Save Some Love for Yourself

Everyone has come to parenthood with some hurtful or limiting belief about themselves. And for each one affected, each one has had his or her self-love challenged. It’s sad that it happens this way, but so many of us have become the change because of it, that I think it’s possible for you, too.
One unfortunate drawback of being human is that our human flaws and criticisms can be passed on to another. Many people say their greatest fear is that they will one day open their mouth and their mother or father will be the ones talking! As a parent, we have a wisdom that is objective and patient, or, sometimes, we operate on autopilot, which is usually rooted in a survival mindset.
It’s the better part of wisdom to address these uncomfortable feelings and do something about them before we create more harm to ourselves and for our children. In order to tap into our innate wisdom at all times, it is imperative that we develop a deep sense of love for ourselves, and shed old ideas of the self.
Operating from your love for your children, you can allow that same love to expand to embrace you as well. Try asking yourself the following:

What are the qualities I can improve upon that will truly develop me into an amazing parent?

When I interact with my children, what are the feelings I want to base my actions on?

What are some actions I can take to steep myself in these feelings and develop the qualities of an ideal parent?

What are the areas in which I can feel important about myself? A pat on the back is honest and completely acceptable.

In which areas can I stretch myself beyond my current comfort level? Look at patience, for example. How can I be more patient with myself and my kids?

Is there a way I can give to others as an example to my kids so they become givers? This is loving and kind and fosters self-love and self-esteem.

Create alone time for yourself. Indulge the individual inside you who isn’t a mom – the woman within.
“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Inventory how meaningful your activities are. If they are not, what can you inject into your life that would be more meaningful and make you feel better about yourself.

Join a mother’s support group. Who knows best what support a mom needs than another mother? Your sense of self will unfold as you hear other moms speak.

Know that when there are empty spots inside you, you won’t be able to give any more to your children until they are filled. It isn’t selfish to fulfill yourself. It’s imperative!

We spend countless hours cultivating a deep sense of love and belonging with our children. It is in fact easy to start to share this love with ourselves. Once you begin this process, you will see that love grow exponentially, with more to share with your family.