Staying In Marriage For Child: In A Loveless Marriage With Children

One of the most commonly asked questions by couples is should they keep their relationship going simply for the children. In many cases this is done so that there can be some sense of peace in the household and that the children in this household can grow up well-adjusted with two loving parents, but the only problem is there really isn't two loving parents at all. Even if you keep the same routine and you go through the motions with each other, it's not love and your children will be able to pick up on that.

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Also if you stay together just for your kid's sake, then you will inevitably begin to start fighting with each other, and that has a tremendous negative effect on the children. The fact is that staying together for your kids does much more harm than getting a divorce does. There are certainly steps you can take to prevent a divorce from occurring, but in the end it's up to you to decide what is right for you as a couple.

You could try marriage or family counseling which may help your relationship with each other as well as with your kids. It has been proven to help many couples and families overcome problems and hardships dealing with multiple situations. If you truly care about your kids and your partner then you will do what is truly right for them, not what you think they want to see. Just think about what is in your children's best interest in the long term.

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The leading cause of divorce in my opinion is not dealing with marriage problems early and often. All couples need to do is use their 5 senses to uncover marriage problems early on and fix them before they get too big to handle.

Sight - Being able to see your beautiful spouse is what probably got you two together in the first place. It could have been the sexy smile or innocent caring glance or just the attractive body you noticed. It was as though you could see right into his or her heart. You had 20/20 vision and could see clearly into the future and what you saw was spending the rest of your life together.

Now, fast forward to today! What happened to your ability to see the outer and inner beauty? The problem most likely is you lost focus. To solve your marriage problems refocus your priorities and make understanding the needs and desires of your spouse the most important thing in your life and your marriage issues will begin to disappear.

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Hearing - Listen carefully and your marriage problems will be heard load and clear. Your spouse is probably trying to communicate with you but because your marriage problems have made you defensive, you don't really hear what is being said. Pay attention and managing your marriage problems will be easier.

Touch - What happens when you touch your spouse? Do they seem receptive or disgusted by your touch? This is a big clue into what's going on in your marriage. If you find it difficult to hug, caress and kiss your spouse this is a clear warning sign of trouble in your marriage. You will know when things are getting better in your marriage when touching is viewed as pleasure and not pain.

Smell - Hard to relate to this one for some but using the smell sense you can sniff out marriage issues. Have you heard of the expression "something doesn't smell right here"? Well hopefully it's not bad perfume or cologne. But, what if your spouse changed fragrances? Would you know or care? Well you should if your marriage problems are minimal. Get to know your spouses likes and dislikes and cater to them to improve your marriage.

Taste - Give your marriage a taste of what it's like to be problem free. If you deal with your marriage problems early on your marriage will taste good and you will have a strong liking for each other.

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Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where we are living our lives around other people but not with them. You got married in the first place to spend the rest of your life with that person but you just don't feel like spending anytime with them at all. There are things you can do to make your relationship go back to the way it was when you first fell in love.

1. First of all, you need to accept that something has to change. You've gotten to this point where you are unhappy but you have to change something to make it better. This is a very important step because you may feel like you don't have to do anything, that things should just fall into place if your marriage was supposed to be. The reality is that marriage takes work and it takes work to get along with anyone at all but it is most important to put in the effort to get along with your spouse.

2. Secondly you need to accept some of the responsibility for letting things get the way they are. Marriage is a two way street and one person can't be responsible for destroying a relationship without the permission of the other. This is a very profound idea to understand because even though you may not have done anything wrong at all, the fact is that you did nothing to stop what has happened and you have to accept that responsibility.

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3. As a part of the healing process, you have to share your own feelings. Let your partner know how you feel, what made you feel that way and any other things you feel they should know. Try to be as open and honest as possible and take as much time as you need to share those feelings that might cause you to freeze or hide.

4. As well as sharing your own feelings, you need to listen and accept the feelings and thoughts of your partner. This can sometimes be difficult because you might feel that they are attacking you and you will want to defend yourself, but you need to listen, hold your piece and truly listen to them. You will learn things that you never imagined you did to them but people get hurt in different ways and it is important to understand that.

5. Now it's time to hit the reset button. This is probably one of the most important tools that couples don't realize that they have. You can go back to a place before the confusion and chaotic lifestyle. All you have to do, is apologize to your partner and genuinely forgive them for the things that they have done. Forgiveness might take some time but even just working on it is a commitment to change that you and your partner will recognize and appreciate.

Our lives do get out of hand and no marriage is impervious to the dangers of distance between partners. Always remember to make time for each other and if you feel like you need more help, seek it out. There is nothing more precious and valuable in this life that being able to share ourselves with someone else.

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A Christian marriage retreat is a wonderful way to learn how to celebrate not only your own marriage, but also relish in the tranquility, joy, and ecstasy of being surrounded by like minded Christian couples who all hold true the same values, ideals, and often goals (how to become a better Christian) that you have.

There are some essentials to bring along to a Christian marriage retreat that will enhance your experience. Mainly these should be items that are somehow "share-worthy" with the group of other couples.

1. Yahtzee. Well, alright, it doesn't have to be Yahtzee, but me and my Lovely always prefer Yahtzee. But essentially any sort of group board type game where fun can be had amidst a group of strangers. There really is nothing like a simple board game to do the trick. On our last Christian marriage retreat a couple had brought along their own manipulated Monopoly board game where instead of an old shoe or tire iron as game pieces, they had a dozen or so patron saints to choose from and instead of buying properties like Park Place or Marvin Gardens, you could buy the Vatican! Needless to say, hours of fun...

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2. Your Christian Object. A retreat is part show and tell. Many people will bring along their favorite Christian object and share it amongst the group. Those without a object often feel left out, wishing they would have brought something along to share during the Christian marriage retreat. Since we as followers of Christianity sometimes rely on material objects to enhance our religious experience, your Christian object should enhance something about the strong religious bond existing within your own Christian marriage. Be it jewelry, sculpture, a certain candle to be lit, or even a powerful photograph, there are many options for a object. I've even encountered someone who brought a vial of holy water from there hometown church, which they bring along with them everywhere and whenever they "need a little faith", apparently they would give a one finger dash of holy to there forehead. The vial was passed around at the Christian marriage retreat and we all had a little hometown splash!

3. Intimacy tools, literature, information. Often neglected at a retreat is shared information amongst couples about how to enhance intimacy within marriage. Mixing Christianity with marriage intimacy can be challenging and many questions abound. What a better way to educate yourselves and educate others by sharing in intimacy discussions. One easy method someone did at a retreat was pass out questioneers on how they enhance sexual intimacy within marriage. It was completely anonymous and at the end we all got copies of the answers. We certainly learned a lot, and found out more resources on where to learn more!

A retreat can be incredibly fun; not only a time to share, but a time to learn and find out how to be a better and more intimate married couple!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

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