It’s heartbreaking. It’s devastating. It brings the whole world down and you see your dreams crumbling into pieces. Yes, we are talking about the breakup and its effect on people. If the relationship has been a long one and you had gotten too close, the breakup hurts more. Most people in such cases want their ex back as they cannot bear the pain. Are you feeling the same?
Wait before you do anything
It’s good that you want your ex-partner back in life and recreate the magic. You must have thought about the action plan also. However, before you start acting on your plan, step back a little and think clearly. There are certain things you need to consider before taking the initiative. You do not want to commit the same mistake or fall prey to the same situation and get hurt, right?
Why did the breakup happen?
The reason for the breakup is the first thing you should ponder about. If it was as serious as cheating, you should think twice before reconciliation. Cheating is a blow to your trust and it often damages the relationship beyond repair. Ask yourself whether you have wholeheartedly forgiven your partner and are ready to rekindle the old spark. In most cases cheated partners carry the grudge within which makes them unhappy.
Can you address the real reasons and change accordingly?
If there were other reasons involved, like drinking or losing temper or not being able to communicate properly, ask yourself whether you can address the issues and change the situation. If you cannot, chances are high that the relationship would again fall into a pit. Both of you needs to discuss these things and come to terms with the reality.
Why do you want your ex back?
I know most of you would say because you love your partner but a successful relationship requires more than that. Love is one of the ingredients that make a relationship work. You need respect, trust, friendships and support too. Unless you are sure that all these elements are there in your relationship, heartbreak may await you in the future.
Are you ready to make compromises?
A lot of the time, breakups happen because one partner is not willing to compromise. If you are that person, are you ready to compromise now? Can you talk about the issues that miffed your partner and led to the breakup? If your partner is the stubborn one, are you confident of handling the situations? Contemplate on the future of the relationship if you reconcile and take a decision based on all the facts.
Can you focus on the future?
Why would you take the trouble to woo your ex and get back together if you do not have any vision for the future? It’s important to focus on the future when getting back into a relationship. If you can let go of the past and start fresh with some exciting future goals, go for it.
How did you feel when you were together?
There are people who make us feel great. Some bring out the best in us and always inspire us to aim for the higher. If you felt confident and happy with your ex, you should consider getting her back. Think of the time you have spent together. Did you fight most of the times, did your partner make you feel incompetent or sad? If it didn’t go well the first time, chances are high it won’t go well the second time. Maybe you want to get your ex back only out of habit or loneliness.
Getting back with someone after a breakup requires a lot of patience, hard work, and compromises. If you think it is worth the effort, go for it. Or else maybe it is time to move on with life. If you want your ex back and you are already sure it is the right thing, getyourexback.org is a good resource for you.
Chief editor here at Billboard Health, wife and Mother of 1, Nutritionist, Financial Analysist and goal hunter