My Husband Wants A Divorce Then Changed His Mind: He Keeps Changing His Mind About Our Relationship

What do you do when your husband wants to leave you, but you want to save your marriage? This can be one tough decision. On one hand, you love your husband. Yes, you know there are problems in the marriage, but you don't think ending the marriage and breaking up the family is the answer. On the other hand, your husband wants to leave you and any kind of relationship requires two people to commit.... one wants out, he or she is out. So, what do you do?

The answer is very counter-intuitive. That is why it is very hard to save a marriage by yourself - the correct things to do are all very counter intuitive, meaning they are not what you would think you would need to do. For example, when your husband first said (or made it clear) that he wanted out, your first reaction was probably to either cry, beg, or simply try to change his mind by talking. Whatever it was, I am sure it was more about fighting that decision. However, this is not how you save your marriage when your husband wants to leave you.

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What you need to do, the counter intuitive thing, is NOT to fight with your husband. You have to acknowledge the fact that for whatever reason, your husband wants out of the marriage. Now is not the time to change his mind. He has done the thinking and come to the conclusion that he is better off without you. If you fight him and do not give him the opportunity to be alone (which is the very thing he thinks he needs) that "need" will just get bigger and bigger in his head and then the whole thing will become much worse.

The right thing to do in this situation is to offer a trial separation. From his side, it makes a lot of sense. He is getting to be alone, which is what he wants. But it is like the demo of being single again - if he wants to stay that way you two can go ahead and get a divorce.

How it works for you, is: Your husband wants to leave you, and has an idea about how life will be without you. But it is not going to be that way. The neighbor's grass is always greener -when he is without you, he will understand that life is not like as he thought it would be. He will begin to appreciate all the little values you were putting in his life, and he will come back. This is what usually happens after trial separations.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

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If you happen to be in the position where your marriage appears to be in jeopardy and you are trying your best to save it, you fall in the category of many people who are desperate to fix an almost broken union. I was in that position and it wasn't until I learned a very important concept that I was able to save my marriage. That concept basically dictates that you will not be able to save your marriage or maintain a healthy union by simply self-sacrificing.

This basically means that you will not be able to solve the problems in your marriage by continuing to offer compromises to your spouse. This is not a reliable technique when you find that your marriage is coming closer and closer to the end of the road. Sure, self-sacrificing might work in cases where your marriage is somewhat stable, but it is definitely not a good idea if you recognize how much trouble your marriage is in.

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Let me explain from my own experiences. My husband advised one day that he wanted to get a divorce, which completely shocked and devastated me. The more I tried to change his mind by offering endless compromises, the more I appeared to be desperate and begging for him to stay. However, what I did not realize is that the more begging I did was the more fed up my husband became with me. It seemed that my marriage was destined to fail at that point, however, I was quite lucky enough to correct my mistakes and change the course of my life.

In order to save your marriage, you need to do what I did, and that is learning to play the game according to the rules. Hands down, the whole begging fiasco just does not work. The only way you will get your spouse to love you and have the desire to come back is by showing how much you are worth. Show that you can be independent and strong without them, as it is a law of the universe that people will suddenly start to drift towards things that they cannot have.

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In life, we always question ourselves when we undergo a severe or life changing trial. We question our capabilities to surpass the trials, we question our motives for why we have are undergoing such trial and we even question those who are with us with the trials, like family, friends or even loved one. When a marriage is on the line, no matter how grave the trial may be, it is not an exception to being questioned.

When we find ourselves questioning our marriage, this would be the most daunting task that we have to face sooner or later. Marriage is the most fragile of all relationships, something that we cannot afford to lose, even for the most petty of all break up reasons and scenarios. Arguments in a marriage can often lead us to this question "Why did I get married in the first place?" and we often get different answers from the one that we gave before we got married? The tendency is that people often overlook the real reason why they got married in the first place. The love that made them get married slowly diminishes and fades with each passing unsolved argument, leading eventually to a break up point. Breaking up in a marriage is not an option, nor should it be encouraged. Yes, we all know the current trend of how people get divorced easily in other countries and this is partly the reason why marriage is now becoming a trend as well because there is an easy way out. The real essence of marriage is lost nowadays, thinking of it as a commodity or trend and not a lifetime obligation of loving your partner.

It's sad when married couples break up for a variety of reasons. Engaged couples or dating couples are sometimes expected to break up for even the pettiest reasons but when married couples break up for the same reason, it's tragic. Of course, with the current lifestyle, I wouldn't be surprised at the alarming increasing rate of divorce in some countries. Breaking up should be the last thing or heck shouldn't even be contemplated on when arguing with your husband or wife. There is always a way to fix things in a civilized and proper manner and if things can still be fixed, like marriage, then it should be worth fixing.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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A woman effectively signs an exclusive contract of faithfulness with her man by entering into a relationship, but she often complains that it's tough to keep a man faithful in a long term relationship, because he stops doing those little things for her that he used to do.

Are you also one of those women who find it difficult to keep their men faithful to them? If you are, you aren't alone. You just need to understand the attributes a man look for in a relationship and play the game according to his psychology. Here are some proven ways in which you have an opportunity to make your man faithful forever.

Make Your Home Better

After a stressful day at work, your man undoubtedly wants to spend some enjoyable and relaxing time at home, because his home is his castle. A better home creates a vision of a happy life for him. So, If you can make your home better, you can keep your man faithful forever.

For example: Your bedroom is the most important and inviting room in your home, because it's a place for lovemaking and relaxation. Pick the right lighting, bed sheets, candles, flowers, and fragrance for creating a peaceful atmosphere. Use soothing colors - like light blue and light green - that can keep your man calm, cool, and collected.

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Variety is The Spice of Life

One way to keep your man faithful includes adding variety into your life. You don't have to do something dramatic to add variety, just small shifts in thinkings and actions can keep the love sparkle in your lifestyle.

Reconnect with old friends, use fun to change habits, try new foods, travel to new places, or learn new skills. Don't just sit there thinking about the faithfulness of your relationship, because you have the power to add variety to life and make it exciting and new as needed. Jump into actions and make your relationship's everyday new and better than yesterday.

The Endless Mystery

Men are always looking for mysterious women. The mystery behind a woman is one of the key elements for keeping a man attracted, because there is something very exciting and seductive about mysterious women that captivates their curiosity.

If your husband already knows everything about you, he won't waste his time thinking about you. It's that simple. Smile as if you have secret, have lots of feminine passion, be calm in every conversation, use slow body language, and be authoritative in your work. These traits are very mysterious and magnetic for a man.

Now Listen Carefully-

Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here

Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com