"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."- Hans Hofman
When you de-clutter, you simplify your life and bring fresh creative energy to your relationship. When you work together to de-clutter your home, you get to spend time together working toward a common goal.
Two or more lives together is complicated enough without a lot of unnecessary physical baggage cluttering up the home. Let's face it: sometimes marriages and relationships and life get chaotic.
When Diane went through her divorce, things were chaotic and unpredictable, to say the least. To stay sane and grounded, she kept her home environment as clean and orderly as she could. In times of extreme pain, confusion and frustration, she would look up and see her clean and orderly home and be reminded that things were not that bad. She say, "I can handle this," or "Not everything is falling apart." In the midst of pandemonium, she could feel some peace.
People's faces light up as they said goodbye to broken, incomplete and old items. One client actually got up and danced with joy at the new space and energy created by de-cluttering. Others have said, "Gosh, I feel like I lost weight or something!" and "I'm not so bogged down any more." De-cluttering is contagious; once one partner starts, the other will usually join in.
As you are sorting through your belongings, there are two questions to ask as you decide whether to keep an item or not:
Do I need it?
Do I use it?
If you answer "no" to both, be ruthless! Give it the old heave-ho.
It works best to use the "four category" system. Set up a box or bag for each category:
- Throw Away
- Charity/Sell
- Not Yet
- Seasonal
The Not Yet box, full of things you know you don't really use or need but can't bear to part with yet, goes to a friend's house for about six months. Anything you don't ask to have back within that time gets given away by your friend.
The exciting discovery about de-cluttering is that with less stuff and better organization, you can have more lightness and energy, and begin to create more time for the important things in your life, like, oh my gosh, your loved one!
Note: You or a loved one may have extreme difficulty getting rid of anything. A strong emotional attachment to the "stuff" can paralyze de-cluttering attempts. This is called "hoarding" and the problem might be too big to manage on your own. If you suspect there is a hoarder in the house, seek help from a professional organizer.
See what happens in your relationship when you rid of the "unnecessary so the necessary may speak."
Diane and Lewis Denbaum are relationship educators and the authors of "Madly In Love Forever," a book packed with heartfelt stories, easy-to-use help and no-nonsense advice to help you create the romantic relationship you desire. Two free chapters of their book are available at http://www.madlyinloveforever.com/free-chapters/