Saving Marriage After Baby: Marital Problems After Baby

When you first met your spouse, and right after you were married, everything was so new and fresh and alive! But, as with a lot of couples, marriages can get stale and you need to breathe new life into the relationship every now and then. There are many ways you can breathe new life into a marriage in crisis, here are two important things to do:

Get Some Relationship Advice:
Many times we think we can figure out what is wrong with our marriage on our own. And, truth be told getting outside relationship advice is one of the most overlooked opportunities that couples try. And, because they don't try this they often find their marriage has moved from crisis to death.

In reality, getting relationship advice, or marriage counseling as some people refer to it, can help you tremendously as a couple. The reason for this is that relationship experts are objective and can help you not only identify the real underlying issues in your marriage but they can help find a resolution to your current conflicts and help you find ways to grow closer.

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The other way it can help is that relationship experts can show you ways to communicate with each other more effectively than you can on your own. They prevent you from attacking each other, accusing each other and doing a host of negative things that will only make your relationship worse. They can give you tips and tricks to breathe new life into the marriage. They can also help you identify if you or your spouse have issues that need deeper counseling and show you how to get private therapy to deal with those issues. These are things couples can rarely do on their own because they have too much emotion invested into the relationship.

Get A New Point of View:
From your vantage point you may think you have all the answers. But if you just stop and try to look at things from your partner's point of view you may find that you will understand your partner's issues a little clearer. From the viewpoint of trying to see things from the other person's perspective things will begin to look different and you will have a clearer understanding of what needs to be done. Again, a relationship expert can be very helpful in this area. Because an understanding heart helps to soften the tension when a marriage is in crisis. This softening makes it easier for the two of you to adjust and make positive changes.

The next thing you need to do is to take action. Suggestions given to you by your relationship expert or marriage counselor have to be acted upon in order for you to get your marriage out of crisis mode and into the loving new life you want the two of you to have. You now know what you need to do to save your marriage, but knowing is only half the battle, doing, taking action is a must for this to work.

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It is easy for couples to get so caught up in the stresses of daily living that self care and nurturing the relationship are on the back burner. There are ways of replenishing energy. We need energy for our jobs, for relating with others, for daily living and most of all to feel vibrant.

When we feel stressed our body is signaling that it is time to reassess our priorities.

Here are ways to regain energy.

1. Creating physical energy

Are you eating foods that give you energy or are you going for foods that end up depleting your energy? Are you getting adequate sleep. What we know is that people who are under a lot of stress usually do not get enough rest. Think of sleep as a necessary refueling stop for replenishing energy. A daily walk can do wonders for clearing the mind and refueling the body.

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2. Creating emotional energy

We can increase our emotional energy in many different ways. Much energy is drained by not addressing worries and concerns. By using words to address issues energy is directed towards finding solutions. Another way to relieve emotional stress is to establish rituals. They give order to life and free up energy for other endeavors. One of the best ways to create emotional energy is to decide to develop a positive attitude. It is a sure way to start building the emotion muscle.

3. Are you nurturing your relationship?

By taking care of yourself you will have more energy for bringing up the relationship stresses. Relationships also need to be nurtured in order to grow. Nurturing comes from getting away from who is right and who is wrong and focusing in on problem solving. Asking the question of what can we do so the stress level will not tear us apart. Be sure to make your concerns small enough so they can begin to be handled in the present. Remember that relationships grow by addressing worries and concerns and by showing gratitude and love.

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This case study summarizes an example of individual and couple's marriage Online Counseling processes.

The process of Online Counseling starts with you, I informed J., my client; not with your husband. I was not trying to add to her sorrow, stress and anger by saying this and assured her that I was in no way implying that what she did for her "family's sake" was incorrect. I simply advised that before she could set things right for her family, J. needed to situate things right with herself first. Through our first session it became obvious that J's anger and confusion over the memory of the event was still there.

The story is about loving mother and wife that recently discovered that her husband (of 33 years) had been unfaithful. In her own words: "For the family's sake, I accepted his apology and promise that it would never happen again." She therefore encouraged her daughters to give him a second chance. This had all occurred about two months ago and things seemed to be back to normal in her household. Except that J. just couldn't forget that he had cheated on her.

J. started her Online Counseling sessions since she was worried, over anxious and stressed about whether she could truly trust him again and was concerned about being hurt again. Another issue was her fear regarding setting a poor example of tolerance for her daughters to follow in.

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My experience with situations like hers showed that a period of about 2-3 sessions of Online Counseling was normally enough for most clients to move into a new and better sustainable place for their relationship, as they start to reflect on their own behavior and take responsibility for their part of the marriage that brought the spouse(s) to react as they did. It was easy for me to address HER concerns for her daughters during our first Online Counseling session. I decided to share with her MY concern: she focused on repairing her family relationship prior taking the time to begin her own personal healing. I let her know my feelings: she appeared to have been re-acting to her situation instead of dealing with it.

Psychologically speaking, I explained, it is easy to choose retaliation in time of stress, shame and anger. I did not hide my impression that she reacted to the situation by (unfortunately) making the mistake of pulling her children into the marital issues and therefore complicating things even more.

The Online Counseling process with J. confirmed the old wisdom that psychological processes do not erase memories; they heal them. This is being done by zooming in on the "WHY" and examining the fundamental deteriorating factors. Only thereafter the Online Counseling process can deal with the "WHAT NEXT" question, which was addressed via five sessions of couple Online Counseling.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.

If you find that understanding men is not your forte, this article will give you a tip on how to really attract a man and get him to chase after you.

Heaps of guys dig fit girls. There's no other way to put it. It's the same with us, we know, but having a girl who looks after their body is very attractive. Not just because it makes you look hotter too.

We are all biologically programmed to procreate and make babies. If you look after your body, that tells us guys that your womb is safe, strong and healthy, meaning that the chance of having babies that are born unhealthy is very low.

It might sound sort of crude, but that's the truth.

It's the same with us, looking after our bodies means that our sperm is healthy as well and that the chance of having a baby during intercourse is high.

There have been so many incidences where guys have dumped girls as soon as they've gotten fat. It's probably because of that deeply embedded biological "program". We don't want to be with a girl who doesn't look after herself, since that means that her ability to look after a child will also be negatively affected.

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Fitness is a sort of passion. When you're at the gym, doing your thing, and I mean actually putting in the hard yards to keep fit, not just showing off your boobs and butt off to horny males, guys can't help but be attracted by that.

It means you're fun loving, want the most out of life and have a better work-life balance than other women (who might just work, go home and eat ice cream everyday).

Even if it's just jogging once a week, make a start. We'll like you all the more for it. If you're serious about understanding men, then you should start doing this. It's better for you and will increase the chances that you will find a man.

Staying fit is shows that you respect yourself and us men cannot help but feel attracted to women who respect themselves. Show us that you value yourself highly and we'll value you highly as well.

If you want a few other exercises that you could have a go at doing, here are a few that my wife and I do on a daily basis:

1. Push ups: increases upper body strength

2. Sit ups: increases lower back strength

3. Sprinting: increases cardiovascular endurance and makes you fitter in general.

Do any one of these and I guarantee you, you'll be getting a lot more attention from your man.

Now Listen Carefully-

Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here

Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: