My Mom Thinks That My Husband Is Going To Divorce Me And That I'm Holding Onto False Hope: My Mom Hates My Husband

I sometimes hear from people who are determined to still hold out hope for their marriage, even in the face of a marital separation. This isn't as easy as you might think. People sometimes think that holding onto hope is as easy as telling yourself that this is all mind over matter. The assumption is that if you are successful with this, then you won't have any doubts about your decision. I can tell you from my own experience that this is not true. Very often, you have to fight very hard to keep that hope alive. Sure, you have doubts. You wouldn't be an observant and reasoning human being if you did not. You see and hear what is going on around you. But you chose to process it in such a way that allows for things to remain open ended. You realize that things might not work out in the way that you wanted, but you're not willing to just concede defeat quite yet.

This is a huge challenge. There may even be times where you actually try to accept that your marriage is over and you find that you can not do it. There's even more challenges when well meaning family members who you know and love you weigh in with their own opinions.

A wife might complain: "yesterday, my mother told me that she had something very important to discuss with me. She acted all serious about this. So we sat down and she told me that, because she loved me, she felt the need to tell me that she can't stand to see me having wasted hope on my marriage. I have been separated from my husband for seven months. During that time, we have had some good weeks and some bad weeks. Lately, we have had more bad weeks. But I haven't lost hope. My husband hasn't filed for divorce and he hasn't talked about doing so. My theory is as long as we are talking and we are not divorced, then there is still hope. My mother says that I am wrong about this. She says that I need to accept that he is never coming back. I asked her what she was basing her opinion on. And she said that it is just taking too long and that if a man wanted to come back to his wife, he would have already done it. Now, I have to add that my mother has not spoken with or seen my husband since our separation. She has not seen us together. All she knows about us is what I tell her. I know that she loves me. And I know that she knows me better than anyone else. It hurts me so badly that she has come to this conclusion. Part of me feels defensive. She doesn't really have all of the information. And part of me worries that maybe she knows something that I don't."

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I know that this is painful. And I know that you don't want to be angry at your mother. But I have been there. My parents and my friends encouraged me to give up on my marriage. And they loved my husband. They wanted it to work out between us. But after he left and they saw how broken hearted I was waiting for a resolution, they just wanted for this to end for me so that I could begin to recover. And that is when they started telling me that maybe it was time to walk away.

I went back and forth between being angry at them and admitting that they had my best interest at heart. But in the end, I decided that it was no one's decision but my own. Because as much as my family and friends were invested in my marriage, it wasn't anyone's marriage but my own.

I did ultimately save my marriage. But after many conversations and much soul searching, I did modify my strategy to try to get my husband back. Instead of clinging so tightly, I chose to back away somewhat. I still held onto my hope. But I didn't evaluate it day by day. I just told myself that I would wait and see but in the meantime, I started to focus on myself.

And I understood that part of what my family and friends were saying didn't have everything to do with my marriage. It was just that they saw me losing myself. And they were absolutely right about this. That was insight that was very useful to me. And it changed the outcome dramatically. I am very grateful that they cared enough to point this out to me. And that was the start of my making myself a very high priority. I started to value myself as much as I valued my marriage and my husband. I started asking myself what I wanted and needed out of the whole thing, which was a question that I had never asked before.

That is why I wouldn't come down too harshly on your loved ones. In their minds, they are acting out of love and they are trying to help. But they don't know your marriage. They can not see into the future. And it is not up to them what you do in terms of your marriage or how much hope you still chose to have.

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For the final time, you want to give your best shot. You want to save your marriage but you know that after this, you will no longer have the courage that you need in order to fight more. It's the final straw. So what shall you really do? How to save a marriage?

Here are the best 3 steps that you can do in order to answer your question on "how can you save a marriage?"

First of all, change the manner that you would normally respond to your spouse the moment when a fight is about to begin. The problem with couple is that they know each other very well hence they are aware of the tactics that their partner will most likely do in response to a fight. If you would normally shout on the top of your lungs when a fight begins, try to simply shut your mouth so your partner would understand the hurt that you feel. Furthermore, doing this will help hinder the two of you from seriously wounding each other. So the moment when your spouse starts to say harsh words, respond in a calmer manner. So, how can you save a marriage by doing this? The reason is simply because there is actually no sense why you should retort back in anger because this will merely fuel up the hatred. Allow him to shout as much as he wanted and the moment when he becomes subside, it's the right time to talk to him calmly. Just in case responding to the argument is needed then you can do it in a positive manner. Changing the negative behavior that you used to do will save much stress and tension.

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After doing the above rule, the next thing to do on how to save a marriage is to understand his weaknesses and strengths. Do not ridicule him for the wrong things that he had done and try to let him know that you recognized his strength. This will allow you to be part again of his life while on the other hand; he will see that above anyone else, you are the best person who understands him. Allow yourself to have long conversation with your husband about your desires in life. Talk about what the two of you wishes to become later on in .life. By simply allowing each other to know that they are being supported will create a big change in terms of how they will react with one another.

The last big step is to rekindle your love with one another. Go out with only the two of you. It is not wrong to leave your kids at home from time to time. This is a good trick to bring back the magic that you both had shared. Do this at least once a week because the more you interact with one another, the better the chance of ending up in one another's arms again.

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If you're looking for information on how to rebuild your marriage, you're obviously going through a challenging time with your spouse. Marriages start to crumble for a variety of reasons and once the damage is done, it often feels like the only choice is to divorce. If you don't want to go down this road and your goal is to not only keep your family together but to build a stronger, more loving connection with your spouse, this can be done. With some focused determination, thoughtful guidance and patience you can transform your marriage into the relationship of your dreams.

Learning how to rebuild your marriage begins with recognizing that without respectful communication you don't stand a chance of saving the relationship. Communication is one of those areas that many married couples struggle with. Either they don't communicate at all or they do talk but don't listen to each other. You can't accomplish anything if you aren't hearing what your spouse is telling you and if you don't feel they are absorbing what you're sharing. That's why you need to make communication a priority. To do this you need to set aside some uninterrupted time for the two of you to talk. This means no distractions at all so if you need to wait until the children are in bed, do it. If you have to arrange for a sitter, make that happen. Then you need to make an agreement with your spouse that you won't interrupt one another. Try very hard not to be defensive with them and really listen to what they tell you. Although it may hurt to hear them sharing their innermost feelings with you, it's fundamentally important to rebuilding your connection with them. You can learn so much just from spending a few moments listening to your partner express what they're feeling.

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You've also got to make your partner a priority in your life if you want to rebuild your marriage. It's easy to allow the stresses of everyday life to monopolize your time. This is particularly true of couples who are parents. Children can be demanding and tending to them, in addition to pursuing your career can leave little time for connecting with your spouse. You need to always make time for them though as this is essential to rebuilding your bond. There's no need to go out on expensive dates or invest money in a weekend getaway. Doing things as simple as making a bowl of popcorn and watching a movie together after the children go to sleep is a great idea. Even going out each evening for a walk around the neighborhood can help you two to reconnect.

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Divorce rate is increasing which means more and more couples are having a hard time keeping a marriage and end up in separation. Marriage is a complex relationship and you need to exert more efforts to stay married and happy. There are ups and downs in a marriage and if you do not know how to deal with it, divorce or separation might happen.

It is not impossible to stay married and happy for as long as you live because there are people who spend their lifetime being married to the same woman or man. My parents have been married for 40 years now and they are still happy and enjoying each other's company. Marriage is a journey that they both enjoy.

Here are some tips to stay married and happy:

Respect your spouse. Marriage is not only about you but it is also about your spouse. There are two people in a marriage, understanding and respecting each other's rights is important to stay married and happy. You do not have to argue who is right and wrong but respect to each other will help you both avoid arguments and misunderstanding.

Constant communication. The key to a strong marriage is a constant communication. If you are talking on a regular basis, you will both establish a connection and closeness through the years. Of course you will not only talk about problems or issues in your marriage but you will also talk about the joys and happiness of being married. Women are often vocal about their feelings and other issues but you should also know when to stop talking and listen more to your spouse. Men are less of a talker most of the time, it would be helpful if you become more open to express your feelings and communicate more to your spouse. Communication is the key to stay married and happy.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Loyalty and dedication. In today's world it is very easy not to be dedicated and loyal to your spouse. There are a lot of temptations that could take your loyalty away from your spouse. It could be another woman, another man, your job and other things. Although most men and women now are career oriented, you both have to arrive at some point and ask yourself what is more important, the family or the career? When it comes to temptation with another man or woman, is it all worth it to put your marriage at risk just for another man or woman? Loyalty and dedication to your spouse could be really hard but you have to try your best to stay married and happy.

Accept your spouse weaknesses. If you love your spouse, it comes with a complete package. You love your spouse not only for their strengths but you also have to embrace their weaknesses. We are humans, we make mistakes and the most important thing is that you have the tolerance to accept those mistakes and you are beside him or her to deal with those mistakes. If you have the patience and understanding that your spouse need, then you have the chance to stay married and happy.

Sexual satisfaction. Sex is a very important aspect of any marriage and it is important that you can give the satisfaction that your spouse deserves. Accept it or not, sexual dissatisfaction is one of the reasons why some marriages don't last. If one is not sexually satisfied, he or she might look for that satisfaction elsewhere. To prevent this from happening, you must know your spouse desires and learn how to meet those desires. You must be open-minded to discuss sex with your spouse and be ready to learn new things to make sex more exciting and satisfying for both of you.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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