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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Closing Westgate Hall: The Psychological Consequences - by Submitted on May 25, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperThe fact that the Westgate Hall in Canterbury is under threat, is not news to me. I have known this to be the case for over 6 months or more, and I will admit that I didn’t think much of it at first. So, you may be wondering at this point, what has made me finally take notice and reflect on the ...
Views: 1925 - Critical Thinking: Is The George Floyd Situation An Example Of How The Elite Manipulate The Masses? - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperEven if someone doesn’t pay much attention to what is taking place in the mainstream media, they are likely to have a heard that a black man in America was killed by a white policeman and be aware of the protests that have ensued. These are protests have taken place throughout America and in ...
Views: 507 - Dependency: Can Trapped Emotions Cause Dependency? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIn the area of self development and recovery the term co-dependency have been used for many years. And this generally describes someone who is not interdependent or independent; they are completely dependent on others or on certain substances. This is something that can relate to every need ...
Views: 1968 - Intellectual Boundaries: Why Do Some People Believe Anything? - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperInformation can be empowering and disempowering and what one person finds useful might not be seen in the same way by another. But with personal opinion aside, information is vital for the growth of an individual and for humanity as a whole. Without it, very little would change and regression, ...
Views: 2867 - Mother Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother Enmeshed Man Need To Change His Perception? - by Submitted on May 28, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is “enmeshed” to his mother, it is likely to mean that he didn’t receive what he needed to receive during his early years. Therefore, he hasn’t simply chosen to become entangled with his mother as an adult; he has always been this way. What this means is that it is not just about him ...
Views: 142 - Relationships: Is It Impossible To Have A Relationship With Someone Who Lacks Empathy? - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIf one has the desire to be in a relationship, they could have a clear idea about the kind of person that they want to be with. Perhaps one is at the stage of their life where they want to settle down and have children. But even if this isn’t the case, they might want to find someone who is ...
Views: 1283 - Relationships: Why Do Some Women Find It Hard To Say No? - by Submitted on Jan 26, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIn today’s world, it is not uncommon for women to be in positions of great power and responsibility. They often have more control in their career and relationships and are not as limited as previous generations were. This is not to say that this sense of inner empowerment has become the norm for ...
Views: 1835 - “People Will Do Anything, No Matter How Absurd, To Avoid Facing Their Own Souls” - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperA number of weeks ago I watched “A Dangerous Method” and this was about a stage of Carl Jung’s life. Watching this film gave me the urge to find out more about him and since that time, a number of his quotes have caught my attention. One that has stood out is, “People will do anything, no ...
Views: 593 - "Did You Feel The Need To Tell Me You Were Gay?" - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperA number of years ago I developed a close friendship with someone, and while they had been with members of the opposite sex, they were now attracted to members of the same sex. This was something that became perfectly clear when they spoke about this area of their life, after we had been friends ...
Views: 1112 - "I Am The Centre Of The Universe!” - by Submitted on Jun 15, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I was out walking the other day, I was thinking about what can happen in someone’s adult years if they were violated and made to feel insignificant during their early years. What came to mind first was the kind of person who acts as though they are the centre of the universe. Through ...
Views: 907 - "I Felt Accepted!" - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperAfter I had got back from Bali and Australia, towards the end of 2009, I was no longer the same person. What had also played a part here were the experiences that I had when I was on a course in Belgium, which took place just before I went away. Ultimately, I wanted to continue from where I ...
Views: 1517 - "I Felt Invalidated By My Therapist!" - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it became clear that I felt the need to be loyal to my father, towards the end of 2015, and that this was holding me back, I knew that I needed to do something else. The emotional processing work that I was doing at this time wasn’t having much of an impact on this issue. The Wrong ...
Views: 1179 - "I Walked On Eggshells As A Child!" - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIf I wanted to ask my mother something when I was younger, I would often wait until there were guests around. The reason for this was that I knew that there was less chance of my mother raising her voice or losing her temper. Through having other guests around or oven just one person, it ...
Views: 1157 - "I Wanted To Rescue Women!" - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperI remember when I was seeing a woman towards the end of 2011, who was going through a challenging time. She wasn’t in a good place, and this meant that I tried to do what I could to help her. This primarily took place through listening to what she had to say and offering advice. I was also ...
Views: 1043 - "I Was Attacked Twice!" - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperI remember being with a friend and doing some pad work; we were both taking turns to punch and kick the pad. After a while we both needed something to drink, so we headed over to the shop. Interestingly, my friend said that if we waited a little while, his mother would be back and then we ...
Views: 1195 - "I Was Full Of Self-Doubt" - by Submitted on Jan 24, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperBefore I started writing articles, I had been on the path for around seven years. During this time, I had put a lot of effort into trying to understand myself and why my life was the way it was. So, when I started writing, it wasn’t as though I just woke up one day and thought that I would ...
Views: 1081 - "I Will Love You Forever!" - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperOver the years, I have heard many people say that they love their partner. Additionally, I have also seen people say this on social media, and this has often been followed up with their partner saying the same thing. Whenever this was said, it was as though this meant that they would stay ...
Views: 1016 - "My Family Were In Denial!" - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIn 2012, I started to read books on child abuse, and the only time that I had read anything like this before was in 2009, when I read the book ‘Toxic Parents’ by Susan Forward. So, up until this point, I had primarily been reading books on self-development. As far as I knew, I just lacked ...
Views: 1115 - "People Haven't Got Time To Have Years Of Therapy!" - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperA little while ago, when I was online, I read something that really stood out. The general gist was that due to how busy people are in today’s world, they haven’t got the time to have years of therapy. As a result of this, they need to be able to transform their life in a much shorter period ...
Views: 639 - "She Had A Big Impact On My Life!" - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperThere was a moment in the beginning of 2013, when I didn’t know why something was taking place. I had been in relationship for a few months and I didn’t completely understand why the woman I was with was behaving in a certain way. I had the need to find out about what might be going on, ...
Views: 1103 - "The Reason For Evil In The World Is That People Are Not Able To Tell Their Stories" - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I heard the quote above by Carl Jung, I had a clear idea about what he was talking about. My interpretation of what he said is that unless someone is able to talk about what they have been through, they will end up harming others. This is not to say that they will end up killing millions ...
Views: 513 - "This Guy Has Good Boundaries!" - by Submitted on Sep 17, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperAs I look back on my journey, I can see that there have been a number of moments when what I was doing no longer worked. And, when this has happened, it has caused me to look for something else. One of the moments that comes to mind is in the middle of 2009, as this was a time when what I ...
Views: 1063 - "This Guy Is An Expert At What He Does!" - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperTowards the end of last year, I was introduced to someone called Collin Smith, who is also known as ‘The Listener’. Now, this not merely a fancy term that he uses; it relates to what he is actually like. He is one of the best listeners I have come across, and I don’t say this lightly. ...
Views: 1065 - "What Was Cute In Romance May Become Acute In Conflict” - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperA number of years ago I read a few books by David Richo, and this is someone who really knows what he is talking about. Whether it is relationships or self-development in general, his books are packed full of insights. When I read two of his books towards the end of 2013, I had recently gone ...
Views: 874 - "Why Do You Want To Do That?" - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperA few years ago a friend of mine asked me if I was able to help them move house. I asked them when they were moving and I came to see that I was available on that day. I think I had already helped two friends move house already that year, so I was well-prepared. Shortly after I had been ...
Views: 1075 - "You Have To Kill Your Inner Parents!" - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperAt the end of 2016, I could see that I needed to work on my boundaries and to feel better about myself. When it came to the former, this wasn’t just about me saying no; it was also about me listening to my own needs and no longer trying to please others. As for the latter, I could see that ...
Views: 971 - "You Need To Be Able To Handle Your Own Emotions!" - by Submitted on Dec 07, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperThrough reading books on self-development, taking courses and changing what was taking place in my mind, amongst other things, I started to settle down mentally and emotionally. This was something that often stood out when I was out socialising, as I generally felt as though I was in control of ...
Views: 1063 - "You Should Know What My Needs Are!" - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperThere will be times when it is possible for someone to know what another person’s needs are and times when it won’t be. That is, of course, unless someone has the ability to read minds; if they do, they will always know. But, if this ability is put to one side, another person will need to ...
Views: 409 - 127 Hours: My Interpretation of the Metaphors - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhat motivated me to see this was the fact that Danny Boyle was directing it, with it being his first film since Slum Dog Millionaire. After this I heard that it was based on a true story. The story is about a climber, who in order to survive, has to lose his own arm. While I was watching it ...
Views: 2905 - A Child Can't Be Religious! - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperAs a boy I went to a Church of England school and this meant that there were occasions when I would have to go to church. Additionally, my father was a Christian and he was part of the church choir as a boy. However, I wasn’t forced to read the bible and to go to church every Sunday. This ...
Views: 1186 - A Problem Shared Is A Problem Halved - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find is that they have the inclination to keep their challenges to themselves, and perhaps they have been this way for as long as they can remember. They may believe that sharing what is going on for them would make them look weak or incapable, for instance. Therefore, even ...
Views: 657 - Abandoned: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Feel Abandoned? - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn general, someone could rarely spend time by themselves, with them preferring to spend time around others. Along with this, they may have been in a relationship for most of their life. This could show that they have been with one person for a long time, or they may have been with a number ...
Views: 89 - Abandoned: Can Someone Have A Deeply Repressed Feeling Of Being Abandoned If They Experienced Developmental Trauma? - by Submitted on May 15, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone could do is create the impression that they are not very emotional and even that they don’t have an emotional self. The reason for this is that they can typically come across as calm and detached. Another part of this is that they might not have a strong desire to be around ...
Views: 101 - Abandonment: Does The Fear Of Being Abandoned Cause You To Please Others? - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to pleasing others, ideally, this will be a choice and not something one feels they have no control over. If one feels that they always need to please others, it is going to interfere with their ability to listen to their own needs and emotions. And when one feels the need to ...
Views: 1778 - Abandonment: Does The Fear Of Being Abandoned Control Your Life? - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile the ideal is for someone to live their truth, this is not always possible. And one reason why this is not possible is when they have a fear of being abandoned. Their choices and decisions in life are then going to be defined by this fear and what is actually right for them is going to be ...
Views: 1935 - Abuse: Have You Gone From Being A Victim To Being A Perpetrator? - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt is often said that abuse is passed down from one generation to another and it can be hard for people to understand why this happens. However, the next generation are not the only ones who can end up being abused; it is also something that can affect the people who the abuser comes into ...
Views: 1839 - Abuse: Is Grieving Unmet Childhood Needs An Important Part Of Ending The Cycle Of Abuse? - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone is abused during their childhood years, they can end up doing the same thing and abusing others or they can put an end to the abuse. And based on how much pain one would have experienced when they were abused, it is often hard for people to understand why they would end up doing to ...
Views: 2025 - Abuse: What Causes Abuse? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIt can be difficult to describe what abuse is and this is because the word ‘Abuse’ can mean different things to different people. For one person it might relate to emotional pain, for another it might involve physical pain. With there being different degrees of pain and hurt within these two ...
Views: 2025 - Abuse: Why Do Some People Always Put Others Down? - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperAs a human being, one has the ability to lift others up and make their life easier, or they can pull others down and make their life harder. There are going to be some people who generally fit into the first category and then there will be others who generally fit into to the second ...
Views: 13979 - Abused Children: Do Abused Children Need To Forgive Their Parents? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to moving on and letting go of an abusive past, it is not uncommon to hear that one needs to forgive. The act of forgiveness is highly regarded by many people and in numerous schools of thought. Religion has also espoused this outlook from the very beginning. So is it really a ...
Views: 2826 - Abused Children: Why Do Abused Children Deny What Happened? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough the title refers to abused children, this article will primarily look at why some adults, who were abused as children, grow up to deny what happened to them. Individuals that were abused in their childhood by their parents or caregivers often find it hard to look at and admit to what ...
Views: 3548 - Abused Children: Why Do They Have Boundary Problems? - by Submitted on May 13, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThis article has the description abused children and therefore gives the impression that it is going to be all about children. However, this will be about adults who were abused as children and as a result of this now have a real challenge with boundaries. When it comes to child abuse, there ...
Views: 2005 - Abusive Behaviour: Why Do People Put Up With Abusive Behaviour? - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAbusive behaviour can include all that makes one feel compromised, undermined and taken advantage of. It can be in the relationships one has with: friends, family, colleagues and in intimate relationships. The type of environment it is, or whether one is male or female, the race or the ...
Views: 2424 - Abusive Mothers: Why Are Some Mothers Abusive? - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere are some mothers out there who are loving and supportive and these are the epitome of the mother archetype in action. And then there are mothers who are anything but loving and supportive. These are mothers who have gone against their natural inclination to nurture. Instead of doing all ...
Views: 2633 - Abusive Parents: Why Do They Deny What Happened? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperParents that are abusive often deny that the abuse has ever taken place. And if it is not denied, then it may even be minimized. Both of these actions can have devastating consequences on the lives of those that were abused. So here I want to take a closer look at why parents deny or minimize ...
Views: 5226 - Abusive Relationships: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Create A Tolerance For Abuse? - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone experiences some kind of abuse in their adult relationships, there is often the chance that they will identify with one of two outlooks. They can either see that this abuse is a reflection of what took place during their childhood or they can come to the conclusion that their ...
Views: 1924 - Acceptance: Is Acceptance Good Or Bad? - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperWhile it could be said that the ideal will be for one life’s to go as they want it to go, this doesn’t always take place. Instead, they can have moments when they don’t get what they want and there can be times when something ‘negative’ will occur. Resistance When something like this ...
Views: 1243 - Acceptance: Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Accept Themselves? - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the greatest needs a human being has is to be accepted for who they are. But while this is the case, it doesn’t necessarily mean that one has been able to fulfil this need or that they believe it is even possible for them to fulfil it. If people were generally encouraged to be ...
Views: 3340 - Acting Out: Can Someone Act Out Feeling Helpless If They Experienced Developmental Trauma? - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone can have the tendency to feel totally helpless, it doesn’t mean that they will be aware of this. However, when they feel this way, it is going to have an effect on how they behave. This is likely to be a time when they will behave in ways that typically don’t serve them ...
Views: 89 - Addiction: Can Toxic Shame Lead To Addiction? - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperIf one was to hear the word ‘addiction’, there is a strong chance they would start to think about an alcoholic or a drug addict. This is not because it is impossible to be addicted to anything else; it is because of how addiction is often portrayed in today’s world. As a result of this, it ...
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