Men have been known to be the stronger half of the species, and while many today will generally argue this fact, it is one that has already been proven time and time again. Whether in physical or emotional aspects, men have been known to show resistance and resilience against breakdowns – but make no mistake, this does not mean they are immune. Stress is known to be one of the main causes for breakdowns and nothing produces more stress than divorce.
Divorce can bring about a myriad of emotions and problems into one single point in your life. When things aren’t really looking up despite of all your efforts and are heading for an eminent and painful end, even men find it difficult to maintain their composure and emotional strength. So how do you cope with these confusing situations and emotions? Here are some points that you may want to ponder on:
Denial
Getting involved in a situation where even your smallest emotions or reactions become a burden can push you to a state of denial. Denial can make everything seem fine, can make it appear as if reconciliation is still just around the corner, will ease the burden that you feel; but the thing is – it’s not real. Denial will only push you to do irrational things that will push your partner further away. You end up risking everything that you stood up for and even your self-respect just to get back to something that YOU KNOW you already lost.
Facing reality will be difficult, but it is the only way to take if you’d want to move forward. Take only the necessary steps which you think will help make the situation better. Analyze every action that you make and prevent negative emotions and rationalizations from affecting them. Give yourself the time you need to heal and accept the fact that you and your other half is no more. Yes, it will be painful and it will be slow, but this will be the only way to guarantee complete emotional recovery.
Anger & Resentment
Anger and resentment is one phase that most men undergoing divorce go through. It is an undeniable fact that many tend to blame themselves or their ex-partners for the pain that they are feeling, ending up angry and resentful in the end. While anger can give you some form of satisfaction as it allows you to channel your possible faults and mistakes into a single point, it’s also a sign of defeat. Giving in to your anger will only lead you to a downward spiral of hate and resentment that you may never get back-up from.
Anger and resentment deprives you of rational solutions for problem solving preventing you from achieving any REAL solutions and even destroy any possibility of reconciliation. Eliminating anger and resentment can be tough but it is one thing that should be done if you really want to survive what you’re going through.
Depression
Depression is what will come next after you’ve learned to let go of your anger and resentment. It is of course, normal to grieve over what you have just lost. The problem however doesn’t really lie on the grieving stage; it’s in the recovering stage as some never really or totally recover from the state of depression that they feel.
Depression prevents you from establishing new relationships due to fear that the same thing will happen again and even push you down further into hopelessness and helplessness. Dealing with depression is not easy either, you may want to take some time off and be alone for a while but it is important that you try to move on with your life as well.
Friends and family will play a big role in getting you out of the hole that depression has dug and their help should be welcomed instead of turned away. They can help in letting out your emotions, dealing with them one by one, and letting them go. Take your time, take it slow, but be sure to deal with depression, otherwise the problems and pain that you feel will only get worse.
Depending on what type of personality you have, it’s best to keep yourself pre occupied with activities you like. It may be engaging in hobbies, or socializing. It’s high time to get your life back on track. There’s always room for betterment.
To learn and understand more about dealing with problems and issues that may come up after your divorce, click the link below for more information that will help you end the nightmare, and get you back on the proper track to achieving freedom and happiness.