Personal development
The Seven Deadly Realities are like the weeds in the garden of our mind.
Why Do We Need To Learn About Human Behavior and the Seven Deadly Realities?
If personal development is like a garden, books are like the tools that we use to tend to our crops. The book Mastery, by Robert Greene is one very useful tool. In this great book we learn that mastery is a form of power and intelligence that represents the high point of human potential.
The definition of social intelligence in Mastery is, ". . .nothing more than the process of discarding the Naive Perspective and approaching something more realistic."
Social intelligence is one of the aspects of mastery. Understanding and being able to read people accurately is an important part of social intelligence and worthy to be included in your personal development goals.
"To be truly charming and socially effective you have to understand people, and to understand them you have to get outside yourself and immerse your mind in their world."
In his book, Robert refers to human behavior and the Seven Deadly Realities. Back to our garden analogy, the types of behavior listed as the Seven Deadly Realities would represent the weeds. Most of us have these qualities in small amounts, but in groups, we can count on someone who's behavior will reflect at least one or more of these qualities more than others. It is important for us to grow in our social intelligence so that we understand these qualities and learn how to deal with them.
The Seven Deadly Realities are Envy, Conformism, Rigidity, Self-obsessiveness, Laziness, Flightiness and Passive Aggression.
human behavior, social intelligence
In order to play the game of social intelligence, we must understand the rules.
Social Intelligence Is Like A Game
It is important to note, that learning how to deal with people who display these behaviors is not manipulative in any way, but it is learning the game. Yes, it's like a game. In order to be successful we must understand and play by the rules. This is part of social intelligence, and mastery.
I will list the Seven Deadly Realities below with a brief explanation of each. For a thorough explanation read the book. : )
Envy: It is human nature to compare ourselves to others in all kinds of categories, but some people experience this emotion on a very deep level due to insecurities. There are a few behaviors you can look for if you suspect someone feels envious of you. Anyone who praises you too much, or who seems overly friendly at first, could be feeling envious. There are ways you can disarm such people. Be honest about your own insecurities and weaknesses. Show interest in their work, and compliment them, and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself sometimes!
Conformism: In any kind of group setting, whether it is work, church, etc., anyone who is very different makes the group feel uncomfortable. This is why we conform to the groups values. "Often unconsciously conforming to the spirit of the man or woman on top, members will share the same values about morals or politics." Much of the time, those of us who are aiming for mastery stand out more. On the journey to mastery it is better to let your work speak for you. In this situation it is actually better to wear a mask and be careful of what you say.
Rigidity: In this crazy world, there are times we resort to a kind of "artificial simplicity" so that we can have a sense of control. We create habits and routines, and we prefer what is familiar; thus there are many people who fear new things. Don't waste your time trying to fight them. "The best strategy is to simply accept rigidity in others, outwardly displaying deference to their need for order."
human behavior
Masks help protect us in situations we don't feel safe to be authentically ourselves.
Self-Obsessiveness: "The world is a harsh and competitive place, and we must look out for our own interests." It is normal to put ourselves first, though we won't acknowledge that we are doing this, and are even unconscious of it. People that are very self absorbed will make a show of being interested in all the right things, and appear "saintly". It can be hard for us to see this quality in people. These are the people who make a big show of being "there for you" for instance, then when you ask for something, they are not available. Have you ever experienced this?
Laziness: Everyone wants to make things as easy as possible, but there are those people who take it to a whole new level! They want an "Easy Button" for everything! These folks will steal your ideas, always looking for shortcuts. In the work environment it is important to be careful what we say if we want to get credit for our own ideas and work.
Flightiness: Let's face it. We are mostly ruled by our emotions, and these emotions affect how we perceive things. People's ideas change by the day, dependent on how they feel. It can be very confusing for us if we interact with someone who is extremely flighty. It's people like this that you definitely want to focus on their actions more than their words.
Passive Aggression: "The root cause of all passive aggression is the human fear of direct confrontation - the emotions that a conflict can churn up and the loss of control that ensues." People with real passive aggressive tendencies will try more indirect ways of getting what they want. The best course of action with these people is to avoid them whenever possible. Again, look past the outward friendly, or benign fronts. If you focus only on actions you will get a clearer picture.
master of human behavior
A student of human behavior, Mr. Franklin understood how to play the game.
Ben Franklin - A Master Of People
Another source of great information on social intelligence and human behavior is the life of Benjamin Franklin. He was astute at learning how to read human behavior.
We should all be on a journey to improve ourselves. Hopefully, you can now identify some traits in yourself you can work on, but also recognize these traits in other people so that you might get a better understanding of them, and how to better relate to them.
Social intelligence is very helpful in the world of entrepreneurship. The Seven Deadly Realities can hurt us and/or keep us stuck as we work on growing our businesses. If you are looking for help in growing your business online, or are interested in learning how to become an entrepreneur check out the link below. It will take you to a page where you can enter your email address and receive a video series that will tell you all about a wonderful training platform for internet entrepreneurs, including the community and the tools you need. We are in a digital revolution, come and join us!
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I want to create a grass-roots movement toward becoming radical encouragers and positive thinkers in the public and business realms. As William Wallace (Mel Gibson) cried out in Braveheart, “FREEDOM”! We want freedom from the negative thoughts and lies that keep us stuck. Stuck in unhealthy relationships, bad jobs, stuck in our own heads, or stuck in a rut.
I have been married for almost 34 years to the same wonderful, supportive, loving – yet sometimes taxing man! He would say the same of me! We have two fantastic kids whom we love with all our hearts and are very proud of, five super special grand kids, (I am a “Mimi” I have bragging rights) and two adorable canine adopted kids that let us live in the house with them. Not to mention many fish and corals that are part of my addictive reef keeping hobby.
I have a passion for business and anything entrepreneurial. I believe that small businesses of all kinds are the foundation of this country. I have, in fact, owned a brick & mortar business, and am now mastering internet marketing. I know how hard it is for small businesses to compete in this world economy. It takes a special type of person to be an Entrepreneur.