not wise to take advice from friends and family concerning problems in marriage. Specifically because more than likely they are not relationship experts or marriage counselors.

The healthy approach to solving problems in marriage is to seek outside counseling, the message is not that you can not share the details of your life with family and friends. However, the message is that there is a context in which it should be done properly. When we are too close to an issue it difficult to rationalize or step back and see a complete issue. So asking your best friend who doesn't like your husband, "is my marriage over?", probably isn't a wise idea.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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Do you want to keep your marriage from ruining the rest of your life? Well, you pretty much have a 50/50 chance of keeping your marriage together if you believe the statistics regarding the number of marriages that end in divorce each year. Now, I propose to you that it's not that difficult to keep your marriage together and avoid getting caught up in the rat race that gets you what you want instead of what you need.

You see, to keep your marriage together you and your mate simply need to avoid some of the potholes in life that can easily steer your marriage down the wrong path. To keep your marriage on the right road you need to make sure you don't get trapped.

Ok, what are these traps I'm saying to avoid that will help your marriage and keep you together?

Keep Your Marriage - Avoid Trap # 1

The first trap to avoid if you want to maintain your relationship is to make sure you don't allow friends and family to have significant input into your marriage. It is very easy for folks to advise you on all aspects of marriage from where to live, how many kids to have, how to be married yet maintain your own identity or how to be the ideal spouse.

Don't get me wrong but it's very easy to get use to discussing your marriage with others. You will get so comfortable that you will often times have others shape your attitude or opinion and cloud your ability to effectively communicate. In fact, if you want to keep your marriage strong you will discuss the important aspects of your marriage with the most important person, your spouse.

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Keep Your Marriage - Avoid Trap # 2

Working to provide a secure, safe and abundant lifestyle for your family can also lead to a disastrous end to your marriage if you don't keep your guard up. I understand that these difficult financial times that we live in requires extra effort to just keep your job. However, there is a healthy balance you must strike between work and family.

You must constantly examine your work schedule and priorities. Are you doing enough to try to be efficient during regular work hours so you can get home to your family? Are you delegating tasks that others should be doing? Why are others getting home early enough or are off on weekends to attend kids sporting events or weekend getaways but you never find the time to do so?

If you can't easily recall the dinners, events or quality family times you have had over two week periods you probably are caught in the trap of thinking you have to sacrifice family time to be a good provider. Unfortunately, what you are doing is keeping your marriage and family from receiving the love and support they need from you.

Sure, they will remember the nice house, cars and annual vacations but what you will here from your spouse during the divorce is that you were never there physically or emotionally. Your kids, if you have any, will let you know that you weren't there for games or plays or important milestones.

Keep your marriage simply by choosing to be at home and not looking out the office windows at dinner time or on weekends.

Work extra hours when you have to not because you think you need to. Just because your boss (who may be divorced, separated and miserable) stays to midnight it doesn't mean you should too, unless you also want to be divorced, separated and miserable.

I hope you keep your marriage happy and healthy by avoiding the traps that can easily ruin your marriage and family. You don't have to end up on the wrong side of the marriage statistics.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

As we hang ornaments on Christmas trees, we are reminded of the characteristics that make a successful marriage. The stress, the tension, the busy life-style or financial worries often cause a marriage to hang by a thread at Christmas; you may be thinking about divorce. As you decorate this season, it is a good time to evaluate the success of your wedding vows.

As you hang the fish ornament for the fisherman of the family, think of the blessings that you have shared with your spouse-the love, children, trips, and gifts.

Maslow said that to have success, people should have love, food, a dwelling and security. After that all thinks fall into place. Hang a house ornament to remind your family of the foundation of a home.

Many ornaments have hearts on them. A heart reminds a couple that true love creates a lasting relationship that goes into eternity. Why did you marry in the first place? Was it for love? Love covers a multitude of mistakes; one Writer in the Bible says.

Do you have an ornament with a rose on it? Let that remind you of the honor and affection that you have for one another. Think about the smiles, the laughs, the hugs, the kisses and the intimacy you've shared during your life together.

Most trees have angel ornaments. The Bible says that angels guard and protect us. Sometimes angels come in human forms. They come in the form of pastors, friends or relatives who can be role models and give you guidance in making decisions about your marriage and even pray for you, if you desire.

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Some people collect teapot ornaments, which represents hospitality and openness of heart. Recall the good times that you've had at social events or doing something that may have meant sacrifice on the part of the partner.

Occasionally you have an ornament or decoration that has a rabbit. Rabbits represent hope in the future. Make a list of the things that would make your marriage successful in your eyes. Take time to talk with your spouse. Communicate about the blessings you enjoyed, the sad times and the future.

Find a bird of joy and hang on your tree. Let this represent the joy and faith that your marriage will last a lifetime.

Your live tree represents the lasting power of your marriage. As you view the pine cones on it, evaluate the fruitfulness or blessings of your marriage. Think about children, your surroundings, your health and most of all your love.

Hang a fruit basket on the tree to remind you that with prosperity comes responsibility. Mentally fill that basket with peace of mind, love for one another, joy of sharing a life together.

Hang a flower basket on the tree to remind you to fill your life with happiness, understanding, compassion and communication.

Don't let your marriage hang by a thread this Christmas. Keep your marriage from falling and shattering in divorce. Use some of this advice to hang onto your wedding vows and keep your commitment to have a lasting relationship through your marriage.

Decorating a tree takes time, energy and patience. Yet it is a work of art when you finish. Your marriage requires the same effort.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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