Your First Steps To Changing

Your First Steps To Changing
By Therese Benedict

In this world we walk around thinking that we are good people inside, yet we do such hurtful acts. In the beginning of our change, we need to recognize what belongs to us in those hurtful acts. Face them, say hello and put the actions with being aware when we commit these acts and then work on them, so we may start the actions of stopping these hurtful doings.

Whether it is cussing, name calling, lying, rude gestures, or just plain being mean, it takes time to stop. It’s important to keep being aware of hurtful acts and stop. If you fall, you don’t say, “Well I blew it,” and continue with the wrong, you stop and keep trying. Words can damage someone’s soul. It can be damaging to their heart and their life. We tend to hold those things in our soul and are affected by it everyday of our lives.

What we do to others is important... We are one big family here on earth, and we need to treat our family with love, even if you do not know your family. Just because we do not look the same, we all came from the same father. He is sitting around us and within us watching how his children treat each other knowing that we truly know better.

Freewill is hurtful and we need to turn our freewill to good and not the opposite. We walk around in distrust and fear because of the actions we do to each other. Now why would we want to walk around like that, when life is a gift? What we do is take that gift away and give fear because of power. Power should be a beautiful feeling inside without using it to control others. We should use it to help others, to show them what true giving is supposed to be, so we have a good feeling in our soul, instead of walking away angry.

Anger is killing the love in this world and it is our job to bring it back. This can only be done by changing who we are, to whom we are meant to be and to change our wrong actions to right. It will take time, but as I always say, “Would you rather be miserable for a short time, by working hard on you or would you rather be miserable for the rest of your life?" It is our own freewill that can make this come true, to feel our own strength of doing something so much more difficult than you understand, until you do the effort. But when you feel the strength you truly have, then you will know that you can do this change. Doing something so simple seems to be the most difficult thing to accomplish because we have made being cruel a habit.

So make the choice to be all of you or to walk this life with fear and the wanting of true love. Let’s find the love on this earth again and stop running from the fear.

Question & Answer Forum:

Q: How do I learn to love myself?

Wayne C.
Tempe, Arizona

A: You need to think, “Do you care of whom you are and where you go in life?” Of course you are going to say, “Yes.” Well, that leaves one thing for you to do, love yourself enough to do something about it. Without letting anyone get in the way of your goals or dreams. This does not mean be cruel to accomplish this feat, it means express to others that this is important to you and you are the only one that can make it happen - with support from family and friends.

You alone hold the key to your soul, it is up to you to open your heart with this key; for yourself and anyone else you choose to let in. Wouldn’t you think that you’d want to at least let you in? Protect yourself and take care of you. You are the one you rely on, truly, so why do you let yourself down?

You have to give love to you first; getting it from the outside does not complete your soul due to the fact your own love is missing. So respect your love for yourself and treat it right and not leave it up to others to do what you need to do yourself.

Q: I believe some of my own fear or fears come from lack of trust and being hurt… How can I approach relationships and situations with a more open mind without being so guarded or unable to see things honestly at times?

Girard D.
Phoenix, Arizona

A: The first thing you want to do is approach your relationships and situations with an open mind; with no guard or wondering if they are going to be honest or not. Let me explain something to you: when you walk into a relationship or a situation accusing you’re already trying to find out if it is true or not. Give these situations a chance and just get to know someone and even a situation. Do not walk in with the worst thoughts, walk in with positive thoughts of a new beginning. Now if it does not work out, well, then you are teaching yourself how to overcome your fears of trust and hurt. There is always going to be some form of hurt in a new relationship, how you handle it with them is everything. Not saying anything - won’t work and how you say it is a way of how they can learn to respect one’s feelings. You can’t express true feelings with a guard up, only when guards are down are you able to express completely and not incompletely.

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Therese Benedict
Copyright © 2010, by Therese Benedict